Rained Out

Each day when I wake up I look forward to going outside especially during my work week. There is one dramatic drawback regarding my job which is at the mercy of the weather. When it rains, all the classes are cancelled. Today as I woke up I saw the rain and it was supposed to continue all morning. So I needed a Plan B because my regular routine was about to be disrupted. I knew I had to come up with something else otherwise it would be a very long day.

When I went to breakfast I was looking forward to the coffee cake which was supposed to be served today. However, much to my dismay, instead of the coffee cake, there was cheese Danish. Along with the Danish was oatmeal, prunes, and a boiled egg. I traded away the egg and the Danish for more oatmeal. I also gave away the stewed prunes because the last time I ate them I discovered several pits and stems in them. I prefer my prunes not to crunch when I am eating them. This goes back to my “texture” issue with food because once a “texture” is breached while I am eating any food, it takes me a long time to go back to eating that item.

Once I got to the dorm it was apparent that I would not be working today because of the rain so I decided to turn this Wednesday into a weekend day. My choices are very simple as I stay inside – I could either write or read. I decided to do both. I read a few chapters of the Harry Potter book – which is not unlike the others. Afterward, I did some writing which took up most of the morning. It was now noon and still raining so I decided to take a shower. I am a very peculiar person when it comes to taking a shower – in case you have not noticed. I prefer to take a shower on an empty stomach and don’t like eating prior to the shower. (typist’s note – weird weird werd!~!~!~!)

A quick aside – the running shoes that I gave away to the inmate who received a purchase in my name are not in his possession anymore. I saw him on the yard today and asked, “How come I never see you wearing the running shoes.” He hesitated after I asked him this. Then I said, “Did you lose them in a bet?”

He sheepishly said, “Yeah.”

Talk about irony! He knows my story but apparently it had no effect on him whatsoever. I gave him a wry smile and went into a very short discussion on how he should stop gambling because it certainly leads to no good. I sensed he wanted to move on quickly so I let him off the hook. As he departed, I thought about the incredible irony in all of this. Today marks the 27th month since my last bet and thank God I have this time and don’t plan on making a bet today. In fact, thanks to my recovery I have no urges whatsoever to make a wager, and there is not one positive event attached to me making a bet, it truly is “all bad.” I cannot control others and would love to help everyone, but I have to focus on my own recovery primarily because if not - then I am nothing.

After lunch, I read the Harry Potter book which in my opinion does not read as easily as
the James Patterson’s novels. I needed to take a break from reading to give my eyes time to rest so I watched my neighbor play chess. I cannot remember the last time I played. I remember learning from my grandfather when I was 8 or 9 years old. My neighbor keeps asking me to play and I keep on declining. Even though he doesn’t gamble on the outcome of the game and does play for fun, it goes against the Gamblers Anonymous definition of gambling. I will keep on declining and I will be fine.

Surprisingly, the entire day went rather quickly. The mail came and I received four pieces of mail – two from my mom and two from some very dear friends. In the letters from my friends were articles which referred to the same event of the Las Vegas Marathon which I ran this time last year. I found these articles fascinating. My mom sent me a package for Christmas – actually it was a manila envelope – but package sounds better. However, it came two days after Christmas. In the package were crossword puzzles and word searches which were meant to keep me busy on Christmas – my mom is so thoughtful. Now I will use it on New Year’s Day. She also sent many articles ranging from miscellaneous topics (one I would rather not repeat!) to the overcrowding in the California.Prison System. I shared this with my dorm mates which was a big hit. I will believe the early release of inmates only if I am released but not before. If something does happen, it won’t be until July 2007 for political reasons. The inmates who have done considerable stretches of time, have heard these rumors for a very long time and so far nothing has happened. It would certainly be wonderful to end my sentence before July 17, 2008 which would happen with fire camp. However, any further reductions must not deter me from reality. I will get through my sentence the same way I have gotten through these last 5 ½ months which is one day a t a time.

When I woke up this morning, it was a crystal clear day and I found the North Star and instantly thought of my daughter and the story she told me about it and a big smile came across my face. The night before I received a ducat to see the yard nurse so I could talk to her about getting more protein drinks. This conflicted again with the PFT class. Before my appointment I had a very good conversation with one of my fellow inmates about recovery. He’s only a few years older than me and has been in prison for well over 15 years with a few more to go. He has a drug addiction and belongs to a religious recovery group. He seems to be at peace with himself and the more we talked the more I realized how similar my recovery is to his.

On the way to the appointment, I need to mention the many unpublished drawbacks of prison life which is the waiting time for the simple tasks such as visiting the nurse, medical office, and going to the store. There is a great deal of wasted time waiting for these services which is a direct result of the overcrowding. When I finally got into see her I explained my situation regarding the protein drinks and how I would like to increase the frequency. She seemed very hesitant at first to grant my request. In fact, she said to me, “I can’t seem to find where the doctor prescribed these drinks for you in your file.” I quickly glanced down at the file and instantly saw the doctor’s notations on the front page where he prescribed them. I pointed this out to her where she replied, “Oh.” All I wanted was one more protein drink but there seemed to be many obstacles in the way. She wrote up the request and told me to check back later at the pill call line to see if the doctor updated the information. The Catch 22 of this is that the pill call line has not had any protein drinks since last Wednesday.

As I left the nurse’s office, I did 30 minutes on the Harvard Wall. I gazed up at the deep blue sky with the sun shining so brightly. Today was the clearest day I have witnessed since I arrived here. It was a remarkable transformation from the rainy day before.