Fog

I am so glad I have the ability to write each day especially yesterday when I was in a bit of a funk. But when I finished writing I felt so much better. Also, after completing the blog, I was able to compose a letter reflecting the importance of GA in my recovery. I have no idea if this letter will help the recipient, but it certainly helped me. The amazing part about recovery is the more a person gives the more he is helped. I tried my best in this letter to emphasize serenity which is a key component of my recovery. This concept was foreign to me some 21 months. How each day I look to the Serenity Prayer to get me through and it always does. I have pointed out time and time again how so many events are out of my control and thankfully I do accept serenity. That carries me through this journey and it will carry me through my lifetime.

I was able to run during yesterday’s afternoon yard. I was also able to sign up for a telephone call Tuesday afternoon just in case I couldn’t reach my wife later yesterday afternoon (more on this later). I ran 14 miles which equates to 42 laps around the track. I actually lost count somewhere in the middle of my run but was able to calculate the number of laps based on my running time on the stopwatch. I was moving fairly fast for me doing 7 minutes and 45 seconds a lap. I was feeling okay during the run – not great as I have done in certain runs- but I could feel the soreness in my calves. Usually, the first five miles are the most difficult then I guess the endorphins kick in until mile 8 but after that I was feeling good. As I was running I could hear the other inmates talk about me and one comment I found very funny. As I ran by two inmates who were walking the track (of a different race) I overheard one say to the other, “You see that dude, he is the fastest on the yard.” This is very funny because I am nowhere near the fastest person on the yard. I maybe able to run the longest or farthest but I am by no means fast. Perception is very interesting because it can be way off base but somehow it turns into a truth. Whatever the case, when I heard the comment I had to laugh and smile.

I was able to finish the 14 miles in an hour and 43 minutes which for me is fairly good. I always gauge my run by hopefully running the last mile faster than the first mile. Yesterday I ran the first mile in 7 minutes and 48 seconds and ran the last in 7 minutes and 38 seconds. It was a very successful run. When I woke up this morning I was not feeling any ill effects from the run and the toenail on my big toe is still hanging in there. I wore my running shoes even though they are a bit too small they are much better than the instructor shoes. It was a good afternoon yesterday followed by a good evening.

I tried to telephone my wife yesterday afternoon but she was not home. I was able to get in contact with my mother. It was great although short to speak with her. I still can’t get over how fast that 15 minutes goes by. It seems once I say hello it is time to say goodbye. I will take what I can get and hearing my mother’s voice was well worth it. My mood had lifted since the morning. The run provided my spirits with a lift and finally hearing my mother’s voice put me over the top! I do cherish those telephone calls and I know there is a reason I can only call my family so often because I do appreciate those times I get to speak with someone. Hopefully, my wife will be available when I call tomorrow.

Well, I have come to the “special vegetarian” meal part of the blog yet again. The main entrée last night was roast beef (which looked much like roast turkey, who am I to judge?) with mashed potatoes, green beans, salad, and jello. I asked for the vegetarian meal and was given a tray with roast beef or roast turkey – take your pick – with a teaspoon size of mashed potatoes, green beans, salad, and jello. I was given two tubes of peanut butter and my inventory is growing quickly. When I run in the afternoon especially on the weekends like yesterday I do not like to eat lunch before the run. I hadn’t taken anything since breakfast so I was very hungry by dinnertime. When I saw my tray with the tiny portions I was very disappointed. I ate everything on my tray and was given an extra portion of green beans by one of my dorm mates but I was still very hungry. I got back to the dorm and decided to make the rice I was given on Saturday. I made the entire package which only cost 60 cents and has two servings. I made this in my hot pot with some soup seasonings. The package yielded a great deal of rice and I ate it all because remember it is all about the calories. I was certainly full when I finished. I think the combination of rice, peanut butter, tuna fish (not altogether – that would sure make for a funky dish) once I get to the store will be enough for me. I would do well in the eating portion of the television show “Survivor”.

After dinner I was able to obtain another book which takes precedence over “The Wizard’s First Rule”. I found another James Patterson novel “The Midnight Club”. In fact, one of the instructors has 10 Patterson novels and he would be happy to lend me them as I finish each one. This was very exciting news because as I have written before his novels are always very good. I started the book last night and I am half way through it. I am not disappointed because it is very good. This maybe one of his earlier books – 1989 – and having read more of his recent books 2002 –2003 – his writing style has changed slightly but it is still a very good book.

On Saturday night I didn’t go out into the yard because I was still in my shorts and didn’t feel like changing. About 30 minutes after the yard was opened a heavy fog rolled in within minutes. I have written about fog before and it is not a preferred weather condition for the CO’s. The yard was shut down within minutes and everyone returned to their dorms. We had another emergency fog count after everyone returned from the yard. Last night the fog rolled in a little earlier and there was no yard again. It gets very dense and the visibility is almost non-existent. We had yet another emergency fog count last night. It seemed to stay much longer last night as opposed to Saturday night. In fact, it was still foggy when I woke up at 5:30 this morning. As you can imagine fog presents a problem when running the normal prison program. Today being Monday means the Physical Fitness Training Class is held but due to the fog its status was in jeopardy.

This created havoc for the breakfast unlock. Normally the CO unlocks the dorm door and we all walk along the track until we reach the dining hall. However, due to the fog we were lead out of our dorm in a single full line and walked directly across the grass to the dining hall. Also, seating in the dining hall was done by dorm not race. This delayed breakfast 45 minutes but by the time we were coming out of the dining hall the fog was lifting. We got back to the dorm and had yet another emergency fog count. I wonder if anyone actually tries to escape when it is foggy? But I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry on the CO’s part. I wasn’t expecting the PFT class to start this morning. I had my doubts we would have it at all. However, by 10:00 am the CO came to the dorm for the PFT unlock and I was pleasantly surprised! Yet another one of the positives of this new position, even the yard maybe locked down due to the fog but we are able to get outside. More importantly I get a consistent routine which helps me tremendously pass the time so much quicker. By the way I had no idea fog could mess up so much of the program, but it certainly does and for good reason.

