On the Bottom

I have been overwhelmed by the amount of mail I have received this week. Each day I have been averaging five pieces. There is so much love in my life and I am forever grateful.

The odd thing about corresponding with “snail mail” is the delayed response. It usually takes between 2 to 3 weeks in order to connect the sending and receiving of letters. There are some wonderful people who are one and some two letters ahead of me(my mom is 100’s ahead of me) because of this delay. I assure everyone so far that I have responded to each letter that I have received with the exception of my mother who has sent me something each day, sometimes two – (I hate to know how much she is spending on postage). I have written so much my middle finger has a permanent indentation! I am by no means complaining because I love each letter even the not so good ones.

I am the envy of all the other inmates when mail call comes. My name is announced each day and I go from my bunk to the back left hand corner of the dorm/gymnasium (for you basketball fans out there – my bunk is situated where the base line and the end line meet) over to the C/O podium which is in the center (right hand side of the dorm/gymnasium) and back. As I walk back I pass several other bunks where I receive looks of disbelief. I try to not flaunt the mail I receive but lately there have been questions from other inmates; such as; “how many letters did you get today?” There are also some comments such as, “There should be a separate mail call for me from the rest of the other inmates because I am hogging the mail.” All the questions and comments are of a playful nature and no one appears upset by all the letters I receive.

Last night was the first dinner without my old Bunkie and it wasn’t the same but I did exchange my meat for vegetables and cornbread. Somehow I ended up with three pieces of cornbread which never happened when my old Bunkie was here. I believe some of the other inmates were concerned I wouldn’t get enough food in return for my meat, so they gave up their cornbread. It is fascinating in a place like this that I have found some very good people. I certainly wasn’t looking to make friends in fact, as everyone may recall my initial plan was to “stay under the radar and keep to myself.” I have pretty much kept to myself but I am not anti-social. I have been very respectful to everyone I have met and I have received this respect in return. This is a very different atmosphere from the County Jail and I am positive this has to do with the “old guy dorm”. Whatever it is I have been blessed with a very doable situation. Someone is looking out for me and hopefully as I continue my journey through the California Department of corrections this situation continues.

I spent my first night in almost 2 months sleeping on the bottom bunk. This was a very different experience. The bottom bunk is much darker that the top bunk because (other than the obvious of having a covering on the bottom bunk) I no longer have to deal with the night light shining directly above me. I slept much better and only woke up once during the night.

The overall experience of being on the bottom bunk is much different than the top. I feel more secluded and I can hear much better. I can no longer see the television which is no big deal because I couldn’t hear it anyway. I no longer hesitate to sit in my bunk because there is no more climbing up or down. Now I can see why the bottom bunk is the preferred bunk of man inmates. I didn’t mind the top bunk, but after awhile it became a pain especially in the middle of the night, now it is easy to get in and out of the bunk. Also, I can get more privacy by hanging towels or other clothing items on our clothesline. Yes, we have a clothesline (actually three) one which runs the length of the bunk on the left and right hand side and one which runs across the from two posts of the bunk posts. All three of these lines are on the inner portion of the bunk under the top bunk.

We use these mostly as clotheslines in order for our daily wash to dry. They do work very well but I have a hard time ringing out the very wet clothes. The clothes invariably drip on the bottom bunk and I have to go back to the sink to ring them out again. Ringing the clothes out in a place like this is an art form and many inmates (excluding me) have this down to a science. They shake the clothes out and wind them up very tight in order to ring them out with vigor. The key is to have the clothes not drip on the bottom bunk. I have a long way to go but I also have a long time to practice.

This morning we served the hard boiled eggs, beef hash which by the way was very different than the chipped beef because the beef hash contained onions and potatoes. Also the meat looked liked actual meat whereas the chipped beef look like well I won’t say so you can use your imagination. We also served the cornmeal mush as well. The hard boiled eggs were already cooked and ready to serve (they did smell very bad to me at least) but by judging how much the other kitchen workers ate, I would say they must have been very good. I stuck to my staple of hot cereal (cornmeal mush – directly from the oven without any water added) with added peanut butter, toast and skim milk. I did mix all of the cornmeal which protected me from the hard boiled egg smell. I did have a hard time being around the other inmates who were cracking, peeling and eating their eggs. This was much more difficult than being around the fried eggs. It reminded me of when my wife makes the “Easter Cheese”. I would describe this process but I won’t be able to put the words on paper without first visiting the restroom many times. If you are interested please email her.

We finished up the cleaning of the kitchen which once again included the ovens. These mornings seem to be going by faster and faster. We did finish before 9:00am which is very early. After everyone was finished we made our trek back to the dorm. I need to mention that even though the kitchen/chow hall is 8 steps away from the dormitory it takes 20 minutes to get back to the dorm. It takes this long because we go all the way around the back in order to go through the checkpoint. We cannot proceed back to the dorm until everyone has stripped down in order to proceed through the checkpoint and gets redressed.

