Waiting List

As we started the PFT class we agreed who would take what rotation and who would do the run. I decided to do it which is only 2 laps and the 3rd rotation. As I was completing the first lap an announcement came over the loudspeaker which stated “yard recall”. This was very unusual because it meant the afternoon yard was closed even though it had only been open for 20 minutes. This was more unusual because normally the alarm would have sounded and then the yard would have been recalled. However, yesterday afternoon there was only the announcement. I really wasn’t into the PFT class yesterday and I had finished all my exercising earlier so I didn’t mind having the yard close this early. Sometimes my timing is very good and the fact that I had completed all of my personal exercising prior to the yard closure was a very good move on my part. My plan prior to the yard closure was getting protein drinks and not eating anything until dinner which I was looking forward to because they were having pasta marinara and pizza – my favorite meal. However, I have learned to be flexible over the past 6 months and came up with an alternative plan. Also, I had time to write the one outstanding letter I needed to compose yesterday afternoon instead of this upcoming weekend.

I went back inside to shower and do laundry prior to eating the “Elvis” sandwich. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon writing and looking forward to dinner. It truly is a sad state when I am looking forward to overcooked pasta and cardboard pizza. The pizza reminds me of the Jeno brand frozen pizzas my mom bought when I was a kid. I was happy to get to the dining hall and didn’t have to ask for the vegetarian tray since everything was already meat-free. My neighbor gave me a slice of pizza so I had two slices. This was necessary because there were only four spoonfuls of pasta on my tray and everyone else’s. The tray also contained salad, mixed vegetables, Italian white beans and applesauce cake which I ate because it really wasn’t that sweet. I was able to eat everything for the first time since the last time this meal was served which was quite a while ago.

Last night was an evening yard and when I arrived back at the dorm I finished up the letter I started earlier in order for it to be mailed out this morning. I completed the letter and a dorm mate stopped by my bunk to tell me something. He saw the other dorm mate giving me his slice of pizza at dinner. He gave me some non-threatening advice which was regarding the “prison rules”. Apparently I forgot one of the fundamental rules while taking this slice of pizza. It was from a dorm mate who is not of the same race as me and this race is not an “affiliate” race of the one I belong to. I completely forgot about this because these rules don’t apply while inside the dorm. However, they do apply outside the dorm especially in the dining hall. I thanked my dorm mate for the wise reminder and hopefully I will remember the “rule” when I am in the dining hall. The upside to this is no one else has said anything so it may not be an issue. Hopefully, it will not be an issue but you never know especially in a place like this. I did drop my guard down because I have become comfortable. I must be mindful that no matter how comfortable I become I am still in prison and must abide by the rules. I am guessing I have been given one free pass and I cannot make a habit of this behavior or my safety would be in jeopardy. Once again my goal is to get out of this place in one piece and following the rules does help accomplish this.

Sad but true I have adjusted very well to my surroundings over the past 6 months. I have found my niche and have established a very good routine which has helped me to be strong both physically and mentally. I have not felt my safety being threatened since I left the County Jail and even though I made this faux pas last night in the dining hall I still do feel safe. With this stated I must stay vigilant and alert at all times. After all no matter how I slice it (no pun intended) this is still prison. I have become my own person over these past 6 months – however my key concern is staying safe so I will keep my guard up at all times.

The evening yard opened and it was time for the quasi-power walk with my friend and a telephone call to my mother. I was able to connect and I discovered the 15 minutes was actually 13 minutes of speaking time. It takes a minute plus to connect. My mother is extremely efficient during these telephone calls because she talks really fast and has a list of items she needs to discuss. I believe we got through the entire list and unfortunately most of my mom’s questions I had already answered in previous blogs. However, these blogs have not arrived as of yet even though they were sent over 10 days ago. I hope they’re only delayed and not lost because I am not sure if I can recreate these blogs from memory. I am sure they will arrive soon but mail does get lost especially coming out of an institution such as this one. Every piece of inbound and outbound mail is searched for paraphernalia. I don’t believe each letter is read because it would seem to me this would be a daunting task for the prison officials to perform and would also delay the mail for a very long time.

