Filed

What a fantastic day today has been. It started like any other morning has started in the past 13 1/2 months with my son coming into our bedroom and greeting us with his big beautiful smile; and then he crawls into bed and snuggles next to me. Life really can not get better than this!!! This small five year old boy is amazing and I am blessed to be part of his life. After getting the children off to school I normally and today was no exception go to the gym for my daily workout.

I have had a cold for the past 3 1/2 weeks which is certainly not normal and if anyone wants to know what stress does to a person I can tell them. I usually have a cold for 3 to 5 days and it goes away. This cold has grabbed a hold of me and won't let go. I broke down last week and went to the doctor and they told me I have a cold, gee great diagnosis!! They told me my lungs were better than any other healthy person and were not filling up with fluid even though it feels that way to me and I have this cough which comes from chest that won't stop. I also feel as if my head is going to explode because it is so congested.

The doctor gave me the "super" antibiotic but also gave me a caveat telling me that if what I have is viral there is NOTHING she could prescribe it will go away on its own merit. Well I guess I have the viral strand of the cold because even after taking the "super" antibiotic I feel a little better but my head and my cough still bother me a great deal. Okay that is enough of me feeling sorry for myself. I have a cold that won't go away it is not the end of the world.

Where was I; oh yes, I went to the gym in spite of my cold and I have been hoping to sweat it out but after my workout my head feels worse than before but me having my addictive personality and knowing I have only a few days left I had to have my workout. I made it through the workout and then went to my daughter's classroom where I have been volunteering for the past few months. I take a station and today the children were playing a time telling game.

It really was fascinating because some kids really understand how to tell time and other kids seem to struggle. I spent forty-five minutes in the classroom and that forty-five minutes went so fast. Also; the look on my daughter's face as I entered the classroom was priceless. She always greats me with her big beautiful smile and I am so blessed to have two wonderful children.

After the classroom I went off the local treatment center to have the interview with the reporter from the other newspaper. It was an interesting interview because this reporter has been following my case since the inception and she asked very poignant questions. I told her about my compulsive gambling and what I have been doing in the past 13 1/2 months in my recovery. She really seemed to understand what I was saying and added some very encouraging words.

She did ask me a very difficult question which was "Do you (meaning me) think you DESERVE to go to prison?" I told her that this was a very tough question and I had to think about for awhile. My answer to her was "in our society when people commit crimes there are consequences and some of the consequences are prison so based on what I did I guess I DESERVE to go to prison". I have thought long and hard about this answer because there are so many things I wanted to say in my defense as to why I shouldn't go to prison but I DID commit a crime and criminals are punished by going to jail.

I have done some wonderful things in the past 13 1/2 months since committing those crimes and will continue doing those things so I can continue to recover from my compulsive gambling addiction no matter what happens on Friday. Do the things I have done in the past 13 1/2 months mitigate a prison sentence of my crimes; I don't know and it is up to the Judge to decide. I do know I am so very happy to have made the decision to get help for my addiction and share my story with anyone that maybe interested so they can get help for their addiction. I do have a purpose in life and my purpose is to continue to help myself and anyone else who may need it. I am so very grateful to have been given this purpose by my Higher Power because life has so much more meaning now than it has ever had and each day is a blessing.

After completing the interview with the reporter I immediately went to my attorney's office to put the finishing touches on the sentencing memorandum. The sentencing memorandum is almost 30 pages in response to a page and half memorandum from the prosecutor. I asked my attorney if he ever had a sentencing memorandum that large and he said he had not because he never had a client have enough information to put in the file until me.

I was proud of the fact that I had this much information to put into the sentencing memorandum. Whether it makes a difference in the judge's point of view I guess I will find out Friday afternoon but the purpose of me doing all that I have done in the past year was not to get out of prison it was to help myself with my compulsive gambling addiction and ensure (to the best of my ability) this type of behavior NEVER happens again. I do know as long as I continue doing those things in the sentencing memo that horrible behavior will stay in the past.

Now the sentencing memorandum is filed with the judge and he has two and half days to read it. I pray to God he does read it and I believe he will because he has been a judge for a long time and would want all the necessary information to render his decision. I have done all that I can do. Now it is up to the one person the Judge to tell me whether I belong in prison or receive probation for my actions. I do know whatever he does say on Friday afternoon this horrible ordeal of not knowing will be over and my new life will officially begin.