Positive Not So Positive

It appears my vegetarian status at dinner requires some patience on my part. As I reported my first time presenting the notification of my special meal went unexpectedly smooth (not withstanding my early explanation to the C/O). Last night the same C/O and the same kitchen supervisor were on duty; however, I had to wait 10 minutes for the kitchen supervisor to find the peanut butter and jam. It also appears the peanut butter and jam will be a staple of this special meal every time. The dinner was baked chicken (leg), potatoes, broccoli, some kind of green stuff, I believe it was supposed to be pea soup but resembled green sludge, and chocolate cake. Take away the baked chicken and add the peanut butter and jam and you have my special meal. Waiting the 10 minutes was a little disconcerting because even though we are given somewhat of an unlimited time to eat our meal I don’t like to stay in the dining hall any longer than I have to.

The dining hall seats 200 inmates but you would never know it because it is deceptively small. This is laid out long ways whereas the dining hall at the reception center was laid out length ways. Both dining halls seat the same amount of inmates yet the one here is much smaller. Fortunately, there has not been any incidents; however, the design if it would seem conducive to problems. Inmates are literally right on top of one another which can cause problems in and of itself. Getting in and getting out of the dining hall as quickly as possible is always my goal. Hopefully, the kitchen supervisor makes a mental (or physical) note of having at least one vegetarian meal at dinner so the peanut butter and jam is readily available. (It is very hard for me to imagine I am the only vegetarian out of 1400 inmates. The laws of probability suggest that there should be more than one. Whatever the case I will be patient because I welcome the peanut butter and jam. It is just too bad I am not given bread so I can make a sandwich. I am not sure why I receive the peanut butter and jam without bread because it really doesn’t make much sense. Then again there are so many things around here that just don’t make sense which I do accept.)

This morning I was up at 5:00 am once again in hopes of going to an early breakfast. The early breakfast time (6:45am) came and went. No explanation from the C/O, in fact there was no communication at all from him at this point. The regular breakfast time (7:15am) unlock was granted by the C/O. I went to breakfast and didn’t present my notice of special meal due to the fact I gave away my eggs (which I am not sure if I would have to explain what types of vegetarian I am to C/O on duty because the breakfast menu did not contain any “meat” products. It was easier to just take the tray and get the eggs off as soon as possible) and the lunch was peanut butter and jam with pretzels and cookies. I traded away the cookies for another bag of pretzels.

Since I started my new job on Tuesday I am a bit confused as to what I should do after breakfast. I have noticed in the past that sometimes the PFT class starts right after breakfast. Yet over the past three days it has not started until after everyone is back in the dormitories and the C/O’s provide and unlock. I find myself looking toward the basketball court for any signs of the class but there was not so I headed back toward the dorm. The unlock came much earlier than the past two days (8:15 am) and again I was excited to start the day. The program is fairly repetitive and the regular “Coach” was back. There was no explanation as to his whereabouts - it was business as usual.

We again did the stretching warm-up followed by the 3 mile power walk. During this power walk no one seems to fall behind. I was designated to fall back and walk with anyone who falls behind to ensure they are feeling well and to encourage them. No one did so I walked along side of the pack the entire way. After this was complete the participants did the Harvard steps (or step-ups) for six minutes on each leg. My duty was to monitor everyone’s progress and to take note of anyone falling behind. There were a few participants who seemed fatigued but for the most part everyone got through it unharmed. Next was the most interesting part of my day because this is where we instructors instruct. It was time for the calisthenics and because it is only Day 4 we are still teaching proper techniques for the benefit of the inmates. As the participants were performing their exercises the “Coach” was showing me some of their mistakes. I did like this fact that he was showing me because I really haven’t had any direction; I am kind of winging it on my own.

