Happy Father's Day 2006

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there and especially to my dear father. First off; I hope my Dad had a great day. I know in the past year some of the old wounds between my dad and I have been reopened and I can only apologize for those terrible things I have done. I know it will take a long time to make the proper amends to my Dad (if possible) but I do know I have stopped that bad behavior.

I have stopped that bad behavior because of my Recovery Program thanks to Gamblers Anonymous. I do know I cannot waver from my Recovery because those bad behaviors will come up once again. I love my Dad dearly and it hurts me to hear the pain in his voice all of which I have caused. Hopefully, as long as I continue my recovery things will continue to get better. Happy Father's Day Dad, I love you.

This weekend has been wonderful. It started off on Friday by picking up a friend from the airport. Normally, picking someone up from the airport is not anything special considering the airport is over one hour away without traffic and with traffic an hour and half. However; on Friday I was honored to pick up my friend from the airport because he was coming back from a very unexpected trip. Someone near and dear to my friend had died suddenly so my friend had to scramble and make reservations. I told my friend if they needed someone to pick them up from the airport I would be happy to help. I was happy to help and even though it took us a long time to get home; I am honored to have such a good friend.

You see; this friend is not a new friend but is not an old friend. This is someone who knew me before all my horrible actions became known and this person had only known me for two years prior to this. I guess what I am trying to say is this friend knows me solely from me living in Southern California and knows what happened yet has stood by me this entire time.

My friend treated me for lunch as we got back from the airport and their departing words touched my heart; "I am really going to miss you." Even though I have known this person a short time through a terrible period they are still my friend. This takes courage on their part and many others have long since departed. I don't blame any of my other friends for departing after my horrible acts became public because for many of them it would be career suicide. However; this dear friend doesn't care about career suicide they genuinely care about me. I am touched and blessed by all the wonderful people I have in my life and I am forever grateful.

Yesterday after my Saturday morning Gamblers Anonymous meeting I moved some fifty odd boxes to one of my newer and very dear friend's garage. Even though I have only known this friend a little over one year they have done so many wonderful things for me and my family. Our connection is the GA Program but we've had a very strong friendship from the beginning. This person has been an integral part of my recovery and without this person I know my recovery would have suffered. Thank you so very much for all that you have done and thank you for being a great friend to not only me but my family.

This morning I was awaken by a homemade card right next to my alarm clock. The card read; "Happy Father's Day.... look on the computer." I immediately went to the computer where I found another card which read; "Happy Father's Day..... look in the living room." I immediately went to the living room where I found yet another card which read; "Happy Father's Day..... look in the kitchen." I immediately went to the kitchen where I saw my daughter waiting to surprise me and when she saw me she said; "Happy Father's Day" with a great big smile on her face. She then gave me the final (homemade) card which read; "Happy Father's Day.... to the best Dad ever.... love, Lauren and Jonathan (my children, of course)." I couldn't ask for a better start to the day. My daughter was waiting for me since 6:00 am because she didn't want to miss me. Thank goodness she didn't have to wait too long; I got downstairs at 7:30 am. I have a great family and I am forever grateful.

My only wish for today's father's day was to watch the U.S. Open Golf Championship. In fact; this seems always to be my request. Even though we needed to get more boxes over to our other dear friend's garage; my wife allowed me to watch the Golf Championship in peace. I watched the match with my son on my lap; it really couldn't get any better than that.

The U.S. Open was a bit of a disaster for any of you who watched it because it wasn't as if anyone won the tournament (even though Geoff Oglivy from Australia did win) it was as if the winner didn't perform worse than anyone else. It was sad to see the American hero Phil Mickelson lose in such a horrible fashion. The only thing I can say is; Phil Mickelson believed in himself and he tried his best but today his best wasn't good enough. I know he will be back because he is a great golfer.

After the golf match I moved the remainder of the boxes to our other friend's garage. We appear to be in decent shape for the move on Thursday. Most of the boxes have been moved to our friend's garages and the furniture will be moved into a storage facility come Thursday.

Today my wife sold our family room set which thankfully will not be making the return trip to New Jersey. This was the last piece of furniture which came out with my wife and I from New Jersey some 12 1/2 years ago. In fact my grandmother had gotten me the set when I graduated from college in 1987 some 19 years ago. I was happy to see it finally go.

Speaking of selling things; our garage sale rather my wife's garage sale was a smashing success yesterday in spite of my pessimistic attitude. We had a great deal of "crap" and I do mean "crap"!! As I purveyed the "crap" at 7:00 am I remarked (smartly as usual!) to my wife we aren't going to sell any of this. She replied; "one person's garbage is another's treasure." I dismissed this but a few short minutes later when all the people started showing up and buying our "crap" I was amazed. One person bought almost $100 worth of "crap" and I couldn't believe my eyes. I was totally wrong (as usual) and my wife was completely correct. We got rid of 95% of what we wanted to sell and the other 5% was given away for free. What I thought to be garbage sure turned out to be a treasure for some other folks.

This evening I did miss the Sunday night Gamblers Anonymous meeting because of wanting to spend as much time as I can with my family and making sure all of the boxes have been moved. I do love this meeting just like I love the other four I attend on a regular basis; however; this meeting is special because it was the second GA meeting I ever attended. I believe the second meeting (for me) is the toughest to attend and at that second meeting I felt that there was something very special going on inside that room and I wanted to stick around to experience it. I have experienced something very special in the past fifteen and half months and I am so happy I stuck around.

I know my GA meetings are dwindling in numbers as I approach my sentencing date; however; I do know there will be at least one other Sunday GA meeting I will attend before sentencing. My wife and I fly back from New Jersey a few days before the sentencing date and I will be able to attend a few GA meetings before I go "away". I do know my going "away" will be temporary and I will be back to attending GA meetings somewhere. I am not sure where I will be because there are many uncertainties as to where my family and I will live. However; I do know one certainty; I need to be involved in GA wherever I reside because this Program has given me my life back and made it is so much better in so many different ways. I want and need to be a part of the Program because as long as I follow this Program my life will continue to be blessed and get better each and every day.