We had a substitute coach today and according to this substitute we will have him for the next three days which is good news for the participants in the class and the instructors. We embarked again on a 4 mile power walk and I get to act like a drill sergeant with encouraging phrases like “FIRED UP”, “CAN’T STOP”, “WON’T STOP” and other catchy phrases. Even after running 14 miles yesterday I felt very good during the power walk. I also get to yell out the Fire Orders which everyone has to memorize when they get into fire camp. This is the class after the PFT class. The fire orders are – if anyone cares?

F Fight fire aggressively but provide for safety first
I Initiate all action based on current and expected fire behavior
R Recognize current fire conditions and obtain forecasts
E Ensure instructions are given and understood

O Obtain current information on fire status
R Remain in communications with crew members, your supervisor, and adjoining fire crews
D Determine safety zones and escape routes
E Establish lookouts in potentially hazardous situations
R Retain control at all times
S Stay Alert, keep calm, think clearly, and act decisively

As we are power walking I shout these and the class shouts them back. I get to use my loud voice and it can get very loud. You can ask my friends who have been over to our house when I use this voice to discipline my children. I don’t use it often but when I do I certainly get my point across! The power walk was great and then the class was doing Harvard Steps – 8 minutes on each leg. I got to call out the cadence for the right leg. “Up with your right, down with your right, up with your right” and so on. The participants are supposed to stay with the cadence. Apparently, the instructor who is also somewhat new and I had a faster than usual cadence. Hopefully, as I get to do this more often I will become more comfortable. Again, I have to keep in mind the fitness levels of most of the participants and I need to slow it down.

After having the class go through their calisthenics and calling out the mountain climber count it was time for the one mile run. Me being the “new guy” I had to put away the hose and the “water horse” – an impromptu water fountain for the class- before joining the mile run. I was having difficulty disconnecting the hose (some firefighter I’m going to make) but managed to get it off. I was able to jog with the participants who were lagging behind and encouraged them to finish. This is the best part of the position and even though I am not doing my all out run I am very content to jog side by side with these participants until they finish. I have received a few “thank you’s” from then when they finish which makes it all worth it. Even the participant I had a difficult time with last week gave me a nod of thanks today when I told him he was doing a very good job. Things do work out for the best.

We started the PFT class late so when it ended we needed to start the Plus Class very soon. Unfortunately, I could not participate in the afternoon class because I received a ducat to see the registered nurse on the yard. The office is located directly across from the basketball court where we hold the PFT Plus Class. I was hoping to see the nurse prior to the start of the afternoon class. I went in to see her before the class but there were 10 people in front of me who missed their appointments from this morning. I waited an hour for the nurse to call me while the class went on. Finally, I was called and went into the office. I had no idea why I was there at first but when I saw my request which was written to the doctor last week I instantly knew why I was there. I wrote a request asking about my medical clearance for fire camp. I received the blood teat results which came back negative and wanted to know if there was any additional follow up required. The nurse was very cordial and explained the procedure to me. I am not currently medically cleared for fire camp because I still need an echocardiogram and stress test within 90 days of the doctor’s order which was November 2. This means I must have the test performed by February 2 – Groundhog Day. That doesn’t mean it will take that long (God I hope it doesn’t) it just means it has to be performed in that time frame. I do need these tests for medical clearance so I can move on to the Firefighter Training Class. Of course, the sooner I get these tests the better because again for every month I reside here I am losing 10 days to being back with my family. Also, according to the nurse I am due to see the doctor in the next week according to his orders. This is good news because I will ask him to prescribe the protein drink for me so I don’t waste away into nothing and it also provides more vitamins and nutrients than I am currently getting in my food. This will help maintain my weight.

The nurse was very thorough and didn’t even charge me the $5.00 co-pay. Unbeknownst to me each time a request goes to the medical department it counts as a visit to the doctor which cost $5.00. She didn’t charge me because she believes each inmate should receive their first visit free of charge in order to explain the procedures. I thought this was very fair of her. Finally, the nurse, who by the way had no idea about how hard I work out nor did she know the fact that I am a PFT Instructor even though it was written on my shirt, said to me, “Keep trying to do the PFT Classes and only do what you can do.” I thought this was a very strange comment and I said to her, “I am an instructor so I am doing more than trying.” I may have said this with a bit of arrogance because I was completely taken aback by her comment. Then she went on to tell me that no matter how good a shape anyone is in they can drop dead tomorrow. When I heard the words “Drop Dead” I wanted the conversation to end right then so I agreed with her and didn’t add anything more! She concluded the discussion and I thanked her for her time and left her office.

As I was leaving to embark more on my exercises, I thought about the irony of the situation. The medical staff is doing its job to ensure I am medically cleared for fire camp because if they don’t and I “drop dead” at a fire they are liable. Yet – thankfully – I am allowed to be a PFT instructor which maybe more rigorous than firefighting, go figure? I am very anxious to have the echo and stress tests done for two reasons. One, I stated prior, to get the medical clearance as soon as possible. Two, I really want to see the results to ensure there is nothing wrong with me because if there is I will be completely shocked. I am not saying it is out of the realm of possibility that there is something wrong with my heart but it would be truly amazing that a much-maligned medical department would be the one to discover it. It will be very interesting to see the results of these tests but I will continue doing what I have been doing exercise wise because I do feel very good.