No Doubt This Is Prison

As if there were any doubt in my mind – this is certainly prison after what happened Wednesday night and the ensuing consequences. Fortunately I haven’t been affected by those consequences very much. Yesterday I had to spend all day inside the dorm as all the yards were cancelled. However, this appears to be the extent of my lockdown. Things were going along smoothly, I guess it was too smooth because according to reports I have received something had to happen. It was inevitable. Yes, a very unfortunate incident happened Wednesday evening and these unfortunately do happen every once in awhile in a place like this.

Yesterday was an interesting day even though everyone was remanded to their dorms. Around noon the CO came into the dorm and lead everyone across into the dining hall for a one on one interview regarding the incident on Wednesday evening. In fact, the CO’s were interviewing every inmate on the yard to gain any knowledge regarding that incident. Each of us went to a table where a CO asked 10 questions regarding the incident. My interview took all of 1 minute because I knew nothing of what happened. Judging by the tone of the questions I am guessing the incident had something to do with a drug debt. Each of my answers to the CO’s questions were “no” because I don’t know what happened. The process took all day as they asked these 10 questions to 1400 inmates. The questions were asked in a semi-private area but I sincerely doubt that anyone saw anything. I was thankful I had no knowledge not did I see the incident because if I did it would be a double edge sword. I am not sure if there is anything worse in prison than a snitch. My first and only priority is to my family so I must ensure my safety at all times. Thankfully, I had nothing to say because if I did I probably would still have nothing to say. This may seem contradictory to my recovery which is based on honesty; however, I cannot put myself in jeopardy and I won’t.

The mail has been delayed since the first of the year. On Wednesday I received the February 5th copy of Time Magazine. The very next day – Thursday – I received the January 29th copy of Time Magazine. Presumably the January copy was mailed out prior, yet I received it after the subsequent copy, go figure. There was a very good article in the February 5th edition regarding Super Max Prisons all across the United States.

“Part of the reason we build prisons at all has always been the RETRIBUTIVE urge. Those who do very bad things while they walk among us should lead very hard lives after they have been removed. That makes a lot of EMOTIONAL sense. Whether it makes PRACTICAL sense is something else entirely.”

The three words that were capitalized – retributive – emotional – and practical are the key words in that passage. The old adage “an eye for an eye” started thousands of years ago. It seems that we still have this same sentiment and have not evolved as human beings. Of course, sitting where I sit I have a biased opinion on incarceration but the author of this article makes perfect sense. Is that adage practical or purely emotional? There are so many inmates that surround me everyday who have drug related issues. Are these bad people? Sure, maybe a few but the majority are good people with a bad addiction. Is our society better or worse now that these people are locked away? Yes, there are bad people in this world who should be locked away. However, even these bad people should have a positive existence as they “pay” for their crimes. I don’t have many answers but it seems to me the current policy of locking someone away is not exactly working especially in California which has the worse recidivism rate – 67% - in the country. I wonder which state has the lowest and what does this state do differently than California? I am guessing it probably has more programs for the inmates and hopefully when the overcrowding issues are discussed by the courts later this year there will be a discussion on Programs.

I have been reading the monthly bulletin from GA which one of my dear friends made it possible for me to receive. Part of the bulletin contains letters from members all over the country. One letter caught my eye because it was from a lady who is in the same situation that I am in. She is in a Florida prison for crimes she committed to finance her compulsive gabling addiction. She was able to attend GA meetings while her case made its way through the judicial system and she is forever grateful for that time. The story was eerily similar to my own story and she went on to state how many friends she has made through the program who continue to keep in touch with her in prison. Each day I am truly thankful for having my remarkable GA friends.