Complex Addiction

I had a few conversations today regarding the addiction of compulsive gambling and it really is a complex addiction. It is complex yet fairly simply or is it really a paradox. A paradox is a contradiction in terms. Compulsive gambling for the compulsive gambler is quite simple; I can define it for myself as something all consuming and when in the act of this all consuming nothing on the outside world matters. I didn't think of the consequences, how it affected my family, how it affected me and how it affected my friends and co-workers. I just continued the behavior to the bitter end. This may not sound simple but it was an all consuming thought and it has been rather difficult to turn-off over the past 20 plus years.

In the past 13 months I have gotten a great start at turning off this behavior by adhering to the principles of the Gamblers Anonymous Program. I know it has taken me 20 plus years to get to this point in my life but I am truly grateful for the opportunity to turn my life around. I have a long way to go because I am only 40 years of age and have a whole lifetime ahead me. Some of those consequences I didn't realize when I was gambling are coming up rather quickly but I know I will get through those consequences and continue to be a better person each and every day.

Compulsive gambling for the person affected by the compulsive gambler is complex. The devastation the compulsive gambler puts on his or her family or in my case my family is enormous. Take my wife for instance; here is a wonderful lady that would never hurt anyone and always looks at the bright side of things. Over thirteen months ago I gave her the news that our life together wasn't what it seemed. In one thunderous day I wiped out her seemingly perfect day.

It is horrible what I have done to my wife and children but I have a new lease on life and have been doing everything in my power and with my Higher Power guiding me for the past 13 months to rectify this situation. I know I have a lifetime to go and my children are going to grow up in something I had not planned for which is me not being around for a period of time but we will get through this troubled time. All of this was caused by my inability to get help for my compulsive gambling addiction. I cannot change the past and I must concentrate on today which is why I must adhere to the GA Program each and everyday because life does get better.

What does a family member do when they know they have someone who is a compulsive gambler as a loved one but the loved one REFUSES to get help for their addiction? This is a very tough question and makes this addiction even more complex. As the GA Program states the Gamblers Anonymous Program will NEVER work for the person who will NOT face squarely the facts about the illness. There are two key words in that previous sentence; NEVER and NOT. The compulsive gambler MUST be willing to accept the fact that he or she is in a grip of a PROGRESSIVE illness and has a desire to get help. This disease if left unchecked will NEVER get better only worse but no one other than the compulsive gambler can make this decision to get help.

Getting help for a compulsive gambler seems to be very difficult for a number of reasons and one is ego. I know for myself I thought I could control my gambling but I only fooled myself into a lost job, handcuffs and prisons. This is no way to spend life. I had to humble myself to finally admit I am and will always be a compulsive gambler. This is one of the best decisions I have ever made because it has helped saved my life. However; I can recount my story to whoever wants to listen and hopefully it will reach that one person who says maybe I need help with my compulsive gambling addiction. I cannot get into someone else's brain and I cannot force anyone into treatment. I can only share my experience with them and hope it resonates within.

I am willing to speak to anyone at anytime about this insidious addiction because life is not meant to be lived in a casino, racetrack, on the internet, or where ever the dance of gambling takes someone. Life is meant to be lived with a positive person in a caring loving manner with a Higher Power guiding each move. The lure of gambling is the big win but for the compulsive gambler there is never a big enough win to satisfy. What is enough for a compulsive gambler? Well, for me nothing was ever enough when I was gambling. Now enough for me is to NOT gamble today and it has been 402 days since my last wager and life has gotten better.