No Black Friday Here

Stories from fellow inmates resemble “fish stories” – you know “fish stories” – back in ’68 I caught a 200 pound tuna when in reality it was a 2 pound tuna. I shared a dorm with some inmates who have spent most - if not all – of the 21st century incarcerated and they share their prison stories liberally. They were centered around the Thanksgiving meal and how it is usually the biggest meal of the year. In fact, several fellow inmates made a reference to just last year and how they needed to use two hands to carry their Thanksgiving tray to their table. Apparently, a great deal has happened in the last year because the Thanksgiving dinner tray looked just like the Sunday night dinner tray with one exception. Last night’s tray had a small (emphasis on small) dollop of cranberry sauce. It actually looked more like jelly as opposed to sauce. These prison stories are quite funny because no matter the story I have a hard time believing any part of it as witnessed by yesterday’s regular dinner. The menu had all the required Thanksgiving foods such as turkey, stuffing, etc with pumpkin “cake” not pie. However, the meal was very ordinary. Fortunately for me, my vegetarian special meal allowed me more yams of which I ate a few. I do have a texture issue with yams – they are much too mushy for my taste but I did force some down. As I approached the front of the line, I asked the relief CO for the vegetarian meal and he asked me, “You don’t eat turkey?” as if I was from another planet.

I very politely said, “No, I don’t eat any meat.”

Then he said, “Even turkey?”

My very polite reply was, “Yes, even turkey.” Thankfully, I received my tray quickly which was again prepared by the same inmate who was in the PFT class. I am not sure why the CO didn’t view turkey as meat, but I didn’t want to find out so I said, “Thank you,” and quickly took my tray to a table.

My fellow dorm mates were very disappointed with the Thanksgiving dinner and there was a great deal of complaining. Then came more prison stories about “back in the day” we would get actual pumpkin pie and not spice cake. I just listened to these stories and smiled to myself because it is quite funny. To me the bottom line is I am in prison, sure I should receive the daily-recommended allowance of vitamins and minerals in my food but I am not entitled to any special holiday meal. It would be a nice gesture but it shouldn’t be expected because this is part of the punishment. Apparently, my views are not shared by many of the prisoners which is why I keep to myself. My only true gripe I have regarding the food is not being provided a piece of fruit at lunch. I have no idea how cookies and corn chips provide nutrients yet we get them everyday. I suspect my opinion on this is also in the minority which is why I will never mention it to anyone.

I was able to get through my very first Thanksgiving Day without any contact whatsoever with my family. I got through this day just like I have gotten through the previous 134 (but who’s counting anyway?) days by working my recovery one day at a time and also working my prison program. That includes the following: having a positive attitude, writing, exercising, and absolutely no gambling. As long as I follow these principles, my days do seem to pass by fairly quickly.

Last night I was going to venture into the telephone area to join my dorm mates in watching Spiderman 2 but I didn’t act fast enough and all the seats were taken. I had the option to lay on the concrete floor but I passed. I watched the first few minutes without the sound (no place to hook my headphones into) and all I kept thinking about was my son. He loves Spiderman and he has watched this movie which is not really suitable for a 5 year old but he was able to watch it over a friend’s house. My son loves any action hero and after the first few minutes I went back to my bunk. While I was there I took out the pictures of my family and stared at them for a good 20 minutes. I was wondering what they were doing at that time which most likely was sleeping. I kissed the picture of the three of them and wished them a Happy Thanksgiving.

Being away from my family is not easy and I have been fortunate to be busy enough so the days go by faster. However, the holidays do slow down my business and I have more idle time. A good example of this was waking up this morning and having no work because all the instructors were officially off for the holiday. I again awoke up at 6:00 am and ventured into the television area to watch the early morning news. Of course, the focus of the newscast was “Black Friday”- the busiest shopping day of the year. When I saw this, I immediately thought of my wife because she has a black belt in shopping and even she would stay away form the early morning crush of the shoppers. She would go out later in the day when the craziness subsided. I wondered if she and her mom – who also has a black belt in shopping – were going out today. These are the little passing moments that are so difficult because no matter how temporary my situation may be here I am still losing valuable time. Of course I cannot do anything about it but try and make the best of the situation. It certainly “is what it is” but if I don’t miss my family I certainly have not learned anything. I do miss them and can’t wait to share our lives together in peace and harmony for the first time in a long time.

