Oh - The Weekends

Effective yesterday, I was pretty much confined to my bunk. The only times I ventured outside were to breakfast and dinner. As I mentioned previously our morning yard was cancelled due to the “bunk placement inspection”. Last night I had all the intentions of going outside for the evening yard in hopes of placing a telephone call to my mother. The scheduled time I had was 7:15 which is not the best time even though evening yard is supposed to open at 7:00 pm. The truth of the matter is evening yard opens most of the time past 7:30 pm. I was hoping it would open on time because our tier did not have morning yard while the upper tier did. We went to dinner early enough and everyone seemed to be back in their dorms before 7:00 pm. Well, it just wasn’t meant to be because a little before 7:00 pm there was some type of commotion/search on one of the dorms on the far end of the yard. This delayed the yard opening until 7:45 – so much for my telephone call. I certainly have come to terms with these events which are completely out of my control. I can only hope and when those hopes are dashed I must accept it and move on. Sure it is frustrating, but there is nothing I can do about it. I was thinking about going outside and attempting to sign up for a telephone call on Monday evening but I thought better of it and stayed inside.

Today I was given a week’s worth of local Sacramento newspapers and was very content in reading them. I caught up on all the current events all the way up to December 1. This was only the day before yesterday which is a first. The newspapers are passed from dorm to dorm along race lines and sometimes articles and sections are ripped out. For some reason the newspaper never contains the Entertainment Section – I guess someone keeps this section – and most of the overcrowding prison articles are torn off. Other than that the newspaper is somewhat in tact and it is nice to catch up on the outside world. It was a good way to spend my evening after writing the entire afternoon.

Dinner last night was one of those off nights. The main entrée was Chicken ala King over pasta noodles. Of course I received the pasta but not the chicken. Unfortunately, I was given the normal amount of pasta and the standard two tubes of peanut butter. I took the carrots and mixed them in with the pasta to make my own dish. I wasn’t very hungry last night probably due to the fact that I didn’t do anything other than sit on my butt and read and write. The small amount of food was fine and I knew I had some snacks waiting for me in the locker later on. I gave away my iced cake because I could smell the sugar oozing out from it. This is something I don’t quite understand. In our lunch is a sugar-free drink mix which is also served at dinner. The “store” only sells sugar free lemonade and sugar free fruit punch. However, the lunches contain sugar cookies, the dinners have sugar laced cakes and the “store” sells sugar sodas. I just don’t understand the inconsistencies and I’m sure I maybe the only one with the problem. If they want to eliminate refined sugars they should eliminate all the refined sugars – not go only half way – I guess it is just me! People do like sitting next to me because they can guarantee themselves a piece of cake.

I snacked on some tortillas I received in the package which are one of my guilty pleasures. It had been awhile since I had these types of chips and I could feel the grease on my face. Yeah, I know I have a problem and I am trying to deal with it. I also made a peanut butter sandwich later on in the evening mostly out of boredom – not hunger but I could always use the extra calories. I stayed up until 11:00 pm listening to the radio with my new headphones. These are much better than the ear buds I received with the CD player, it does make a difference. I just wasn’t tired enough last night as I normally am. I realize I need some type of physical activity everyday if it is only walking on my non-exercising days. I don’t just like to lie in bed and not fall asleep because my mind does tend to wander. Of course, I gazed at the pictures of my family above my bunk for a really long time. I was wondering what they were doing – which was hopefully sleeping – and how they are doing. This once a week telephone call may not be enough and I need to figure out a way how as to mix in another call. We had another new instructor start this week (my seniority keeps rising) and I noticed he asked the lead instructor if he could sign up for a telephone call while the PFT class was underway. The lead instructor assured him it was no problem. However, for me this is very difficult to do because I want to stay focused on my job and signing up for the telephone call takes away the entire class. Maybe this is part of my obsessive compulsiveness and I do need to seek balance, but right now it is very difficult to sign up for a phone call unless it is a special occasion like my wife’s birthday. I will make sure to do everything in my power that I do call my wife but as always there are those many things which are out of my control which may prevent me from making the phone call.

Hopefully, (I seem to do a great deal of hoping?) I will be able to sign up for a telephone call so I can call my wife on Tuesday afternoon. The morning yard is open right now and if all goes well I should be outside this afternoon. I will do some running today because the weather is much warmer with temperatures in the low 60’s and an abundance of sunshine. I haven’t made up my mind how far I would like to run but I do need to take it somewhat easy because this will be a very full week with the regular PFT class going all five days along with the twice a day PFT Plus class. I will need my energy all week. Obviously, I am looking forward to it because these weekends are the most difficult time of the week due to the idle time which is not good for me. As I write it not only passes the time but helps clear my mind.

Last night I sat in my bunk thinking about my family and how it won’t be for a long time until I get to be with them. Of course, this is my mind playing tricks on me because I know the time will pass soon enough. However, sometimes I do think about how soon is soon enough? Technically, if I were released yesterday it would not be soon enough but I can’t think this way. I must do my time with grace and dignity. I know my family will be there and this makes it all the worthwhile. They are doing well and I know they will continue to do so over the next year. I do want to accelerate my time from here and get to a fire camp so I will know my exact release date. The longer I stay here the longer I am away from my family. I need to expedite my medical examinations so I know where I stand. Unfortunately, all I can do is request and wait. It would be nice to have all this cleared up by the end of this month and this maybe wishful thinking.

I do like my program and how fast the days are going by but the question mark of fire camp is gnawing at me. I would like to have definite answer as to whether or not I will be allowed to go. If for some reason it is no then I will deal with it, but for now I firmly believe I will be sent to a fire camp in the next 3 to 4 months, No matter what happens I will stay positive because everything does happen for a reason.