Bright and Crisp

Yesterday was a very bright and crisp afternoon and thankfully the wind had died down. I did a new combination of exercises and it was a very productive afternoon. There really is no place for me to hide anywhere especially when I am outside in the yard exercising. Three different inmates came over to me and asked me questions. On the weekends I wear normal workout clothing not the PFT Instructor uniform but this does not seem to matter because practically all of the inmates know that I am an instructor. All of the questions were exercise related to passing the PFT class. One inmate who is in the current class asked me to help him with some exercises and running. I really have a hard time saying no when it comes to these requests and I did tell him I would help. He was very grateful and thanked me. Another inmate asked me how he can get his “wind” – another word for stamina – up so he can run effectively during class. I gave him my answer but it appeared he was looking for more of a shortcut answer. Unfortunately, there aren’t any shortcuts to building up stamina and my answer did not sit well with him. However, I did notice a few minutes after we spoke he was doing the things I told him to do. Now all he has to do is stay consistent and work hard each day – this will help his stamina.

It was a very good afternoon and I even had hotter water than usual when I took a shower. There were very few inmates on the yard today probably due to the cold weather. And, there is a new CO who provides more than the usual 45 minutes past the hour unlock. This is a welcomed change because now if I miss the unlock by a minute I don’t have to wait until 4 o’clock. I entered the dorm a bit sweaty and a few of my dorm mates had some comments, such as “Don’t you ever rest?” “You are like the energizer bunny because you keep going and going.” “You better slow down because you are going to wear yourself out.” All of these comments were said with a smile and none were meant in disrespect. I figure I certainly have the time to get into even better shape so why not take advantage of the situation. The alternatives to not exercising are limited to laying around, watching television, reading and writing.

There are low points during the day but I prefer not to dwell on them. I do get homesick for my family on a daily basis especially on the weekends but I try to keep my mind occupied most of the days which help tremendously. Only when I am working out does my mind not wander; it is when I have down time I continuously think of my family. It’s impossible to turn my mind off and frankly I don’t want to stop thinking about them ever. I love them and will continue to miss them for as long as I am away and there is no getting around it. I won’t let myself get down when I think of them which is why I think about how wonderful it will be when my family and I are together again.

I took inventory of my food locker since I will be going to the “store” in two weeks. I am still pretty much stocked with all my food items except I am running low on the oatmeal cookies. I need to figure out what to order. I could be one of the few inmates who don’t need to go to the store this month because it seems all the other inmates run out of all their food a week after purchasing it. I have been the “soup bank” for my dorm mates because now I am lending the soups out on a daily basis. I have been paid back so far by everyone. All my dorm mates know I have a locker full of my food because there are no secrets in here. There are two things that are non-existent inside this prison and they are secrets and privacy. Everyone knows everyone’s business. So now the bank of soups is open for business and I don’t even charge interest.

I don’t know what it is but the CO’s who work late on Friday and Saturday nights really enjoy making their presence know. Once again, I was awakened every two hours starting from 11:00 pm. They were not only taking down the prohibited “bunk curtains” but they were taking down any clothes which were hanging. I think around 3:00 am they seemed to announce they needed to see us in our bunks and we needed to ensure we were visible to them. At this point they took down my neighbor’s clothes but not mine. Then at 5:00 am they took down my clothes even though I had ensured they could see me. Apparently my socks and boxers were blocking their view because these were taken down. This is one of the many powerless moments I have had over the past 6 months. There is absolutely nothing I can do and I must accept these moments with an open mind. Sure it is a pain to be awakened every 2 hours and have clothes thrown on me at 5:00 am but there is nothing I can do except keep my mouth shut and know that this is temporary. It seems this only happens on the weekend because all the other times there doesn’t seem to be any issues. Oh, well – I will ensure there is nothing hanging on the clothesline prior to going to sleep. This does not ensure me that I won’t be awakened in the middle of the night, but it does guarantee me that at least I won’t have any clothes thrown on me while I sleep.

After the 5:00 am clothes throwing episode, I laid in my bunk cooling my heels for another two hours. I had no where to go and I didn’t want to get out of my bunk angry so I stared at the pictures of my family and thought good things about them. This seemed to calm me down and the slight anger I had subsided. I can only speak for myself and not my fellow inmates but I certainly don’t care for being woken (is that a word because it looks funny?) up several times a night and I certainly don’t care for having underwear and socks thrown on me in the middle of the night. Presumably this inconvenience will stay confined to the weekend because if it were every night I would be one tired individual.

This morning was yard and keeping with my moderation theme I decided not to do a long run. I was toying with the idea of not exercising but I am not at that level yet and besides it was a beautiful morning. It was a quick workout and I felt invigorated after it was completed. This provided a very good start to my day and did clear my head from the episodes of the previous evening. I am so grateful I can exercise and I am slowly learning that I don’t have to exercise for 6 hours in order to reap the benefits. My short workout this morning gave me the necessary boost I needed to put me in a positive frame of mind which stayed with me throughout the day.