Six Months Already!

The PFT class yesterday morning ran long especially including the post class instructor meeting with the coach who spends 15 minutes just saying hello, but he is a great guy. As I was waiting for the afternoon class the temperature dropped some 15 degrees and the wind was whipping right through me. All of the instructors arrived at the basketball court and for the first time in almost 2 months of being an instructor, no one showed up for the afternoon PFT class probably because of the cold and the wind.

After the cancelled class I stood in line for the protein drinks. No matter my spot in line, it still takes 30 minutes to get the drinks. They are rather good cold and most times when they are given to me they are room temperature which is not so good since I have to drink both cans at the window. I have a hard time getting the drinks down, but I did manage.

While I was waiting I learned more about the inmate who ripped down the television during President Bush’s speech on Wednesday night. Apparently, the TV’s exploded as well when they were ripped from their brackets. This produced a very loud noise and the inmates thought someone was shot. It only took them a few seconds to realize what happened. Everyone in line was having a very good laugh regarding these events and fortunately no one was injured. It appears President Bush has a very far reaching effect on people in so many different places.

I wasn’t going to include this but I need to share. While I was sitting on my bunk writing, one of my dorm mates who attends early dinner had come back and was watching television while everyone else was in the dining hall. He came back into the bunk area and announced to the three of us who stayed behind that Barry Bonds – the baseball player was caught using METHamphetimines – the emphasis was on the METH. I had heard the report on the news this morning but I understood it to be amphetamines not METH which is a difference. When he said this I wanted to correct him and did say something but he didn’t hear me so I just let it go. Now I understand how rumors start. The fact that Barry Bonds tested positive is a big story because amphetamines are banned by baseball and Mr. Bonds tried to blame one of his teammates. Had he been caught using meth this would be an even bigger story because it seems to be the drug of choice for many in our society but multi-millionaire baseball players usually don’t fit the criteria. I guess my dorm mate had a difficult time making the distinction between meth and amphetimine use. I found his interpretation of the report fascinating considering many of my fellow inmates are here to do their own meth addiction which is evidenced by the plethora of missing teeth. I guess everyone has their own listening skills and some only hear what they want to hear. If by the way, I am the one who is wrong and it does come to pass that Barry Bonds tested positive for meth I will quickly write a retraction to this passage because God knows I have been wrong before and will be wrong again.

I did notice something about my self this week during the PFT class. I was appointed one of the two team leaders by the lead instructor which meant I was responsible for the instructors on my team. Even though I was appointed leader we are all considered equal. However, there were times I had to inform the instructors on my team to do certain tasks. I tried to do this with as much tact and quiet as I could muster but there are few instructors who very much like doing their own thing. I found myself getting a bit frustrated which was just silly on my part. This is only a temporary journey and the instructor job is temporary, also. There were others before me and there will be others after me and life will go on. I did learn that I am a “bossy” person and do enjoy telling others what they need to do. I have been this way for a long time. However, I have learned what I call “joint delegating” and come up with a joint decision where I don’t come off as being bossy. This works well for now but I have to understand when my time is served and I go out into the real world, I will have others telling me what to do. I certainly understand this and will do what I am told. I am very humbled by what has happened to me and I believe I will continue with humility along with holding my head high. I have made a very big mistake which I am paying for and will continue to pay for. However, I am very blessed in my recovery and know everything is working out for the best.

The class ended and I had a telephone call to my wife. I received a bonus because my daughter was home from school. It’s odd because she has missed more days in the half year she has spent in NJ than she has in 3 years of attending school back in Ca. There must be tougher germs in NJ! She had a little cough but it was great once again to speak with her. She’s a super kid and I miss her so much along with my wife and son. My heart melts when I speak with my daughter and I can’t wait to see her which will hopefully be this summer when they visit me at fire camp. My wife informed me of an unexpected phone call – which was not exactly a positive one. Apparently the wreckage I left behind 6 months ago, today keeps piling up higher and higher. When I was sentenced, I did believe that my case was the end with a new beginning. Unfortunately, there are some formidable hurdles to overcome even when my time has been served. My crime which was financial in nature brings with it not only incarceration but other concerns as well. This call did hit me very hard because I didn’t expect it for a few more years but it appears criminal news travels fast. The fact that my wife is handling these affairs so well does help and I know these matters will work themselves out.

Today marks 6 months since my sentencing date in July and I am very surprised how fast it has gone. This mark signifies 25% of my sentence has been served. Hopefully, I will probably be able to take 5 or 6 months off my two year sentence which means I have 12 or 13 months left to serve. Judging by these 6 months, I expect the remaining time left on my sentence to go even faster. Of course there are many negatives about being away, but at least I am 6 months closer to being with my family. No matter what, the time will go by and it is up to me to make the best of it which I have done and will continue to do. Life does move quickly, but my life has even more meaning now then it has ever has in the past. Life is special and I will continue to make it a very special life.