Step Six

Before getting into Step Six of the Gamblers Anonymous Recovery Program I would like to add something to yesterday's post regarding my last Intergroup meeting. The best thing about going to Intergroup is the hour drive down and the hour drive back. I get to spend two solid hours with friends in the Program. Although we couldn't be more different in our backgrounds, our age range and even our gambling types we are so similar because gambling took over our lives and controlled us, now we are trying to get our lives back by working the Gamblers Anonymous Program to the best of our ability. I am so blessed to have these wonderful friends in my life.

If someone told me I would be driving an hour south to attend a "business" meeting for Gamblers Anonymous with three perfect strangers over one year ago and I would love it. I would have told that person they are crazy but the truth of the matter is the hour ride down and hour ride back is the fastest time I have ever spent in a car because the conversation is fascinating. I learn more about myself and others in this little time because I not only hear what everyone says I listen and take it all in.

Which brings me to another point; tonight was our Wednesday Evening Gamblers Anonymous Speaker's Meeting. These meetings are incredible because it gives one person 30 minutes to share their experience, strength and hope in their personal battle to recover from the addiction of compulsive gambling. Each one of the speakers have been incredible and I have taken away something from each person. Tonight was no exception because even though the person speaking is someone I consider a very good friend the words that were used hit right home with me.

There was no blame, there were no excuses it was just a realization that this person is and will always be a compulsive gambler just like myself. It is an acceptance of the illness and this person has arrested their illness with such dignity and elegance. I am so blessed to call this person a friend. The amazing thing about these speakers meetings is everyone is so different but we are all the same which is we are all human and humans make mistakes. It is how we atone for these mistakes that sets the course for our life and tonight's speaker is a role model for the Program and I look forward to continue to learn from this person. I am so very happy we have implemented these meetings because it is another integral part of my learning and recovery process.

Now on to Step Six of the Gamblers Anonymous Recovery Program; Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed. If I go back to Step Four I took my moral and financial inventory. I gathered these defects together and as a refresher these defects were; selfishness, false pride (ego), laziness, lying, cheating, stealing and self-deception. I know my compulsion to gamble has led to serious defects of character which will be difficult to break. I recognize temptations lie ahead. It is one thing to recognize my wrongs of the past, but it is another matter to prepare to leave them behind for good. I must be ready to do the hard work of change.

In this Step I must be ready to have these defects of character removed. It is a Step that sees the present and the future rather than looking at the past. I have gathered these defects over the course of my lifetime and I won't be rid of them overnight. It is a gradual process and I must be aware of these defects each and everyday. In this Step I am asked to be ready to have these defects removed. It is a step process I will actually rid myself of these defects in the next step; Step Seven.

I am being made aware of the seriousness of my defects and what destruction lies ahead if I do not recognize them. I certainly don't want to ever repeat my mistakes of the past which is why I must look at the present. I also must be constantly aware of these defects or all of this diligent effort is for nothing. I am constantly looking at myself to ensure these defects do not rear their ugly head. When I was gambling all I cared about was the next bet and little else. Caring about the next lead me to lying, cheating, stealing and other horrible behaviors.

Not worrying about the next bet and looking deep down into myself at these defects leads me to positive behaviors; honesty, humility and optimism. I like having these types of personality traits in my life and I will constantly work this Step each and every day so I do not go back to that horrible behavior. Life has renewed itself and it is due to my Higher Power, my family, my friends and the Gamblers Anonymous Program. I have been blessed with a second chance and I will do everything in my power and with my Higher Power guiding me I know I will succeed.