Days are Numbered

As we prepare for our cross country move on Friday the days are numbered for us in Southern California. There is still more packing to be had; however; we took a break this evening to join our new dear friends for dinner. Also; I attended the Monday Gamblers Anonymous meeting and as always is the case I am so happy I made it. We had two new members and for this meeting to have two new members is saying something. We started this meeting back in February and it has struggled; maybe it is the starting time 5:00 pm but for whatever reason we have averaged around 7 people for the past few months.

There seems to be a contingent of certain people who seem to support all the meetings in our area and this may have been a good thing when we had 4 meetings per week but now we have 6 meetings (everyday except for Friday) per week. Now that we have six meetings per week it has gotten increasingly difficult for those great members to support all the meetings; it really is too difficult to attend all the meetings. Monday's meeting seems to have been a casualty because those members have stopped attending this meeting. I have no blame for those who have stopped attending this meeting because the GA Program is an individual Program and what works best for each individual is dependent on that individual.

Today as I stated previously two new members attended and even though there were only 7 people (our average) in attendance I believe it is a very good sign that help is available any day of the week in our area. Also; when a new member is in attendance it always reminds me why I am in the Program. The pain, sadness and suffering in a new members voice makes me remember all the pain, sadness and suffering my compulsive gambling has caused in my life. I don't want to ever go back to that life and I know by practicing the principles of the Program in my daily affairs I don't have to live that way ever again.

I do hope and pray these two new members find the help they were seeking and join the fellowship. GA is an awesome Program and I have witnessed some incredible miracles in others and myself in the short time I have been in the Program. I hope these two new members stick around to experience some of those miracles themselves. GA is truly a special Program and something I am grateful for each and everyday.

Right before the GA meeting I stopped by my attorney's office to pick-up a report. I had no idea the report was coming nor had I known what the report was all about. There is only one unresolved item left in my case which is how much rightful ownership I have in a house I own with a partner. Even though I am on the deed as 50% owner there seems to be some confusion as to my rightful claim. I could go on and on about certain possibilities and my opinion but it would do no good to anyone. This report seemed to refute my ownership claim but it was not a deposition or sworn statement it was just someone talking to someone else about what they knew. I have no idea where this is going so I called my attorney and unfortunately he also has no idea where it is going as well.

I do want my case to be over so I can start serving my time; however; this one unresolved issue has kept me from starting my sentence for the past few months. I have experienced some wonderful things in those months and I will experience more as July 12th approaches; however; I do want to ensure July 12th will be it and as it looks right now I don't know if that will be the case. I will meet with my attorney before we leave for New Jersey on Friday and hopefully I will have a better indication as to where I stand and if I don't so be it. I cannot worry or concern myself with these things because these are the consequences I have brought on myself and unfortunately others. I know some day this will come to an end and life will return to a new normal without all of the uncertainty but until that time I will keep saying the Serenity Prayer each and every day.

This evening we joined our very dear friends for dinner. They were kind enough to invite us over and have dinner. We had a great time and I am forever grateful for my situation because had I not been allowed this time to recover from my compulsive gambling addiction I wouldn't have had the pleasure of meeting these two wonderful thoughtful giving people. I have been blessed by so many new friends through this horrible situation and I am forever thankful and grateful for each and everyone of them. My life took a 180 degree turn some fifteen and half months ago but that turn has been for the good and I know my life is now headed in the proper direction.