Rainy Day in Southern California

We don't get many of these types of days in Southern California but today was a day to stay inside and keep warm. I know it is not the cold of the Midwest or East Coast nor Canada but to me who's blood has thinned to less than water it felt cold when the temperature hit 46 degrees which combined with the rain made for a very dreary day. The children had a half day of school and we took the afternoon to just sit with them and watch movies. I know these are the little things that I took for granted all of my life but now when they occur I cherish each second. I know my days are numbered and may not have many more of these days left. Which is why spending quality time with my family is one of the things I cherish most.

I was thinking (again) about this time last year. This would have been the day after everything broke and I had made a decision to get help. I first surfed the internet for Gamblers Anonymous and came across their website. I looked for a meeting in my area and the next meeting would be Saturday morning at a local church. I will write more about this first meeting on Sunday. As I perused the GA website I came across the Twelve Steps of Recovery. This is a program within the GA Program that must be followed in order to get one's life back.

As I read the Recovery Program last year I didn't really know what it all meant. I came across words like God and Higher Power and was turned off instantly. I have not been a religious person but I have been a spiritual person but wasn't aware of this last year. As I read steps 7 and 11 I didn't know if I could do this because it specifically mentioned God but I knew I needed help so I made a promise to myself to go to the Saturday morning GA meeting. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made because now I know the difference between being spiritual and being religious. GA does is not a religious program it is a spiritual program and my spirit has grown and continues to grow each and everyday.

Also this day last year I contacted the Employee Assistance Program because I knew I would still have health insurance until the end of the month and asked them if they had a counselor who was trained in gambling addiction. They didn't have a counselor certified in gambling addiction but referred me to an addiction specialist. I couldn't get in to see this person for three weeks but I made the appointment anyway and the Employee Assistance Program guaranteed me 8 sessions with this counselor. I did find it some out ironic that a Casino's health insurance program wouldn't have a specialist who deals with gambling addiction. There are numerous reasons why there weren't any most notably the treatment of compulsive gamblers is way behind any other addiction but I know it will come around some day. I made all 8 sessions and this too has helped me tremendously.

Finally on this day last year I needed a defined plan to get help with my addiction and wanted to contact people who are leaders in this field. One of the first emails I sent out was to Arnie Wexler who is the world's renown expert in the field of compulsive gambling and one year later I am blessed to call this man my friend. I wanted to understand my addiction and get the help I have ignored for so long. I knew what I had done was wrong and would face some dire consequences but I also knew that I needed help with my addiction.

I started writing to anyone who would respond and some of those people who responded are very dear friends today and will be for a lifetime. These are people who really care because they want to help other compulsive gamblers with their addiction. I am so glad I made the decision to get help with my compulsive gambling addiction on this day last year because without any of this help I am not sure if I would be writing this blog.