Everyone is a Victim

When I first saw the official complaint filed against me last year there were two things that struck me; the first was seeing the "People of California" officially filing charges against me in the Superior Court of Riverside County. I did not realize at the time I had wronged the "People of California" subsequently I realized I have. The second item was seeing my ex-employer labeled the "victim". Of course they were the victim because I stole from them but I when I first saw this in print I had a hard time wrapping my arms around this term.

As I have progressed through these past 14 months I do realize that my actions have some incredible consequences and one is being held responsible for those actions by the "People of California". Also; as I have moved through this period and started my recovery from compulsive gambling I do realize there are so many more "victims" of my actions other than the only one stated in the formal complaint.

The list of victims is long and unfortunately or fortunately the first one on the list starts with me. By neglecting my compulsive gambling addiction I became a victim of my own actions. I am not taking a poor as me stance I am stating a truth; I certainly regret my actions but at the time my compulsive gambling addiction took over my thought processes. This by no means lessens my responsiblity for those actions in fact I take full responsibility for those actions. After myself comes my ex-employer I victimized them (obviously) by my actions and thus made them a victim of my crime. Also; on this list is my dear wife who had no idea I was leading this secret life; I have altered her future but I thank God each and everyday for her unbelievable love and support. My children were victimized by my actions because their lives have been turned upside and their seemingly peaceful existence has been forever altered.

My immediate family such as my mother, father, mother-in-law, sisters, and in-laws have been victimized by my actions because I put each one of these people in a situation they did not need to be in. Also; the countless lists of friends and ex-co-workers who lives have been rearranged by my actions.

All of my actions are in the past and I don't mean to dwell there but I read an article earlier today about employers who have been victimized by embezzlement. The article struck a chord with me because it was about a controller with Goodwill Industries. You know Goodwill Industries; it is where you donate your used clothing and other goods that will be sent to charity or sold so the profits can go to charity. This woman was a 27 year employee who embezzled over $500,000 to fund her compulsive gambling habit.

What struck me about the article was how it was written with the employer in mind and how the employer was dealing with the theft. There really was no formal mention about how destructive compulsive gambling can be. Here we have a woman in her 60's who has been a long standing employee and for all intents and purposes she was well liked and trusted. I would guess she didn't wake up one day and say hey I going to steal from the company I have worked for over 20 years just for the Hell of it. I can only speak for myself but I can fully testify to the power of this addiction and how it makes seemingly normal law abiding citizens do sinister things.

I did those sinister things because I had to place the next bet much like this lady. The article states she played dime slots but what the article fails to mention that those dime slots act like $5 machines because the maximum play on those machines is five dollars every time you pull the lever. It is not like she lost a half a million dollars one dime at a time; she got addicted to gambling and thought she could "borrow" from the company for a short period of time and then pay the company back but I know in my circumstance there is not enough money for me to get even because I would gamble with abandon and without thought of the consequences until everything was gone.

I do realize the article was trying to make a point about those who have been victimized but I believe the author could have gone into greater detail about compulsive gambling. The poor lady and in fact the poor employer were victimized by this horrible addiction. This is a perfect but rather unfortunate example of what this addiction can do to people.

I know people are responsible for their own actions; however; as we as a society see more and more of these crimes there has to be something done about it. I know gambling in all forms is here to stay but the education and awareness component is definitely lacking. The old saying of why didn't you just stop should be a saying of the past. If we look at the real reasons for these crimes then we can start to realize the magnitude of this addiction.

I do know as the Judge stated 9 days ago; not all compulsive gamblers commit crimes and thank God or our society would be completely upside down but MANY compulsive gamblers do commit crimes. Those that do commit crimes are not bad people but people with a very BAD addiction. Do they belong in jail? If you look at it in black and white; they just like me committed a crime and with crime comes punishment; in today's society punishment is in the form of jail.

However; I believe it was President John F. Kennedy who did not view life in black and white and in fact there are so many shades of gray. He stated people with a mental illness should not be punished but should be helped to become law abiding citizens. I believe it was President Kennedy who instilled all the mental health assistance laws we have in our society. I know we are getting further away from this in our conservative society but if we continue to lock up the sick people then there will be no one left.