Ultimate Freedom

The last October celebration has come upon us my where has the month gone?? Happy Anniversary to my sister and her husband. Happy 19th Anniversary!! I hope the two of you had an enjoyable day. It is hard to believe 19 years has passed so quickly. I remember their wedding so clearly as it were yesterday because they were married on the night of the sixth game of the World Series between the New York Mets and Boston Red Sox. If any of you are baseball fans you know what happened in this game and up until last year when the Red Sox won the World Series the city of Boston was cursed. I remember the wedding quite well and I was able to see the famous (or some may say infamous) play which allowed the Mets to continue the World Series where they ultimately won it in 7 games.

Ironically enough I didn't have a bet on the game because I was recovering from my first disaster with compulsive gambling and I as well as my brother-in-law were big New York Mets fans. I would say my brother-in-law is a much bigger Mets fan than I because he is very passionate about his team. I on the other hand have been tainted by my sports gambling behavior and some how lost my fan interest a few years ago. My favorite team used to be whoever covered the pointspread.

I will never forget that night after the wedding my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time), me, and friends of my sister were driving home from the wedding listening to the game on the radio. One of the people in the car was from Boston and I will never forget the look on his face when the baseball went through Bill Buckner's legs and the Mets won the game. The Mets had no business winning the game but it wasn't the Red Sox time to win and this person had such a dumb founded look I will never forget it. Happy Anniversary Denise and Rob!!!

Changing the subject a little; Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist imprisoned by the Nazis in World War II for three years. He wrote a book called Man's Search for Meaning and speaks about man's ULTIMATE FREEDOM, the freedom to choose your ATTITUDE. One quote from this book is all I needed to ring true to me; "WHAT POSSIBLE HELP CAN A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE BE?"

Here is a man who spent 3 years in a Nazi Concentration Camp with death and fear all around him. He could have chosen a negative attitude and no one would blame him for this attitude. He had enough intestinal fortitude to choose a POSITIVE attitude and he SURVIVED the concentration camp. He lived to be 92 years old and his book is filled with wisdom. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be sent to a concentration camp and the fact that this man endured the horrors and unspeakable atrocities is a true test of his power to choose life.

I am in no way comparing my life to living in a concentration life. My life has been filled with ups and downs; with ambivalence and awakenings. Now I realize there is a clear choice to be made and that is to have a positive attitude because having a woe is me attitude and wondering about the what if's and could have and should have will do me no good. I am embracing all of the blessings God has bestowed upon me and living life for the first time with true purpose and meaning. No longer am I a slave to my own demons because I have made the choice to recover and live.

Here is one more quote from Dr. Frankl; "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible." The key in this statement is responsibility and I must maintain this responsibility to myself, my wife and family one day at a time.