Time

It really is amazing how time moves forward and it moves forward quickly. There is a saying in Gamblers Anonymous that the "days and weeks will be pass soon enough" and this is so very true. When I first entered Gamblers Anonymous seven and half months ago I was very lost and by working the GA Program and the steps involved I am starting to find myself. No matter what happens in life time moves forward. We all make choices in life and some of my choices have been not so good but the choice to enter the Gamblers Anonymous Program was the best decision I have made. By entering and surrendering to the Program my life has gotten much better even though my situation remains unresolved. I am a much better person now than I was seven and half months ago and I have GA, my family and my friends to thank for this.

I got some unexpected good news from my attorney this evening. I don't want to go into the specifics of the good news but I will say it has put my mind at ease. I need to mentally prepare for the future even though I am taking life one day at a time there are some very real consequences I am facing. I had some of this answered this evening. Along those lines I was looking up the California Prison System on-line and I had no idea how crowded this system is. Here is the link to the prison system and I knew it was an overcrowded system but I had no idea how overcrowded it really is. The "least" populated prison is 149.5% filled and the "most" populated prison is 249.4% filled. Everyone thinks as California as the "granola" state where there are many laid back people and really anything goes. But judging by how crowded the prisons are in this state; it shows me it is the opposite of lenient when it comes to incarceration.

Do these statistics show there is a problem with crime in California or is there a problem with the judicial system or is the problem with the prison system? I have no idea where the problem lies but there has to be a problem some where if the prison system in California is this crowded. I always thought California was a "socialist" state when it comes to employment laws and worker rights but it is anything but socialist when it comes to crime.

Can something be done? Probably but it will take time and a great deal of effort. I know I will soon be a part of this prison system because of my actions caused by my compulsive gambling behavior. I would never have imagined this in all of my life. The worst thing that happened to me prior to this ordeal was getting a speeding ticket in Nevada. Hindsight is always 20/20 but the insidious nature of compulsive gambling made me do horrible things and now I know what an idiot I was to ignore all of the symptoms.

Yes, I ignored the symptoms all of my adult life and this is what happened. I am no longer ignoring these symptoms and living my life as it was meant to be lived in God's hands and with a purpose. I do not have any more delusions and I keep learning more and more about myself each and every day. Time does go by no matter what and I choose to participate in my time with honesty and truthfulness. Life is worth living even though I made a large mistake my life is NOT over by any stretch of the imagination it has only just begun.