Best Laid Plans

I’m beginning to think it is a conspiracy against me because it seems anytime I have a telephone call scheduled I can’t seem to place the call. This is different from the other times when I was not allowed out into the yard in the evening. Today as I came back from breakfast I overheard one of my dorm mates mention that there will not be any yard this morning. I have learned a few things since coming to prison almost four months ago and one of those things is not to believe anything another inmate says and to always find out what is the truth by myself. As soon as I heard the no morning yard comment I thought, oh great, another day goes by that I can’t speak with my wife but I still had hope because I had not corroborated this information.

The C/O came over and gave us the unlock from breakfast and as each one of us went back into the dormitory he told us that there won’t be any yard or any inspection today. Apparently inspections occur either on Tuesday or Wednesday weekly depending on the morning yard schedule and today’s inspection has been cancelled until next Tuesday. More importantly than the inspection is not getting out into the yard so I could make the 10:30am telephone call to my wife. Which by the way when I was speaking to my sister yesterday, I did ask her if she could call my wife and tell her I would be calling her at this time so she could be available. Now the time will come and go without me contacting her. Hopefully she won’t be concerned because I did mention to her that there would be times that even though I have a scheduled telephone call I may not be able to actually place that call. I thought this would happen in the evening but I am realizing there are so many variables completely out of my control that I must accept the fact that it will be at least another few days before I try and call my wife.

I certainly don’t like the fact that the yard will be closed this morning because not only does it mess up my telephone call it messes up my workout schedule. I was just getting into a groove and was looking forward to working out this morning. I was extremely surprised when I woke up this morning that my legs were not sore. I had a very solid workout yesterday and I was expecting some soreness but I have very little. I did not plan on running this morning but I wanted to do some upper body exercises. Hopefully I will be able to get out this afternoon when they let the upper tier out into the yard; otherwise I may go into withdrawals from missing a day of exercising. That was a joke and it is quite funny how my first 30 days on this journey while I was in the county jail I did no aerobic exercises at all. Now I am doing it six days a week. Those first 30 days went by so very slowly and now my time is going by much faster. There is something in being active which makes the days go by faster.

Another one of he things I have learned wile in prison is to be flexible in so many different ways. Yes, my plans were very well laid out but due to circumstances way beyond my control I must deviate from those plans. I certainly do not like the fact that my wife is waiting by a telephone for my phone call that will never come and I have no way of reaching her to let her know. Hopefully she does understand and sometime this weekend (God willing) I will be able to actually speak with her. I do feel I am being rude by not calling her and it does bother me no matter how much I accept the fact that it is out of my control. That wonderful serenity prayer sure does come in handy and I believe I have recited it at least a million times so far! I must remember this situation is only temporary and it is much better than not having the opportunity to speak with my wife.

Now my plans for today have changed. I did plan on attending the morning yard session; working out and making my telephone call. This is not going to happen so I have taken this morning (instead of this afternoon) to catch up on my letter writing. On Monday I received 8 pieces of mail from 6 different people and I need to write everyone back. I received a piece of mail dated September 8th which was sent to the reception center and was forwarded to me on Monday. This piece of mail took 2 MONTHS to reach me. It was properly addressed so I have no idea why it took so long to reach me. It was sent from Southern California so it shouldn’t have taken this long but for whatever reason it has. I also know there seems to be a delay on me receiving out of the country mail (sorry Ann!) which takes an inordinate amount of time to reach me. So, if someone has sent me a letter and hasn’t heard back from please be patient because I do respond to everyone and there are circumstances beyond my control at work, sorry.

