More of the Same

It was 3:45 am again which meant back to the kitchen. I had a very good day off yesterday and was ready to get back to more of the same routine. This morning marked the pancake, warmed prunes, and crack wheat menu items. It does seem like we just did these menu items last week because we did do them. The only problem with these items is the prunes because they are so messy and don’t look very well. However, me being the old man that I am, they taste fine. I wonder when this change took place to when I actually liked the taste of the prunes.

I remember feeding both my children prune baby food when they were little and they did eat it. I’m not sure if they actually enjoyed it. Now my children are eight and five, there is no way they would eat a prune let alone be in the same room with one. However, their old man father eats these things and enjoys them, go figure.

We only had another inmate and myself on the ovens to heat up the cracked wheat and prunes which worked out fine. The only issue is cleaning the ovens especially when the prune gravy spills out and cakes on the oven. This is nothing that a little soap, water, and steel wool can’t get off. The good thing about cleaning an industrial kitchen with industrial equipment is I can throw soap and water everywhere because there are built in drains. I think they should build home kitchens with these drains because it would make the cleaning so much simpler.

Luckily, there were no issues with anyone disappearing or not doing their job. The other inmate knows what to do and even though he is a little needy everything went very smoothly this morning. Also, as it turns out, the kitchen supervisor took yesterday off as well. I found this out as we were walking over and when I saw her I asked her about it. She said she called in sick and went on to tell me (with a wink and a nod) how sick she was. It looked as though she needed a day of rest which did her a world of good.

After eating too many pancakes and prunes, it was time for yard. I decided to take the day off from running because my loafers are starting to wear very thin and I am fearful of an injury. I decided to use some of the outdoor exercise equipment and proceeded to do a few sets of pull-ups. This is a very hard exercise and I could only do sets of seven. I was hoping to do ten, but it looks like I need to work up to this level. I was watching some of the other inmates and very few of them could do five. When I finished with the pull-ups, I decided to walk around the track with a fellow inmate who works in the kitchen. He is one of the few who has interesting stories because he has spent most of the past 20 years in and out of state and federal prisons. He was telling me some stories about his federal prison time and it sounds like he has met some colorful characters.

A few days ago, I had a conversation with another inmate who wanted to pick my brain. Apparently, he found out why I am here which really is no secret because there aren’t any secrets or privacy for that matter. He started out the conversation asking me financial questions. I told him my knowledge of the financial system which is more than the average inmate may know, but I am not sure if I gave him the answers he was seeking.

There is a whole different education component with certain inmates and their varied background. My discussions with these two inmates proved very insightful because they were both talking about tremendous amounts of money in a short period of time. I know a few years ago, I would have listened intently and been intrigued by the staggering amounts of money to be made, but now it made my stomach do flips and turns because I want nothing at all to do with illegal activities. The only way for me to earn money is to work hard and honestly. I have looked for the quick buck in the past to finance my compulsive gambling, but I have learned there is so much more to life than making the quick buck and gambling. My life is devoted to my recovery because one slip and indigressions of the past become huge problems in the present. I love my life now that I have been in recovery for almost 19 months and I know things will continue to get better and better as long as I stay on this path.

There are many bad influences in a place like this along with much negativity. However, my focus is on the positive in my life which is my wonderful family and tremendous friends. It certainly doesn’t matter that I don’t own a home or a car. I know as long as I don’t cut any corners everything will be fine. Material possessions will come and go but the main focus is on the three wonderful people who are currently in NJ. There is not a day – make that a minute – which goes by that I don’t think about them. I made a mess, but it really seems like everything is working out in their new surroundings.

Today at mail call, I received four letters: one from my younger sister, sister-in-law, and two wonderful friends. It seems everyone in the dorm knows I get a great deal of mail. I am a blessed person because there is so much love in my life. Unfortunately, many of these inmates have no one and there might be a slight bit of envy. I don’t flaunt my mail; I just go up to the CO at the podium and collect it. From there I take it directly back to my bunk and joyfully open each piece. Most times, I am on my bunk writing either this blog or writing back to my amazing family and friends. I try to blend into the woodwork –actually the cement – but the more I try, the more futile it has become. I need to face facts; I am very different from most everyone here. What I need to be careful of is alienating myself or acting as though I am better than anyone else. I am not; I am here for a reason just like everyone else. I share this commonality with everyone and I try to respect the rules no matter how much I disagree.

I am very fortunate to have been placed in the “OG” (Old Guy) dorm because other ones and other cellblocks around here aren’t as forgiving. It is a bit ironic that a building that was built as a gymnasium some four years ago has turned out to be the most desired dorm in the prison. This is a direct cause of the overcrowding in the prison system. If it wasn’t so crowded, chances are I would have been in a very different housing authority. This is proof positive that something good can come from something bad. I believe my overall situation will continue to turn into something good, all thanks to my recovery.

And again, I didn’t see my counselor today. Last night I did send in a request to set an appointment with him. It is my understanding that all requests must be answered so I am very interested to see if I do receive a response. Also, my Bunkie has not seen his counselor as well and he also sent in a request. Maybe our bunk number “69” is cursed? Who knows, but hopefully, this too shall pass sooner as opposed to later.

(Sidebar – Monica called the counselor on Friday the 29th approximately 9:00 am California time, and he told her that Paul was on his list for today! Fingers crossed~)