Looking Ahead

When I completed the 50 lap run yesterday I was doing a short stretching routine out in front of my dorm. I was on the ground stretching out my legs as my friend came around towards the dorm while walking on the track. He saw me on the ground and called out to see if I was okay. He told me he has never seen me lie down on the ground after running and that I was exhausted. I quickly told him I was just stretching but my friend couldn’t help himself to make this into a joking situation. As he saw a few of my dorm members congregating in front of the dorm he proceeded to tell them I collapsed after running and had a great deal of fun at my expense. I was not offended in the least because I knew it was a joke and it did provide some levity. Later on yesterday evening my friend continued with the joke but unlike he did earlier when he demonstrated how I was lying on the ground he just recounted the story. Earlier he did demonstrate but as he got up from the ground he hurt his back a little. I told him that was God’s way of punishing him for making fun of me. All of this was in good fun and without some light moments this would be a very dark place.

The afternoon yesterday was spent inside the dorm as is required when there isn’t afternoon yard for my tier. I certainly prefer the early morning yard so I could get in a good exercise routine in order to relax the rest of the day. This was the case yesterday afternoon. Typically on weekend days when there is morning yard there isn’t a big rush on the showers when the morning yard is over. Most of my dorm mates choose to sleep in (probably invoking their “half-time” rule!) during the morning. Most of my dorm mates were in the television area watching the new movie “Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man’s Chest: on the prison channel. While this movie was airing the dorm was eerily quiet. The quiet was enjoyable at first; I though something was wrong because it was well past quiet time but I discovered everyone was intrigued with the movie.

I completed writing prior to dinner and when dinner time rolled around I was not very hungry. However; I realized that if I didn’t go to the dining hall for dinner I wouldn’t eat anything the rest of the night. I went to the dining hall for the mashed potatoes and lime bean dinner. The portions weren’t very big hat was just as well because I wasn’t very hungry. This was more of a snack than a dinner which did hit the spot for me. Also, I made my “Bunkie” very happy when I gave him the rather large brownie on my tray and he didn’t even have to trade anything back to me in return. I was certainly done eating for the rest of the evening after the dinner snack. It was also evening yard night which was good because it meant I got to get out of the dorm for a few hours. Not only did I get out of the dorm I walked a few miles with my friend and was able to speak with my mother once again.

The telephone call was more productive/efficient than the telephone call from the day before. However; it still whizzed by and I couldn’t believe the time was up as the next group of inmates were fast approaching the telephones. We were able to cover a wide range of topics and my mother did tell me about the birthday party for my daughter and son which took place yesterday. Also, my mother told me about how my brother-in-law took my daughter to a Brownie function. This function was essentially a father/daughter gathering and of course I was sad that I was unable to attend. I was happy that my daughter was able to attend with her uncle. I am so blessed with a wonderful family and it is great to know my daughter is able to experience these things without me. Life most certainly goes on. I do doubt that when my time is served I will be able to attend a father/daughter “Brownie” functions because in one year’s time my daughter would have graduated to Girl Scouts. I most certainly look forward to attending many father/daughter functions including Girl Scouts when I return to my family. I am grateful for recovery which continues to provide me with great tings and I know as long as I work my recovery each day life is better.

We had to wrap up the telephone call in a hurry because my time was up. I felt like I could speak with my mother for hours and this is simply amazing because in the past - out in the free world - our conversations weren’t this good. This journey continues to amaze me because there is so much good that continues to come out of it. We said our goodbyes and I don’t know when the next time I will be speaking with my mother but whenever that is I am looking forward to it. At this point it was time to sign up for the telephone on Tuesday evening. Unfortunately I was not able to secure a sign up slot but there were other options such as my friend and one of his dorm mates who were able to secure slots. Both of them have had difficulty in connecting to their significant others so I should be able to use one of their time slots to call my wife. It is also hard to believe now I have developed a network (so to speak) of inmates who are providing me with options on the telephone sign up and other areas. I would have never guessed that this would happen when I started this journey 7 ½ months ago. I am very fortunate in so many ways.

I was able to venture in to the television area this morning to watch the local news and “Today Show” prior to breakfast. The breakfast was my favorite of pancakes, peanut butter and today the hot cereal was Farina. After breakfast I finished “Countdown” my Iris Johansen which turned out to be an okay novel. It seems as if there was more dialogue than other novels I have read, this did make for a quick read but the tone of the book felt different with so much dialogue. The author did refer to “silver mornings” which rang true with me and I can’t wait for these “silver mornings” when I return to my family. I have already experienced many of these but just didn’t realize it. Now I am fully aware of these and can’t wait to fully embrace each morning one day at a time for a lifetime.