We talked about many subjects and things appear well with my mom. It is always good to speak with her and although we covered a great deal I could have used another 15 minutes to wrap up any loose ends. All the news I received was very positive and I am so happy my mom is a part of my family’s life. This very bad situation has turned out to be good in many different ways and having my family close to their grandmothers has turned out very well. One day (this may take more than a day) I will sit down and compose a list of all the people I am eternally grateful to and my mom would be way up on this list. She is a great person and I miss her very much.

The telephone call ended and I felt great. My “friend” and I continued our power walk for another 5 miles. This power walking session is also training for my “friend” as he will embark on the PFT class in a few weeks and he keeps thanking me for walking with him. He has this backwards because I should thank him since he is the one keeping me company as we walk because without him I would be walking alone and have no one to talk to. I look forward to our in depth conversations. These walks with my friend allow me to converse at a very comfortable level.

The other night as I went into the dorm when the evening yard closed I was encountered by a CO who I have not seen before and as I was going into the dorm he told me I had to send my gloves home. I asked why and he said because they are not authorized for this institution. I was not about to get into a discussion about this and just said “Ok” as I went inside. I received my gloves in a package which was inspected by one of the CO’s in the receiving area of the R&R department back in December. I have heard rumblings in the past few weeks that CO’s are confiscating gloves because the warden believes it does not get cold enough to warrant wearing gloves and inmates would only use them for nefarious acts. The temperature has been 22 degrees and the only pockets I have are in my denim jacket which has no lining. I understand the need for rules and following orders especially in here. I would like to see a memo from the warden detailing the reason for this. If I have to send them home, I will but I won’t be happy about it. Yes, this is another event completely out of control which I will accept. As a side note – all of the CO’s wear gloves, wool hats, and scarves.

A little before 5:00 am I woke up to the sound of a CO shaking the bunk 2 down from mine. This dorm mate had draped 2 sheets over his bunk and he was not visible to the CO. He tried to wake this dorm mate up by yelling and shaking the bunk. The odd part about this was this dorm mate was not in his bunk, he was in the bathroom. The shaking and yelling not only woke me but just about everyone else in the dorm. I am not sure why some of my dorm mates place the tent over their bunks which shield them from the CO’s when they know full well they have stated over and over again not to do this or they will be wakened. The fact that this dorm mate was in the bathroom does not excuse him because he should have taken the sheets down when he left. I normally wake up around 5:00 but I prefer to wake up on my own rather than with a big commotion. This is yet another reminder that my life is in the hands of others and it really is not a good feeling but it is part of my punishment.

After breakfast I finished THE POISONED ROSE by D. Daniel Judson. I did mention it is a short book which was good because the storyline was anything but happy. The book sort of reminded me of the movie LEAVING LAS VEGAS which had a rough storyline. This novel was okay but the message was very dark. Most books I have read do have happy endings so this was certainly a change of pace but I didn’t feel very good after reading it. The title was very appropriate and prophetic.

There were two lists posted on the wall near the basketball court. I made my way over and discovered these were “wait lists” for both the PFT and FFT classes. I looked at the PFT class and noticed my name for the first time since arriving here some 3 months ago. This meant I had officially been placed in the PFT pool of inmates. This also meant my counselor did exactly what he said he would do. I was not on the FFT list because I am waiting for the final paperwork issue of what is called a “gate pass.” According to my counselor it is being processed and should be complete in a few weeks. This is fine because it is a one step at a time process and the first step has already been complete. I should be enrolled in the next PFT class as a student / instructor which starts next Tuesday. The timing of completing this class and having my gate pass completed could work out very well. The PFT class will conclude on February 2nd and my gate pass should be complete by then which would allow me minimal wait time before starting the FFT class. Conceivably I could be completed with all the necessary training in order to get to fire camp by the third week of February and placed in a Fire Camp by the end March. Of course this is in a perfect world and so far my world has been anything but perfect; however, it does mean I am getting closer to fire camp which means I am getting closer to my family.