Gamblers Anonymous Anniversary

On March 5 of last year I entered the Saturday morning Gamblers Anonymous meeting for the first time. In fact this was the first time I have ever attended a GA meeting in my life even though I have needed this program for over 20 years. I didn't know what to expect when I entered the room. The chairperson asked my name and gave me some materials to read over. They told me to sit, relax and listen. I listened intently to the reading of the material and it was as if the book was written specifically for me. Compulsive gambling is progressive in nature and never gets better it only gets worse. This was certainly the truth in my life.

After the reading there was some sharing and I remember being eager to share my story. I wanted to go next but the chairperson told me to relax and they would get back to me in a few minutes. It was finally my turn and first they asked me the 20 questions to ensure I was in the right place. I was in the right place because at the time I answered yes to 16 of the 20 questions. As I have progressed into my recovery I can answer yes to all of the 20 questions.

After answering the 20 questions I had my chance to share. I am not sure what words came out of my mouth but I can clearly remember the reaction on one of the member's face. It was not a reaction of shock or horror it was one of genuine compassion. As I told my story this member nodded in agreement and kept reaching for their forehead. I finished my sharing and received some feedback. I don't remember what the exact words were but there was so much genuine love and affection in that room that I felt so very comfortable.

I believe there were 12 people in the meeting and many of these people have become my dear friends one year later. The sense I got after the meeting was that I am not alone and I don't have to face this addiction alone. I couldn't wait to get to the next meeting the very next day. I instantly felt at home. Also; the member who showed me so much genuine compassion during that very first meeting has become my sponsor and without his guidance I would be a lost soul. I am so very grateful to have made the decision to finally get help for my compulsive gambling addiction. Yes, it took a building to fall upon me to finally admit I am powerless to gambling and my life has become unmanageable but I am so blessed to have done this.

I am blessed because I have people in my life who I didn't even know existed this time last year. I have people in my life that I would do any for and they would do anything for me. I have a fantastic sponsor who I have communicated with in one or another over 300 times in the past 365 days and continues to show me the compassion he showed that very first meeting. I have a Program where the success rate is 100% if I follow all of the guidelines. I have a Program that as long as I am committed to it I won't be committed to something else!! Even though what happened to me over one year ago was one of the worst possible things that could have ever happened to me I have found something positive and my life has gotten better and gets better each and every day.

I know I have let so many people down with my actions caused by my inability to recognize I have a gambling problem. I know there will be people that no matter what I do or what I say will not respect me ever again and this is okay because there is nothing I can do to control anyone's thoughts. I can only control my thoughts and actions. With the Gamblers Anonymous Program in my life and the Steps applied to my daily affairs I know I will regain the respect I lost from myself over one year ago. I thank everyone who I have met through the GA Program in the past year because everyone of those people have touched my life and the Program has saved my life.

Finally a very big happy birthday to my younger sister!!! Happy birthday Jeanine; I love you so very much and I hope you had a great day. Thank you so very much for all that you have done; you are not only a great sister but a great person.