Today is “Black Friday” to the rest of the world but all today in here is one day closer to my family. As I was walking to breakfast with one of my neighbors he was lamenting on the fact of how much he wants to move on to fire camp. He has completed both PFT and FFT classes, he is just waiting for his fire camp assignment which could come next week or in 12 weeks. As he was lamenting for a countless number of times, I told him to look at it this way, “No matter where you are as each day goes by, you are one day closer to getting out.”

This brings up another point which is even though all the training maybe completed I will still have to wait for my assignment in fire camp. Right now I am a long way away from fire camp and I have some hurdles to overcome so patience is a virtue. All those things are out of my control somewhat. I use the word somewhat because I have a responsibility to stay on top of these hurdles for fear of falling into the administration’s “black hole” of paperwork. I have some things to do but beyond this it is up to someone else. There are times that I have to catch myself from thinking too far ahead and for the most part I have been successful. I firmly believe everything will workout for the best and so fat it has. Some days are better than others and the major holidays are difficult. I will get through and be a better person for it.

After breakfast, I received another cheese sandwich as my vegetarian lunch. Okay, I have another complaint which I have expressed previously about the food. I wonder who the prison’s dietician is because a lunch of enriched wheat bread, yellow American processed cheese, cookies and cheetos can not be found on the food pyramid, can it? I do get annoyed – as you can see – when I received this lunch but again this is part of the punishment. This brings me to something I recently read in the newspaper – yes I do get to see a newspaper which is only a few days old – which is a great deal better than having no newspaper at all. The article was about a sentence reduced by Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Johnson against George Weller.

Many of you on the East Coast may not know about Mr. Weller but four years ago at the age of 85 he crashed his Buick into a crowded Santa Monica street killing 10 people and injuring 63. Mr. Weller kept mistaking the brake for the gas pedal. As if that weren’t enough, he expressed no remorse nor had made an apology. The case went to court and the jury quickly convicted him of 10 counts of vehicular manslaughter. The 10 counts meant he could spend 20 years in prison. The judge rendered his sentence but before had a few choice words for Mr Weller, “George Weller clearly deserves a prison sentence. The devastation he has caused and the indifference he has displayed support no other conclusion.” The judge went on, “The fact that he deserves prison didn’t mean he should get it.” Judge Johnson said, “I believe the courts used to be practical as well as principled, and I don’t see any purpose in sending Mr Weller to jail or prison. It wouldn’t do anybody any good.” The judge sentenced him to 5 years probation. Of course, his age and ill health had a huge bearing on this sentence but the judge used some common sense which in my opinion is good to see. I won’t make any references to my case because it is over but from what I have seen in the past four months other judges would serve the public well if they used this form of common sense. As it stands right now the Prison System is not working and we need more judges like this one. This is by no means a solution for the problems which exist; it is just a small piece in a very large puzzle.

It appears winter is upon us here at SCC because the grass was coated with frost this morning. Fortunately, the wind was not blowing so the forty degree temperature did not feel so bad. I was able to hold my own impromptu workout session with three other inmates. We did my own “super workout” and by the time we were finished it felt much warmer than the 46 degrees because each of us was covered in sweat. The three other inmates did a good job getting through most of the workout but somewhere near the end I was the only one counting the number of repetitions. It did feel great working out this way and afterward I ran 7 miles. I was also able to sign up for a telephone call and hope my wife is available. If it doesn’t happen I will try again another day. The simple appliance of a telephone has grown so very important in my life, yet another lesson learned.