As we were waiting to go through the checkpoint, the C/O who was escorting us pointed at me. I did not realize the C/O was pointing at me, I thought he was pointing at the inmate next to me. I finally realized it was me and the C/O instructed me to go to the front of the line because my COUNSELOR was waiting for me back at the dormitory. As soon as I heard the word counselor my ears propped up and I think I actually skipped to the front of the line. I undressed very quickly, went through the checkpoint, got redressed and was instructed to proceed back to the dorm by myself.

I was greeted by another C/O at the entrance of the dormitory who instructed me to fill out a “social factor” and my counselor will be right back to see me. A “social factor” is a one page form which asks for information regarding my family such as mother’s, father’s, sister’s names and their addresses along with telephone numbers. It also asked for my wife’s name, address, and telephone number in addition to my children’s names and ages. Also, last employee’s name and address. I believe all of this information is asked because if the inmate were to escape the police would have starting points. Maybe that is the cynical way of looking at and I would like to believe the counselor put more credence into this “social factor” but as you will read below this certainly was not the case. The C/O told me to hurry up and fill out this “social factor” because the counselor would be back any minute. I told the C/O I had already filled one out (I filled this out three weeks ago) and was ready whenever the counselor was ready.

I retuned back to the dorm at 9:00 am well in advance of the other kitchen workers as I was instructed. I waited patiently sitting near the C/O podium for my counselor. At 9:35 am I told the C/O I was going to change out of my work uniform and I would be back in two minutes. As soon as I took off my work uniform the C/O called my name over the loudspeaker because my counselor was at the podium, (Isn’t this always the case? When you wait for someone to show, but as soon as you leave the person shows up; as I returned to the podium the C/O made a comment to this affect as well).

Exactly seven weeks since arriving at the reception center I finally got to meet with my counselor. I handed him the “social factor” and he promptly placed this form into my file (I am guessing it was my file) without reviewing it. He had me sign an acknowledgement form. After I signed this form he had a copy of all my charges and my restitution amount. As he looked at my charges he turned to the C/O sitting right next to him and said, “Look at all these charges, can you believe he has all these charges and only got four years?” To the C/O’s credit she shrugged her shoulders as to say why are you telling me this (I need to point out that this “counseling session” was conducted with me standing at the podium looking up to the counselor who was sitting down adjacent to the C/O) thankfully the C/O didn’t say one word. The counselor went onto mention I had a previous charge. As soon as I heard this, I was put on the defensive and quickly corrected him. I pointed out that all the charges were from my one and only case. He quickly backed down.

At this point only 2 to 3 minutes had transpired and I felt like I was back in front of the judge on sentencing day. After going through this semi-inquisition the counselor stated my wife called him this morning. I believe he said she was asking him (also knowing my wife she was very respectful and polite which he made no mention of) when he would see me and what would happen next. He said to her, “I can’t tell you anything” and I am not sure if he told my wife if he was going to see me this morning. After saying this he told me he was NOT my assigned counselor and my assigned counselor wouldn’t get to me until a week or two from now; however, because my wife called this morning he would take my file and see me his morning. Thank you so very much, Monica. I love you so very much and thank you for looking out for me.

We finally moved onto his recommendation after he told me I have 8 points (very low, level 1, minimum security) he recommended FIRE CAMP (yah!). There are only two recommendations he made and mine were the two fire camp institutions which are Jamestown and Susanville. I have gone on and on about fire camp in the past so I won’t expand on this program. I am very happy to receive this recommendation; however, I have to remind myself there is no guarantee I will be placed into either one of these facilities. I will believe it when my name is on the trans-packet list and I am assigned to Susanville or Jamestown.

Of course this is a significant step in the process and now the waiting starts all over again. Normally it takes 2 to 4 weeks after seeing a counselor to be on the trans-packet list. I think we all can agree that my case has not been normal at the least; however, I am still hoping for the best but I am still expecting the worse.

I did ask the counselor about the restitution program and he said I am not eligible for this program because my sentence was too long. In order to be eligible, the sentence must be three years or less. He also asked me how I planned to payback my enormous amount of restitution, legally?. I replied fairly sternly that I will work hard and will payback this money. He didn’t have a further response. Incidentally my restitution paperwork does not reflect the money I have paid back; it only has the total amount including the taxes owed. This is something I need to ask my attorney because hopefully somewhere there is a record of the money which was paid back.

My waiting has finally ended for this step and even though my counselor’s session (which by the way lasted 8 minutes) did not go so well in terms of personalities, I did receive the recommendation I was seeking. As soon as I finished with my counselor many inmates asked me how it went and wanted to know the recommendations. I told each of them and I found out more about Fire Camp which has made me more interested. The quote I liked best was “Fire Camp is NOT like prison it is like Boot Camp without the Drill Sergeant”. I was also told that there is a camp very close to where I used to live and if possible I should strongly consider having my entire family visit including the children because this particular Fire Camp is very family oriented and the children should not miss the experience. Yes, I do know it is one step at a time and there are a few more steps which need to be accomplished before making any decisions like these. However, it is so nice to hear positive feedback and I look forward to going through the steps.