Days Moving Quickly

One of the key components in the Gamblers Anonymous Program is to be PATIENT. In fact the passage goes something like this; Be PATIENT the days and weeks will pass soon enough and as you abstain from gambling and follow the key components in the GA Program (my interpretation I know the GA Combo book has something different) your recovery will really accelerate. I have always been a patient person outside of my obsession to gamble; I have always been patient with my family, friends and co-workers but I wasn't patient with my gambling the patience; became non-existent. However; since I have not placed a wager of any kind in 352 days my recovery has really accelerated and the days and weeks sure have passed by so quickly.

It seems that the days go by like seconds. I don't know if it is the fact that in a few weeks I won't have the freedoms I have enjoyed for the last 40 and half years or the fact that I have fully immersed myself in recovery. Over the past 5 days I have been to 6 GA meetings and those five days have passed by so quickly. Also; in those past 5 days I have received further treatment for my compulsive gambling disorder at a local treatment facility which has also added to the fullness of my days.

When I first stopped gambling and all of my horrible deeds became known the days felt like years and when I was incarcerated for 5 days I thought time had actually stopped. Now I am almost one year removed from all of the madness and life has a new perspective and it is a good perspective. No matter what happens in the coming months and no matter where I spend the next year or so I know I am on the road to recovery. I have been given some very powerful tools by some very powerful people and as long as I continue to apply these tools to my daily affairs life will continue to get better.

The headline read; Child Found Dead In Car At Casino. This is a breaking story in a Southern California Native American Casino (not the one I was previously employed with) so the details were very sketchy. Here is the news alert in its entirety; A child has reportedly been found dead at Sycuan Casino. Police say the child was found in a car in the parking lot of the casino. Homicide detectives were called out to investigate.

I have read about these type of horrible events before and at some of the places where I used to work in the casino business it had happened. It is truly sad when any child dies but the circumstances surrounding these deaths are really horrible. I don't know the specifics about this particular case and I will not speculate. However; I do know of other incidences in Las Vegas and Arizona where mothers and fathers have left their children in a locked car in the parking lot of a casino where the temperatures had hit 100 plus degrees outside and the temperature inside the vehicle exceeded 150 degrees. The children were killed due to the heat and lack of oxygen. Many of these mothers and fathers were/are compulsive gamblers and if this is not a glaring example of what the illness of compulsive gambling can do to people then nothing is.

There was one account where a mother had locked her 18 month old in a car in Arizona for 9 hours. They interviewed the mother and she told them she was only going to run into the casino for a few minutes but somehow that few minutes turned into 9 hours. She couldn't stop gambling even knowing she had a baby in her car. This certainly does not excuse or explain away an unnecessary death but it shows how powerful the addiction to gambling can be and is. Yes, there are more stories like this everyday and I certainly can't save the world. I must concern myself with myself first and foremost or I will lose myself. However; the word about how powerful this addiction can be to some people must be told or there will be more and more of these unnecessary deaths.

Are compulsive gamblers bad people? I certainly do not think I am a bad person; I do have a sickness which can never be cured but can be arrested. The only way for me to arrest my compulsive gambling disorder is to NOT gamble and apply the GA Program to my everyday life. Yes, I thank God I didn't harm my family physically with my compulsive gambling addiction but I need to make amends for all the financial and emotional harm I have bestowed upon them. I am trying each and everyday to become a better person and I know I am a better person today than I was one year ago thanks to a very powerful Program.