Has anyone ever played the telephone game when they were younger? If I remember correctly; one person tells another person something and they tell another person and so on. By the time it reaches the last person the message is completely distorted. Well; I guess the same can be said when one person reads something and misses a key word but tells another person and insists it is fact; the end result is the same; the message has been completely distorted.
Things like this will continue to happen forever because we are all human beings and human beings are prone to make mistakes. Does this make the person bad? No, it makes the person a person not an Android. If we were all Androids then the world would be a very dull place. I for one think this is a fascinating world we live in; mistakes and all. I have said all along it is how I respond to my mistakes that will define me as a person. Yes, I made many mistakes and I take full responsibility for those mistakes and I will continue doing everything in my power to work my recovery to the best of my ability to ensure those mistakes never happen again.
As I went over the sentencing memorandum with my attorney's assistant (by the way I really like her because she appears to listen to me fully; sometimes I get the impression my attorney is not really listening to me he is off somewhere else but I guess that happens) the statement of deterrence came up a few times. The prosecution and the probation officer have made very good points in stating; I should receive a sentence of state prison as a deterrent to others from committing similar type crimes. This appears to be a standard statement because I think I read it in five different reports.
When I was in the throws of my compulsive gambling addiction I wasn't thinking of the consequences of my actions I was thinking of how I was going to get to my next bet. I wasn't thinking of what I was doing to my family or my career or my co-workers or my friends. All I cared about was the next game and whether or not I would have enough money to have action on that next game. It is an insidious addiction and made me do things I would never have considered doing. This does not relieve of me of any consequences nor does it lessen what I have done. I did those things and now I will face the consequences of those actions next week.
I do believe that what I have done in the past 13 1/2 months has helped to save my life and hopefully touched the lives of some others. I am a compulsive gambler in recovery and I will be a compulsive gambler in recovery to the day I die which I hope isn't for a very long time. I know there is something greater than me my Higher Power that is guiding me through this each and every day. I am not alone in this battle with compulsive gambling because I have tried to do it on my own and failed miserably. I don't have to do it alone and I am not doing it alone; as long as I adhere to the principles of the Gamblers Anonymous Program, have my Higher Power guide me, have my family by my side and be surrounded by such wonderful people I will make it and be a much better person.
It looks like there will be one other newspaper interview before the sentencing date. The other local newspaper wants to do an interview with me next week and hopefully this article will come out just like the past article and help someone seek treatment for their compulsive gambling addiction. I am happy to report that two people that I know of sought treatment and continue to seek treatment for their compulsive gambling addiction because of the previous article. They honestly answered the twenty questions in the article and found a GA meeting. I hope they stick with the Program because their lives like my life will be forever changed for the positive and they will become the person they are destined to be.
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