One More Week, Hopefully?

This morning started just like any other morning in the past month with the exception of a new weekend relief kitchen supervisor. It seems as though everyone has changed over in the kitchen including the state workers. This morning was a test of patience and thankfully it wasn’t with any of the inmates, it was with the kitchen supervisor. Negativity was all around him and any suggestion I had was met with a very prompt “No”. I don’t usually question anyone in authority especially in here and I was not about to start this morning. My first suggestion was in regard to the tortillas and how we should take out the packages and place them on cookie sheets for easier service on the line. I was met with “This is a waste of time, we don’t need to do that.” When I heard this, I thought most of us have a great deal of time, so it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I bit my tongue and said, “Okay.”

As it turned out after one quarter of the first line service was completed, the guys working the food service line couldn’t get the tortillas out of the package fast enough, so they had to place them on the cookie sheets anyway. When I saw this happening, I smiled to myself and walked away. My second negative encounter was when I told the supervisor we needed more pots. Again, I was met with a negative response, “We don’t need more pots, there are enough.” Yes, the pots did run out and I had to get more, but I did this without the knowledge of the kitchen supervisor.

Those were two “I told you so” moments, but I let it go because it would have done no good. I was given the satisfaction knowing I was doing and saying the right things. Even when someone is negative, I try to stay positive, especially here. With the exception of today, the kitchen supervisor has been very nice to me. I do have this need to be liked, but as my days tick by, this need has changed to one of getting my time done without any issues. For the most part, many of the inmates do like me which is fine; however, with the exception of the “normal inmate”, I wouldn’t invite any of these guys over to my house. Don’t get me wrong, they have been very nice and respectful to me and I certainly appreciate this; however, outside the gates is a completely different story.

I do enjoy the kitchen because I can go off into my own little world while I am mixing the hot cereals. Yes, people come up to me and start talking. Sixty percent of the time when I am left alone I can “zone out”. This morning was a perfect example of this because the kitchen supervisor was in front of the ovens with the other oven worker. I was in the back by myself with the cracked wheat which by the way is not available in grocery stores, but you can find it in your local “feed” store! Apparently, it is used to feed horses. (Maybe this is why I like it) I stood there and mixed 64 pans of cracked wheat into 31 six inch pots. I have gotten quite good with a whisk and can’t wait to make pancakes for my family. I have the ability to not think about anything while I am doing this. This is much like when I am exercising and my mind only focuses on the exercise and nothing else. While mixing the cracked wheat, I only concentrate on that and nothing else. It is great to “zone out” in a place like this especially when I am being productive. This “zoning out” process makes the days go by much faster and with all the “other” distractions, this morning flew by.

I wanted the time to fly today because there were a few things to look forward to. Today was “Yard Day” and we didn’t get out on Monday due to dense fog. The correction officers like to see the inmates when they are out and about in the yard and I am all for that. I was looking forward to getting out today to do some running and it was a perfect day for it. Temperatures were in the low 70’s, sunny skies, and low humidity. Also, on Yard Fridays, I get to enjoy being outside the entire time from 11:30 – 1:30 while on Monday, I lose a half hour because I don’t get back to the dormitory until 9:30 am and we are let out into the yard at 9:00 am. I went back to the dorm at 9:45 this morning which gave me plenty of time to rest before going outside. I changed my clothes, laid down for a bit, and then it was time to go outside. I took two steps outside the door when the CO in the tower called out “Yard Recall”.

This means that all inmates let out in the yard must return back to the dorm immediately. I was only two steps out so it took me two seconds to get back into the dorm. “Yard recall” happens for a number of reasons: fights, fights, and more fights. However, no one was fighting this morning because no one was outside. When we did get inside, we were instructed to get to our bunks for an emergency count which meant someone was missing from somewhere. In this particular yard, there are over 1200 inmates and occasionally one or two or three inmates wander off. This is obviously a problem for the CO’s and thus they called for an emergency count. Everyone in my dorm was accounted for and I have no idea if anyone else on this yard was missing. I guess this was the reason for the “yard recall” and unfortunately we didn’t get a chance to go outside at a later time.

I truly missed the opportunity to zone out while running that I was looking forward to so I could pass the time. I wanted to keep my mind off the “transpack list” that was to come out later today. When I came inside, I took a shower (thankfully, it is still hot) and afterward I started a letter. It took me all afternoon to compose the five pages because my mind was pre-occupied. I kept thinking about the list and the more I thought about it, the more I realized it is just too soon to be on it. I struggled with the letter and usually this correspondence goes quickly, but not today. In fact, I had to apologize for my scattered thoughts.

This afternoon did not drag as I thought it would and the next thing I knew, it was 5:00 pm. Much to my surprise, my neighbor (the good one) was preparing the transpack list in his bunk for the CO. He knew my anxiety and quickly but thoroughly checked. No, I was not on the list and there were only two people going to the Fire camp in Susanville and one to Jamestown. This means I have to at least wait for one more week. This is fine because as I mentioned, it is too soon since I just saw my counselor last week. Also, according to him, I was not supposed to be seen for another few weeks. I believe my wife’s telephone call expedited the process and I should be leaving here in the next one to three weeks.

There were 26 names on the list which is a very large number and out of those 26 names exactly half are first time offenders or at the very least repeat offenders on a new beef. That means a person had committed a crime previously but had been subsequently discharged from their parole. Now they have committed a new crime and given a new number. The statistic that is very popular these days is 70% of the California inmates placed on parole return to prison. That is truly a staggering statistic! Based on my observation, this is certainly the case.

No, I wasn’t on the list this week, but sometime soon I will be on it and moving to my next destination. I am looking forward to moving on and maybe I was hoping against hope that this would be the week. However, my past experience should have taught me nothing comes easy or on time for that matter. I need to expect the delays because there have been nothing but delays in my case. The one saving grace is that the “normal inmate” was also not on the transpack list so at least I have someone to commiserate with and tonight at dinner I tried to cheer him up. He was expecting to be on it because he saw his counselor 3 ½ weeks after arriving at the reception center whereas it took me twice that time. Also, he arrived here three days after me and in one week, he will hit the two-month mark. It really isn’t too bad compared to some other inmates who are still waiting after 4 and 5 months. It truly is a state of mind. I will close with a wonderful quote my mother sent me. The quote is from Lou Holtz, the same Lou Holtz who coached the New York Jets and Notre Dame. The quote is as follows – “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”. How very wise this is!