Life Sentence

I have learned that being a compulsive gambling is a life sentence. This does not mean I am bound to commit the same mistakes over again nor should I live my life in fear. This means I need the tools to continue living life with a purpose and to NOT give in to my gambling addiction. I thought years ago I could "handle" my compulsive gambling and I was wrong. I cannot do this by myself and I don't have to do this by myself. Upon entering Gambling Anonymous I soon realized I was not alone and I decided to do everything the Program says. I contacted prominent people in the Compulsive Gambling field and wanted to know what they did in they recovery and they all pointed to a common denominator; Gamblers Anonymous.

The Program works if I work it and I chose to work it everyday not only on meeting days. It is a life long commitment and to some people this is too much and they stop coming to meetings. I don't know if they go out and gamble but I do know they are missing something very special. Funny things happen when I stopped gambling I started to understand who I really am. The Gamblers Anonymous Program is very simple; don't gamble for anything but there is another side to the Program. This other side has gotten me in touch with true feelings and has made me an honest person.

Working the Program and the Steps is sort of a cleansing ritual. It is getting out all of the bad and putting in its place good. It is not a one time deal to work the Steps; they are to be worked often and continuously throughout my life. In a little under 8 months I have seen some remarkable changes. Also; it has given me a great base to help me with my current legal situation. Without the Group and my family I would be in a mental institution. I created this mess and I am doing everything in my power to ensure I continue doing all the right things. By doing all the right things and working the Program I will get through this situation a much better person; which has already begun.

The other side to this equation is the disease is always with me. I have heard stories of people having 2, 4, 8, 12 years of abstinence only to start the insanity all over again. There is no guarantee this won't be me but I am doing everything the Program tells me to do and I intend to do this one day at a time. The baffling nature of this disease comes when you feel everything is going okay. I know this has happened to me because I didn't work the Program I tried to do it all by myself when I was younger only with disastrous results. I don't want a repeat performance because if I were to go out and gamble life for me would stop. I wouldn't be in a mental institution I would be in a morgue. My life has just begun and this life is led with a positive purpose which does NOT include gambling.