Three Boys in a Park

The highlight of my day was taking my son and his two friends to the park this afternoon. This may not sound like much to some people but it means the world to me. When my life changed ten and half months ago it changed for the better not the worse. It has made me realize I have everything I will ever need right in front of me which is my family. Thank God I have not lost my family I must have been doing something right because I certainly have done a lot of things wrong.

This afternoon I played soccer with three just about five year old boys in the park and it was a great time. I was a little hard on the boys because I told them if they touched the ball with their hands they had to run a lap. They all did a great job but my son actually wanted to run the lap so he starting picking up the soccer ball and I watched him run three consecutive laps. It may not sound fun to some but my little boy was having a blast.

Yes, in the past I would take my children to the park and play with them but there was always a distraction. I had to always look at my cell phone to check the latest scores of the day and now those days are over. I am actually there not only in body but in mind and it feels so very good. I don't know how much longer I will have with my children but I will cherish each and every day. This is much like I cherish each and every day since I stopped gambling.

I was watching the three boys play and they are all just about the same age either five or soon to turn five. They all have different personalities and different athletic abilities and it was so nice to fully absorb what was going on. I am biased because it is my son so I am not so sure if this is completely objective so please take it for what it is worth but my son is a little athlete.

Obviously he takes after my wife's family because I am NO athlete nor have ever been one. I watched my son run, kick and play and it seemed fairly obvious that this kid is going to be a very good athlete. He has a solid frame and runs very well. Hopefully, when he gets to high school I will be able to enjoy some of his athletic prowess. Again, I am sure things will develop over the years and he may or may not develop into a good athlete but I hope to be with him as he experiences whatever life has in store.

I wanted to touch on the novel "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. I am sure most of you have read or heard about this book and most recently the controversy regarding this book. I am about three quarters of the way through it and will write more when I finish the book. For some reason I cannot get through this book even though it is quite fascinating; I read six pages and fall asleep!! I think I fall asleep because the writing style is very flat and lulls me to sleep; this is my opinion and I am sure others will disagree. On to the controversy surrounding the book and the alleged fabrications in the non-fiction work. I read an article in Time Magazine regarding these alleged fabrications and the story had a very salient point.

I want to share this salient point but before I do that I want to refresh anyone's memory regarding the alleged fabrication. There are three key points in the book where the author James Frey may or may not have lied. I know these three points and to me it doesn't make a bit of difference whether he fabricated his own memoir. What makes a difference to me is the point in the Time Magazine article which is; "Nobody questions that Frey was an alcoholic and a drug addict. And one of the habits addicts pick up is bending and breaking the truth on a regular basis. If you look at the distortions in Frey's book not as acts of cynical calculation or self-aggrandizement but as symptoms of his disease, they have a pathos to them. If Frey is still lying, if he can't face his life as he lived it, he's not whole yet. Redemption is a wonderful thing, but it's possible that the man whose life became a "Million Little Pieces" may not have quite put himself back together again.

The key for me is to stop living like I lived when I was gambling which involved so much lying and deceit. In the past ten and half months there have been no lies and no deceit. I intend to do this one day at a time and as each day passes I become that much closer to becoming whole for the first time in my life.