Positive Through and Through

The ever popular “they” say attitude is everything and I can’t underscore this enough. A negative attitude brings about negative consequences and a positive attitude brings about positive results. (Note I replaced consequences with results for no apparent reason whatsoever!!) It has been three years since I have been in an office environment and really not much has changed in those three years.

The only significant change has been my attitude. I wouldn’t have labeled my attitude three years ago as negative but on the same token it certainly wasn’t positive. I was a bit okay I was more than a bit distracted for quite a long time in my previous job. The last six months before “it” all happened were horrible. I couldn’t sleep, I was constantly looking over my shoulder yet I couldn’t stop doing what I was doing. It is ridiculous when I look back but this is looking back with three years of recovery.

Regardless of some people’s opinions I wasn’t a mastermind manipulator nor was I scheming to bilk my previous company for years before I actually started. I stumbled upon it and yes, I most certainly exploited this to propel my compulsive gambling addiction. Three years later and with a prison stint under my belt (not too mention on my record as well) my life continues to get better all because of recovery. I sat in my office working and I couldn’t help but to smile. I am focused for the first time in recent memory. I embrace every moment and don’t mind doing the little things such as taking out the trash or (God forbid!) straightening out the bathroom!!!

Time is an amazing healer but it can only truly heal through recovery. Time continues to tick by no matter what I do and these past three years have flown by so quickly. I am eternally grateful for my recovery and the GA Program because I am getting my life back, and it is so much better then it has ever been.

My mother commented that my recent writings have sounded very peaceful. I do agree with her because I am at peace with myself. There is nothing I can do about my past deeds other then learn from them and become a better person. I also do my best to stay positive. I will reiterate as being positive is the key for me.

That fateful day over 19 months ago when I was sentenced and was led off in handcuffs from the courtroom was a true test of my attitude. I remember standing in the hallway off of the courtroom while the deputy was taking my belt and saying to myself “you will get through this and be a much better person”. Well 19 plus months later I have gotten through the prison sentence and I love the result. I remained positive, strong and safe the entire time and not one negative thing happened to me. Yes, a positive attitude does yield positive results.