Thirteen Years

Thirteen years ago today on a beautiful Fall afternoon in New Jersey my wife and I were married. It was the happiest day of my life. In fact everyone came up to me that day and asked me if I had been drinking or if I was "on" something because I had a smile from ear to ear and no I was not drinking nor was I "on" something I was genuinely happy to marry this beautiful woman. The day was perfect considering the day before and the day after it rained very hard. The sky was blue which is a rarity in New Jersey and we couldn't ask for a better day. It is so hard to believe 13 years have passed so quickly and in that time so much has happened.

My wife and I have known each other for 23 years (over half of our lives) and as you can see I took my time to ask this wonderful woman to marry me (10 years!!). We have been through some good times and some bad times. Obviously in my current situation I would classify it as the bad times but these bad times are turning out to be good times because the things I took for granted have a significant meaning to me. My wife is an Angel; I would be truly lost without her. She is kind, giving, has no ego, and genuinely sees the positive in people. How she has put up with me through all of this I will never know but I do appreciate her so very much. She is an outstanding mother and cherishes her role within the family. I know we have grown so much stronger in these past seven months and we are both better people for it.

I convinced this woman 11 years ago to move across country to start a new life. She left her family because she thought she was doing the right thing. Everything was working out fine until I decided to revert back to my old habits. Seven months ago my poor wife didn't know what hit her and I am so very sorry. She has stayed with me despite all of my flaws and character defects and I love her very much. She is a member of Gam-Anon because of what I did to her and the family. She is remarkable because she is unflappable most women wouldn't have put up with my crap and in fact most women would have left by now or killed me. However; my wife sees the good in all things and I guess she sees the good in me and I thank God each and every day for her support because without her my life would have no meaning.

I know both of us are working so hard to get back to so type of normalcy. The normal we once knew will be no more but normal now has a new meaning. This new normal will not be taken for granted because as long as we are all together as a family life is has a sense of purpose.

When I entered Gamblers Anonymous seven plus months ago it was NOT at the request of my wife and I was not doing it for my wife I was doing it for myself. I did this to the family and I need the help. My wife has been so supportive of my recovery and she understands my need to attend as many meetings as possible. Things do get a little hairy in the evening when I am out attending a GA meeting but my wife handles it all with such grace. She really is an amazing person and as each day goes by my love for her grows. Thank you for everything you have done for me and our family; I love you so very much and thank you for 13 wonderful years and I look forward to many many more. Happy Anniversary!!!!