New Day Same Concept

It has been a little over 24 hours since I was surprisingly released back into society and knowing full well I will be incarcerated in the next five weeks I feel so much better than I did yesterday afternoon. I have so much love and support in my life and the Judge's words nor the Deputy District Attorney's words change this one bit. The people who supported me yesterday at the court hearing are even more (I didn't think this to be possible but it is!) supportive than they were yesterday. I received so many telephone calls and emails from so many different people but the message was the same; we know you are doing all the right things and please continue doing those things in order to work your recovery to the best of your ability. These are incredible people and no matter how I spend the next few years I know I am a blessed person.

Last night I had the unexpected pleasure of surprising my daughter and seeing her take part in her elementary school talent show. She was so excited to see me because as I walked her to school earlier that morning she knew we wouldn't see each other for awhile but I picked her up from a neighbor's house and she instantly jumped into my arms. She asked what I was doing here and I told her my departure was delayed for another month and she gave me a big bright beautiful smile then we were off to her talent show. She and a friend did a very good dance to the Cha Cha Slide. They were so cute dressed in their jeans, matching sky blue shirts and sun glasses. They were the first one's to perform and as they performed all that had transpired in the courtroom seemingly faded into a distant memory.

My family is the world to me and I know everything will be fine even though I won't be with them for a few years. My wife is an incredible person and will do her best to keep some type of normalcy in the my children's lives when I am away. I will be back sooner as opposed to later and yes, life will be different but as long as we are all together it doesn't matter where we live what matter is that we live with each other and experience each day with a positive purpose.

I woke up a little early this morning (4:00 am) and laid in bed contemplating my situation. There isn't a great deal I can do at this point to change the inevitable so I much concentrate on doing all the things that have helped me recover to this point. This does not stop because of what people said in that courtroom. My recovery is the utmost important to me because everything goes away if I resort back to my old ways which means I lose everything near and dear to me including my friends, family and my life. Even though I would not be a part of normal society for a few years I will do everything in my power to ensure these positive methods are a part of my daily activities. Without these positive methods life ceases to exist.

I had a few unexpected pleasures this morning one was attending my daughter's soccer game where she played goalie and allowed no goals. The entire family including my mother-in-law, mother, sister, brother-in-law, nephew and niece were able to attend as well. After my daughter's soccer game I went directly to the Saturday morning Gamblers Anonymous meeting to see my very dear friends. I was a little late and I can tell when I entered the room a few members were relieved to see me. I did tell a fellow member I would be late because that is part of the accountability in the Program; I didn't want anyone to worry about me but nonetheless everyone was very happy to see me. We had a great meeting and yes, there was even a new member.

This addiction/disease doesn't take a day off it continues to effect people 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Even though there is very little public awareness of how compulsive gambling effects people the disease never stops. I know full well what an unchecked addiction can do to a person but I must be diligent each and every day to work my recovery to the best of my ability or this addiction will rear its ugly head again.

I was so very happy to attend the meeting this morning and see all the great people and thank them for their support not only yesterday but each and everyday. Again, these are fantastic people and each one gave me a hug and warm wishes. One member told me something so very special I had tears in my eyes. I know what I have done is wrong and the justice system seems intent on punishing me but I know what I have done in these past 13 1/2 months is right. I fully intend to continue on this right path for the rest of my life as long as I work the Program.

After the meeting I went home and said; good-bye to my sister and her family. I am blessed in so many ways and I am so very happy my sister came out to show her support. She has an incredible husband and two fabulous children. I messed up in a big way but my family has stayed with me every step of the way and for this I am forever grateful.

This afternoon I was able to attend my son's soccer game and spend more time with my mother who also has showed her tremendous support. I have caused this woman so much unnecessary stress in this past year yet she has also been right by my side this whole way. She is a great woman and I love her dearly.

Yes, today was a new day but my concepts haven't changed in spite of what was said in that courtroom yesterday. I have been given five weeks to enjoy my family and friends; also continue to build on the solid foundation I have gained through the GA Program. Yes, I am going away but I wouldn't change anything in this past year because it has saved my life.

Finally, there were two articles if you haven't seen them yet. The first one was part of the interview I did a few days ago prior to the sentencing. Yes, I agreed with the Judge as I wrote a few days ago; I committed a crime and in today's society when people commit crime they are sent away as a form of punishment. Here is the first article. The second article was written by a very nice reporter who interviewed me after the sentencing. I thought the article to be very fair and represented all sides. Here is the second article.