Don't Give Up

No matter how bad life seems to get there is ALWAYS something good. No matter how bad the day seems to be there is ALWAYS something good. No matter how terrible a situation seems to be there is ALWAYS something good. The key for me is to keep going and never ever give up. I cannot give up; giving up is giving in and once I give in it is all over. I don't want a repeat performance of my past and there is only one way to ensure the past does not come back to haunt me is to move forward doing the right things.

Thank God there is so much more good in this world than bad which makes my life a joy. The littlest things can bring me down and bring me to place I don't want to be. I must continue to remind myself life is getting better and as long as I move FORWARD one day at a time everything does get better. In fact it already has; I am a much better person today than I was yesterday and certainly a much better person than I was seven plus months ago.

I had a discussion with someone yesterday regarding compulsive gambling in employees within the Gaming Industry. (As a quick aside the powers that be in the "Gambling" industry took it upon themselves 20 years ago to change the term Gambling to "Gaming" for "obvious" reasons which has something to do with the "Entertainment" industry...think about it and you will understand what I am writing about) Sorry for the digression; someone asked me if I noticed that casino employees have a higher propensity to become problem/compulsive gamblers; by the way this person did not know I was a compulsive gambler, we randomly got on the subject. My answer was yes; I did notice that casino employees especially dealers have a higher propensity to become compulsive gamblers. In fact I read a study where this segment of casino employees is 6 times higher than the national average.

I know I can only take inventory for myself and having worked in the "Gaming" Industry for the past 12 years I didn't see myself as a compulsive gambler until 7 1/2 months ago because I denied my addiction. I thought I was so much "smarter" than I was and this lead to my demise because I never looked at myself. I was always looking at others and saying how could they do that to themselves when I was doing the same thing. The addiction to gambling for me was so powerful because I continued to do the things I did as if I had no control. In reality this is the truth; I had no control and let it spiral out of control.

I always thought I was in "control" of every situation and this was an outright LIE. I let this take over my life and now I am taking back my life. The first step in Gamblers Anonymous is to admit we are POWERLESS to gambling and our lives have become unmanageable. Well my life certainly became unmanageable I tried for years to have power over gambling but failed miserably. I finally admitted I am POWERLESS to gambling and life got better. In the second step; I came to believe that a Power greater than me could restore me to a normal way of thinking and living. I was so arrogant for so long that I couldn't believe there was a power greater than me and you know what I was dead WRONG. There is a POWER greater than me and I choose to call this Power God. I could not do this by myself and this POWER is restoring me to a normal way of thinking and living. In the third step; I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this Power of my own understanding. By giving up I took back the power with the assistance of my Higher Power and the fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous.

One of the many ironies in the GA program is giving something up to take back the power. The key for me is to know I CANNOT do this alone and I don't have to do this alone. I tried and failed miserably to do this alone for so many years. I am not living this way any more. With the assistance of my Higher Power, my family and the fellowship of GA I am regaining my life and my soul one day at time. The final key is to never give up and keep going even when things get tough; as I keep moving forward everything does get better and you know what it is certainly worth it.