Searches

I am able to track how many people view this blog daily and lately it has been averaging around 25 hits per day. Also; I am able to track what search engine such as Google, Yahoo, MSN, etc. people used to get to the blog and what their search criteria was. Tonight there was a very interesting search criteria; "How do you stop a compulsive gambler from gambling?" This is a very interesting question and being a compulsive gambler I can only answer this question from my perspective. The simple answer; only one person can stop a compulsive gambler from gambling and that is the compulsive gambler. My parents tried when I was 18 years old, my wife tried when I was 28 years old and finally when the roof caved in 10 and half months ago I finally admitted I need help with my problem.

As I have touched in the last few days; it really doesn't have to be this way for anyone who is willing to get help with their gambling problem because help is available. This help comes in the form of Gamblers Anonymous. Many people with gambling problems start the Gamblers Anonymous Program only to fall out of the Program after a few months. I read a statistic that stated only 6% of compulsive gamblers who start Gamblers Anonymous are still regularly attending meetings one year after their first meeting. This may sound like the Program doesn't work but on the contrary it works perfectly for those 6% because they are not gambling and getting their lives back together. It is hard to say what happens to the other 94% because no one knows if they continue to abstain from gambling without the Program or do go back to gambling. No one will ever know what happens to these people because it is an anonymous program and no studies will ever be conducted.

I do know for myself if I were ever to stop attending meetings and stop the Program it would be detrimental to my recovery. See I tried the willpower approach; it didn't work. I tried the ignore I have a problem approach; it didn't work. I tried the theory of me being smarter than the "average" gambler approach; it didn't work. I have been regularly attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings for the past 10 months and 21 days and it has worked. I am not going to mess with something that appears to be 100% effective if I follow the RULES of the Program. Number one rule; abstain from any gambling; rule number two; attend as many meetings as possible; and rule number three; follow the Steps of Recovery. As long as I follow each of these rules and apply them to my every day life; things will get better and have already gotten better.

Getting back to the original question; "How do you stop a compulsive gambler from gambling?" Unfortunately, you do not; the gambler has to make this decision. There have been too many horror stories about compulsive gamblers and their need to make that wager to recount. I know for myself it has been a ridiculous journey into the world of denial. I denied I was a compulsive gambler and this denial led me to some horrible places. Until a compulsive gambler is honest, open-minded and willing they like myself will continue to gamble until everything is gone. Some people again like myself learn the hard way and some people never learn because they cannot be honest, open-minded or willing to admit their problem.

The brain is a strange instrument and can talk you into doing so many things and if this brain believes the answer to all your prayers is the next big win you will doing anything. However; the brain does not define the next big win because no matter how big the win for the compulsive gambler it is NEVER enough and won't stop until everything is all gone. The chase is endless but if you are honest, open-minded and willing this chase will finally end and life will begin again. However; until such time the compulsive gambler will continue to gamble no matter what anyone around them says or does. This doesn't mean you should not try to help the compulsive gambler it only means the compulsive gambler hears what they want to hear and disregards all the rest.

The only advice I can give to a loved one of a compulsive gambler is to PROTECT yourself. Make sure the compulsive gambler does not have access to your checking account, savings account, 401K, stock market account, home equity line, I think you get my meaning. Protect yourself because the compulsive gambler cannot think of anyone but themselves when they are in the midst of their gambling and I say this with experience.

The illness of compulsive gambling takes precedence over everything in their lives. Yes, we are very sick people and need help. With this help we can live normal productive lives but cannot gamble again because only bad things will happen. There maybe some people who can "control" their gambling but they are not compulsive gamblers, I know I can never "control" my gambling which is why I choose to NOT gamble today.