Sunday - Sunday

After my day, off I was ready to start yet another work week in the kitchen. Sunday is a very easy day for the ovens and it was a good way to ease back. Today also marked yet another new kitchen supervisor because the previous one is on vacation. I had reported earlier that the new supervisor was a little difficult to get along with so I was anxiously awaiting a new arrival.

The menu is always the same on Sundays: fried eggs (ugh!), tater-tots and sausage links. Thank goodness there is cold cereal and toast on the menu or I would have nothing to eat. This is my least favorite day of the week because of the lack of hot cereal. The drill has been the same every Sunday; place the tater-tots on a pan and place the sausages in a pot cover with water and place in the oven. No mess, no fuss and very little clean-up. The only issue for me is the smell of the eggs. As I walked into the kitchen as I do everyday that I work, I turn on the ovens, take the items out of the freezer and organize the heating of the items. This morning the kitchen supervisor pulled me aside and asked me a question regarding the Ramadan (yes, the prison system acknowledges these inmates who celebrate Ramadan in the Muslim Religion – Ramadan is a 30 day celebration where the followers fast from sunrise to sunset) breakfast and lunches. (I am not sure why they provide lunches because a practice of Ramadan cannot have lunch, maybe these are used as late night smacks?) At first I was slightly taken aback when I was asked the question. First, I though it was unusual because of the things I had heard about this kitchen supervisor and she was being very nice. Secondly, I was wondering why she thought I was the one “in-charge” of the ovens. I did not say a word to give her the impression maybe it was my yellow jumpsuit which stands out from the inmates orange clothing? Anyhow, I told her usually the kitchen supervisor handles the Ramadan lunches and breakfasts. I did help her find them and bag them so she could get the breakfasts off to the dormitories before the sun rose. As I mentioned the kitchen supervisor was very nice and I was pleasantly surprised.

I finished helping with the Ramadan meals and went back to organizing the food for breakfast. I needed a few pots and pans from next door in the central kitchen so I called the supervisor. Again, she was extremely nice and took me next door to retrieve the pots and pans. Now I was very curious because the supervisor wasn’t acting the way I thought she would be. As I was retrieving the pots and pans we had a little conversation - a very nice conversation - and I learned she was not the supervisor I referred to last week. She is a floater and was just filling in today and we should have someone different tomorrow, most likely the one which is not so nice. I did enjoy working with this fine woman and I told her I hoped she would come back tomorrow. She said, thank you but didn’t believe she would return.

It is amazing how the attitude of one person can affect an entire staff. The more positive the better and the more negative the worse. I know from my recovery I can only change my behavior and can only “accept” the behavior of others, which is why I try to maintain a positive attitude. On the flip side the behavior, especially attitudes of others can influence many people in positive and negative ways. Today was an example of how a positive attitude works so much better than a negative one. Tomorrow should be very interesting with yet another kitchen supervisor and we have four items which will be prepared in the ovens. This will be a first and presents quite a challenge.

My life has come down to looking forward to having four items prepared in a prison oven, oh my! Also, Sunday marks the end of the week for the menu in the kitchen and a new menu for the upcoming week is posted. I always look at the upcoming menu to plan my week, how sad! Speaking of sad, on this week’s menu is the pizza and pasta dinner which hasn’t been on the menu for at least six weeks. This is Saturday night and I am counting down the days, very sad! I am even thinking about working the dinner shift on this night so I can get an extra soggy piece of pizza. It sure is time to move to the next stop.

Yesterday, I was in a little funk for half of the day. I was mildly depressed because I have to wait at least one more week to see if I get transferred. Yes, Yes, I know there is nothing I can do about it but I still have emotions. These emotions are sometimes difficult to control because after all I am a human being and we humans feel things. Yesterday, I was feeling sad because it means one more week (at least) of waiting to finally make that telephone call to my family. With everything, the hardest part here at the reception center is not having verbal contact with the outside world especially my family. Also, I cannot receive visits while at the reception center. I understand if I am here more than 90 days (I certainly hope not!) I can get telephone privileges and receive visitors but in so many ways I hope and pray I am no longer here to receive these privileges.

My depression lifted as I wrote several letters to my dear family and wonderful friends. It is amazing how putting pen to paper helps clear my head. When I stop and think about my surroundings I get very depressed which thankfully does not happen often. Yesterday this happened and once I started writing, these feelings went away and my mood was lifted. I am forever grateful for my family and friends because they help keep me sane in a place like this. The love and support is truly amazing and I am so grateful.

After returning from work today I was sitting n my bunk writing (what else) when I heard a heated discussion a few bunks down. I continued to write but the discussion got louder and louder. The two inmates (which by the way were the same race which is good in a situation like this) were just about coming to blows, in fact one pushed the other but thankfully the other inmate did not push back. The altercation lasted a few minutes and some other inmates stepped in. As they were arguing I thought to myself just like I thought yesterday with the altercation over the brown paper bags that this altercation has got to be over something very dumb. In my opinion all altercations/fights are over something dumb no matter where I have been; inside or outside of prison. When the altercation was over I found out it was about eggs. Yes, eggs and how one inmate did not get their allotted share. On Sundays one of the cooks (not me, I don’t want to get involved) brings back the grand slam (eggs, potatoes, sausages and toast) breakfast to a few of the “key” inmates. Apparently today one of the “key” inmates was left out and got very offended and voiced his concerns very loudly.

Most of the altercations in prison are over food or the television, not exactly noble causes. It is fascinating watching how people deal with these not so smart incidents. I really shouldn’t be too critical but these are people over the age of 35 and should know better. Thankfully, yesterday and today at least one person each day did know better and didn’t escalate the confrontation into a brawl! I would like to say cooler heads prevailed but it was only one person in the party who thought much better of it. Today, someone stepped in and saved both inmates a regrettable moment.

I am sure there will be more of these incidents in the next 21 months no matter where I reside. In fact, I have heard fire camps filled with younger inmates who have something to prove. Chances are good that there will be altercations at the next destination and the most likely won’t be cooler heads to prevail. My key will remain the same as it has been which is to be safe and stay strong. I am doing a fairly good job so far and as long as I can continue my writing everything will be fine.

Prison has some very peculiar rules and thankfully the dormitory (“old man”) which I reside doesn’t seem to abide by these rules. There are some hardcore inmates who take the prison experience very seriously and adhere to all the “traditions”. It is interesting to listen to (it is actually eaves dropping because these folks don’t talk to me although they do show respect) them speak because their expectations are very different than mine. Hopefully, my mindset will never even venture to this thought process, however, it is a reality of my situation and I must respect it. I can disagree with it (to myself only) but I have to honor it which I do. This situation is only temporary and will pass soon enough. The key is to be with my three favorite people in one piece and sooner as opposed to later.