Bridging

Of course, I have to start out with the kitchen, otherwise I wouldn’t have that much to write about. Today was the first time I worked the ovens as the one inmate with the most experience. Yesterday, all the kitchen workers were transferred and today the inmate who I get along with very well decided to take the day off because he sensed trouble brewing. He didn’t want any trouble since he is being transferred on Thursday. By trouble, I really mean “drama” not to worry.

It was interesting again because we had three items to prepare in the ovens: eggs, beans, and farina. I didn’t want to act like a boss but I needed to tell people what to do because they had no experience. This presented a dilemma because I didn’t want to come across in the wrong way so I tried to give helpful instructions. The biggest problem came when I saw someone doing something wrong. I went over to them and “suggested” they try it a different way and I would show them how. They took my direction and everyone got along well. The ovens are no big deal to work as long as the food does not get burned. The thing that I don’t really understand is people working hard but not necessarily smart. I am all for saving a few steps and working as efficient as possible while others just go through the motions. Maybe it’s me but if I have four pots that need to be placed in the warmer, I won’t make for separate trips carrying them. I will find the cart and wheel them over while others are content with taking the extra steps. I did give one of my helpful hints but was soon forgotten. Oh well, at least I tried.

Everything went very well with four people working the ovens. Four seems like the optimal number with all the items we had today. We weren’t stepping all over each other and we seemed to be somewhat efficient. The only negative and it is not really a negative because we are at the mercy of the overnight kitchen prep staff who make all the items for breakfast. Yesterday and today we had six full pots of the hot cereal left over which we dumped in the trash after we were done serving everyone. I guess its better to have more than less especially in a place like this. On the positive side, I got to stay here longer when the kitchen supervisor found two trays of coffeecake from yesterday. She told me to put them in the oven without telling anyone. Well a few minutes late the aroma permeated the whole area and questions began. When I brought the two trays to the frontline, I received a big cheer. I told the inmates to thank the kitchen supervisor which some actually did. It was a very positive morning and the days continue to go fast!

I got back to the dorm and was getting ready to do my morning exercises when my name came over the PA system. No, it wasn’t my counselor; it was the “Bridging Instructor”. You may ask, “Who is this?” He is responsible for disseminating the Bridging Education Program (BEP) curriculum to all the inmates who are eligible for halftime credit. Fortunately, I do fit into this category and after 39 days of being here, I have received my booklet. This is a very extensive booklet broken into four weeks consisting of 20 days. Each day contains learning modules which are Life Skills Personal Growth. This is a great theory but as I waited my turn to see the Instructor, I noticed him review other inmates’ books which were given to them two weeks ago. I am not sure I can label this a review because he wasn’t verifying the substance of the turned in material, he was just looking for anything written in the booklet.

Then it was my time to pick up materials. The gentleman started his normal speech about the program and asked if there were any programs I was interested in. I asked him about earning a Master’s Degree and his tone changed dramatically. He wasn’t exactly sure if this was available, but he told me to ask at the next stop. He then started to explain the bridging program and he was apologetic about the materials. The book was written by a Ph.D. and I told him that since this is mandatory for halftime credit, I will take this very seriously.

In defense of the poor Bridging Instructor, there is NO way he can do an in-depth review of the inmate’s material because there are so many of us. He could not possible devote the time since it would be impossible. He comes to our dorm twice every two weeks and we have 140 inmates to be seen. He spends two hours here and has to visit other dorms. He is responsible for over a 1000 inmates and is the only one handling these materials. To say he is overwhelmed may be an understatement. The theory of this program is well founded but put into practice, unfortunately, it fails miserably.

I spent the afternoon doing the first three days of the program. I can’t imagine how some of the other inmates get through this material. It really is a good book and it teaches the positive way of thinking. There is a section on journaling! In fact, everyday has this section. I was half-tempted to put a reference to my blog, but I wanted to take it seriously even though I know no one will read it. This may sound like busy work, but to me it is another part of my recovery. I really don’t know how this program will work with no assistance from an instructor especially from someone who is unwilling to change his behavior. One example of this is a module on self-esteem that to me is a life long process and it will take more than a few paragraphs to instill positive self-esteem into an inmate. As an aside, I remember talking to my therapist early on in my recovery and when I mentioned self-esteem, he let out a big sigh and mentioned that we only had an hour, not years. The module on self-esteem was very good, but many of these things I learned through GA.

Another interesting facet regarding the book is that it constantly refers to drug and alcohol addiction but nothing on gambling. I do understand that an addiction is an addiction, no matter what and all of the references are valid to my addiction. There is also a section on spirituality which is another part of GA Program.

I am assuming I am not the typical participant in the Bridging Program. But, nonetheless I will take it seriously, not only for the halftime credit but to become a better person. All the information is presented in a very positive manner although some exercises are remedial. They are necessary in order to explain the words used and regrettably there are many inmates with grade school education. I am no better than any of them because no matter my educational level, I am in the same place as they are. I do have a head start on my recovery, thanks to the GA Program which continues to save my life. Now I know I will be even busier writing in the next few weeks while working on this bridging material.

Next, a few administrative matters – I received a second letter from my wife yesterday and everyone is doing well! However, it took 11 days for the letter to reach me. This letter from NJ and another one from San Diego took 11 days. Yet, today I received a letter from my mother with some fascinating articles regarding the Prison System – which took seven days to reach. At least the mail is consistently inconsistent.