If it weren’t for writing I would not know what to do on days like today. I guess I could read, watch TV or listen to my CD radio player. I do enjoy reading when I have a good book but because I have read so many books in the past four months I am getting selective with my choices. I did enjoy “Deception Point” by Dan Brown because it moved so quickly almost too quickly. Mr. Brown took the James Patterson approach to 3 to 4 page chapters and for whatever reason the book moved along nicely. This maybe a psychological ploy but I enjoy the small chapters as opposed to the lengthy chapters employed by some authors. “Deception Point” was 735 pages (soft cover version) and in my opinion could have gone on another 200 pages. The back end of the story was wrapped very quickly and in my opinion there was more of a story to tell. Be that as it may the book was good not as good as “DaVinci Code” or “Angels and Demons” but it was a very good read.

I could watch television with the inmates in the TV area (which by the way must be at least 90 degrees in there because even though the temperature outside is approaching 80 degrees the heat hasn’t turned off in a week. It truly feels like a sauna and over the past two days the heat is now permeating the bunk areas of the remaining 32 inmates which include me. Las night with the temperature in the low 50’s outside I sleep without any covers due to the heat) but there selection of morning television shows i.e. Andy Griffin show, Saved by the Bell, and Little House on the Prairie is not something I wish to watch. Then there is my CD Radio player which receives exactly one radio station and I have no CD’s. The radio station does come in quite clear and is a Pop station which means there are some songs I recognize and some I do not. I have listened to it and it really isn’t so bad for a few minutes. Also, in the evening I can pickup some AM Talk News radio stations but I have to hold the CD player in a certain position or I loose the station. I was able to hear the election results last night which was very nice. This may seem as if I am complaining but I am not. I am fortunate to have the CD/Radio player because there are inmates who have nothing. I am not sure of the process for receiving CD’s but I believe hey must come from approved catalogue companies just like the packages. This is a shame because I have so many homemade CD’s which my wife could send me but this does not appear to be an option I could borrow CD’s from my fellow dorm mates but those that have CD’s I am not that friendly with and their collection is not exactly my type (rap music). I did hear someone playing a Beatles and Rolling Stones CD but I don’t feel comfortable asking to borrow it.

Thank God for my writing. It is wonderful to communicate with my family and friends. Last night I was writing a few letters which I started after dinner around 6:30 pm and when I looked at my watch it was 10:00 pm and I hadn’t put down the pen. Writing is certainly therapeutic and a valuable tool to make the days go by faster. I am so blessed to receive so much mail and to have a wonderful family and wonderful friends. All of my dormitories are impressed by the volume of mail I receive and invariably when I am in my bunk I am always writing. It is difficult finding privacy in the dormitory, in fact, it is next to impossible. My “neighbors” live three feet on either side from me and my “Bunkie” is three feet above me. There are six inmates (including me) in a six foot area. The only place for me to write is on my bunk and I often get interrupted by other dorm mates who come over and want to talk. I have found that it is much better to write either in the morning (which I am doing right now) when everyone is asleep or in the late afternoon before dinner when everyone is preoccupied with something else. Whatever the case writing is another one of the pieces of my recovery puzzle along with the GA Program ad exercising. All these things get me through the day a much better person.

Of course there are times no matter how much I do these things that I miss my family terribly. My mother was kind enough to send me pictures of my children in their Halloween costumes. My daughter looked so pretty as the “Jazzy witch” and my son looked so handsome as Darth Vader. Each time I receive pictures of them I see how fast they are growing up and I want to get back to the as quick as possible. I do want to get to an actual fire camp quickly in order to get back to my family sooner. However, I do know there are circumstances beyond my control (again!) which are delaying this process. The prison system needs some paperwork from the county for my file and I still need to do an echocardiogram-gram and stress test. I was happy because yesterday I received a slip from the medical department saying I was cleared for al work activities and I still needed these two tests in order to be cleared for fire camp. The only thing I can do is to stay on top of these issues which I will. I will do everything in my power to ensure my fire camp eligibility requirements are processed in a timely manner. This is the only thing I can do and hopefully within a matter of months I will be placed into a fire camp. God does have a plan for me and I am patiently following this plan in order to have a magnificent life.