After he pointed out some participants, I noticed someone performing the mountain climbers incorrectly. After noticing this I went over to the “coach” and pointed out this inmate. The “Coach” said “yes, he is doing it incorrectly.” Then he went over to this inmate and demonstrated the proper technique. I didn’t think much about this and went about my business. I noticed two other inmates performing exercises incorrectly and demonstrated the proper method. These inmates appeared to be very receptive to my suggestions.

The calisthenics were over and it was time for another 3 miles power walk/jog. As the participants were lining up for the run one of them came over to where I was standing. This was the inmate/participant who was corrected by the “Coach” for the improper mountain climber technique. This inmate was very upset with me because he thought I told the “Coach” on him. He asked (rather demanded) “Why did you go and tell the “Coach” on me?” I was taken by surprise but remained calm and explained, “I did not tell the “Coach” on you I was trying to help you and I was doing my job.” He didn’t appear to like my comment because he was adamant about me telling on him. This only lasted a few seconds and the run had started. He didn’t threaten me or push me, he was just hell-bent on me having him ratted out. Of course, I was a bit shaken with this verbal altercation but I didn’t lose my cool and I never raised my voice. I let him speak his mind. I learned a long time ago there are some arguments not worth getting into and once I saw where this inmate’s mindset was there was nothing I could say that would change his mind.

The participants and this participant started their run when the lead Instructor overheard this and didn’t want any part of it. I tried to explain but it appeared I was on my own. Then the “Coach” came over to me who had thankfully overheard my verbal altercation and came over to me and asked the particulars of the situation. I told him that the inmate was very upset with me but he didn’t threaten me in anyway. The “coach” said that the inmate’s behavior was unacceptable and backed me up 100%. I was happy after I heard this and hurried back to the power walk/run.

When I got to the pack I discovered that someone had fallen behind so I went back to see if he was okay. I walked with him awhile and he wasn’t feeling very well. The “Coach” came over and instructed this person to lie down. After a few minutes he was feeling better and wanted to power walk. He did three more laps with me right by his side. I must give this inmate credit because he is in his mid 50’s and just doesn’t have the stamina to get through the training class yet he is trying his best. Unfortunately, sometimes in physical tests your best may not be enough. Again, I was happy to walk with this inmate and encourage him along the way. This is the good part of the job.

Another good part was as we were doing the class the yard remained closed. This means no one other than the PFT class was allowed outside. Being outside exercising and instructing certainly has its benefits especially when everyone else is locked into the dormitories. The reason for the lockdown was due to a few inmates who were recently transferred here from another prison showed signs of tuberculosis and they needed to separate these inmates. Here is something I did not realize I had to contend with; infectious diseases, when I arrived at prison. However, it is a fact that when this many people are contained in such close quarters diseases can spread. Hopefully, the prison officials have caught this in time so no one else is exposed. If a higher outbreak occurs we could be on an extended lockdown status.

At the end of the training class the “Coach” had (like he always does) a meeting with all the instructors. Of course, he brought my situation/altercation with the inmate and the “coach supported me fully. All the other instructors also supported me after hearing this. I do realize there is a very fine line I need to walk when it comes to certain inmate/participants. My job is to instruct yet some inmate/participants view this as “snitching”. This is the not so positive part of my new job. I need to be very careful when I do speak with the “coach” regarding participants. Perception in a place like this can turn into a very bad reality. I am not prison-savvy but I do have a great deal of common sense. Having said that, my common sense may not translate into prison sense so I must think clearly at all times. I am certainly not out to “get” anyone and all I want to do is help. I don’t have the ability to fail any participants and I am happy not to have this ability. The “Coach” is the one who passes and fails participants not any of the instructors. Ninety-five percent of the class understands this concept and I won’t let the remaining five percent get to me. I will remain positive and upbeat when dealing with the participants. I cannot get into the mind of anyone so there will be some participants who no matter how I try will just not understand that I am not out to “get” anyone. Today was an eye opening day but I do enjoy this job very much and I won’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch. The positives far outweigh the not so positive and it certainly appears I will keep learning everyday as I work as an instructor.