Gambling Obsession Hurts Entire Family

The following is from the annual conference for the Connecticut Council on Problem Gambling. I do have one question; what is manageable?

Gambling Obsession Hurts Entire Family

Hartford- The lying. The denying. The crying.

Fifty-four-year-old Norwich resident Laura says she is practically a poster child for the way problem gambling can devastate a family. Her second husband beat his addiction to crack cocaine only to develop an obsession with craps, a casino table game.

Laura said his gambling ruined her credit, resulted in their eviction from a Groton apartment and nearly drove her to suicide.

For five or six years, I didn't experience a paycheck or support on a regular basis, she said.
Today she is separated from her husband and in treatment at Bettor Choice, a state program for problem gamblers and their families.

Laura, who uses only her first name in the tradition of the recovery program she attends, was speaking Tuesday at the annual conference of the Connecticut Council on Problem Gambling. The theme this year was gambling's impact on youth and families, and Laura, who said her stepchildren were also harmed, thought it was important to tell her story. As an African-American woman, she is particularly concerned that the message is not reaching the black community.

Laura's husband would put on his work uniform and pretend he was going to work, but would instead go to the casino, she said. Since she worked at her state job during the day, and her husband worked at night, she didn't see the bills coming in or receive phone calls from bill collectors, so she was not aware of the financial hole he was digging. When he finally confessed about his losses, she still didn't understand.

He said, Honey, I'm gambling to pay the bills,' she said. After the eviction and frustrating sessions in court that resulted on one occasion in her paycheck being attached, she concluded that she could not blame herself for his problem and could not enable him to continue. Laura separated from her husband, but all of the residual problems led to depression and, eventually, mental breakdown, she said. One day I could not go to work, she said. My job had to send the police to my house because they were worried.

She checked into a partial mental health hospitalization program at The William W. Backus Hospital. She lived at home but went to the hospital daily.

ÂI did thing is, Idid not gamble, she said. I had to learn how to disengage myself. I had to clean up my credit. I went back to work.

Laura has not divorced her husband, though he is still gambling. She said they still love each other. After she realized that several people in her husband's family and even some of her close relatives have gambling problems, Laura made it her mission to spread awareness. She gave a talk to parents of Norwich Free Academy students recently

What we need to do as a society is become aware of the rippling effects of problem gambling, she said.

The keynote speaker at Tuesday's conference was Dr. Scott Teitelbaum, who had practiced as a pediatrician in Connecticut before he lost his medical license and his family as a result of his drug and sports gambling addictions. Teitelbaum sought treatment, and regained his life and his license to practice medicine. He directs an addiction medicine program at the University of Florida, and on Tuesday met with Connecticut clinicians to talk about ways to help families of problem gamblers and young people.

The state's problem gambling council analyzed Helpline calls from significant others of people with gambling problems for the first time this year, and treatment professionals are analyzing the information and working to develop ways to help families.

Christopher Armentano, director of the state's problem gambling program, stressed the importance of prevention during his afternoon address. He suggested families and recovered gamblers could form an organization similar to Mothers Against Drunk Driving, to carry the message the way MADD has done.

He also called on individuals, the gambling industry and the government to accept responsibility for problem gambling. The state's problem gambling treatment programs are funded, largely, by the casinos, lottery and other gambling providers. He said there has to be a way to help people reduce their obsessive behavior and keep things at a manageable level.

I would like to see that people aren't so in need of hope that Powerball is not the lead on the nightly news, he said.