Step Seven

The days are winding down and yes, I will always appreciate my one day at a time perspective on life. Today is all I have and I must enjoy all today has to offer and not dwell on the past or project in the future. I do embrace this philosophy but I wouldn't be completely honest if I didn't address the fact that my faith will be decided in ten days. I am a bit anxious but I won't accelerate anything. I am in the process of tying up all loose ends and I meet with my attorney's assistant tomorrow to put the final touches on the sentencing memorandum.

At first I was a bit put off that my attorney was not handling the sentencing memorandum himself but as I spoke with his assistant I became more and more comfortable. She appears to be a very capable person and I know she will do a great job. We meet tomorrow to go over a few points and then the memo gets sent to the judge for his review.

There is a great deal of substance in this memorandum but I know none of it can change what I have done. I did what I did and must face the consequences of those actions. I believe I have done all that I can do to ensure this horrible episode never ever happens again by seeking treatment and embracing my recovery from compulsive gambling. Whether this has a bearing on the sentence who knows but I do know it has helped me tremendously and will continue to help me the rest of my life.

I received official news about the pending job offer at the Las Vegas Recovery Center and I should be receiving an offer letter in two days. This will also be part of my sentencing memorandum and again I have no idea how this will be viewed in the court's eyes but I do know it has made me feel so good to know there are people in this world who are genuinely willing to give me a second chance.

On to Step Seven of the Gamblers Anonymous Recovery Program; Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. In Step Four I listed my shortcomings, in Step Five I admitted to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs and in Step Six I was ready to have these defects of character removed. Now in Step Seven I am asking my Higher Power (God) to remove these shortcomings. I am not the one with the power my Higher Power is the one with the power and I need assistance in removing these shortcomings.

All of my life I tried unsuccessfully to address these shortcomings and continued to fail. Now I definitely need help and my Higher Power will guide me through this Step and rid me of all my shortcomings. I must continue to be honest with my Higher Power and I must ASK my Higher Power to remove these shortcomings. If I do not ask I will not receive but if I do ask then I shall receive and the truth will set me free. I must humble myself and seek help from my Higher Power or I am destined to repeat my mistakes of the past. I don't want to EVER go down that road again which is why my Higher Power will rid me of these horrible shortcomings.

I am not afraid to ask for help because I am powerless to this addiction and I cannot do this myself. I do not have to do this myself but I do need to participate. It doesn't have to be difficult because my Higher Power will guide me to the correct path. I will NOT repeat those shortcomings of my past because my Higher Power will help me remove them. This Step requires an action of asking for help and my Higher Power has been with me in so many ways that I am not afraid to seek help. Life is so much better knowing I don't have to do this alone and having a Higher Power by my side gives me the strength to continue on the road to recovery.

In the past my coping mechanism was gambling but not any more. Compulsive gambling is a learned inadequate response to life. I have learned through the Gamblers Anonymous Program and my Higher Power that life is so much better WITHOUT gambling and I no longer rely on that crutch. This crutch has been tossed aside by my Higher Power and I am able to walk on my own with my Higher Power leading the way. This Step is very empowering because those mistakes of the past will stay in the past as long as I maintain my recovery which means following the principles of the Gamblers Anonymous Program each and every day of my life.