Step Two

I am in the midst of a recovery festival (if you will); today I am going to attend a group therapy session for compulsive gamblers (which I am one) followed by an inaugural Gamblers Anonymous meeting which be followed by another GA meeting to celebrate a one year birthday. Which means this particular member has abstained from gambling for one year. It is a meeting that I do not usually attend but it is a very big day and the fellowship has shown me experience, strength and hope. Without the GA Program I would be totally lost which and I owe it to myself to make as many meetings as possible without interfering with my family life.

In the spirit of recovery I would like to touch on Step Two in the Gamblers Anonymous Program of recovery; Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. In step one I finally admitted I was powerless to gambling and my life had become unmanageable. In step two the belief that a Power greater than me can restore me to a normal way of thinking and living. I tried and failed to quit gambling on my own so I want to believe there is something out there that I can count on to help me deal with my gambling addiction. Step two provides one of the keys which is a Power greater than myself.

Gamblers Anonymous is not a religious program even though there are references to God. GA is a spiritual program and God or a Higher Power can be anything a person chooses to believe from Jesus to the chair inside the meeting room. The fact that there is a Power that can restore me to sane way of thinking and behaving is enough for me because when I was gambling I didn't not act sanely nor did I behave sanely. I thought I was but I only fooled myself which lead to very bad things and very bad consequences.

Somewhere I lost my Higher Power. I was never a big believer or disbeliever in God I just accepted it as something I didn't know much about. I was raised Catholic but my parents always gave my sisters and me a choice when we were old enough to whether or not to continue in this religion. I know I lost my way a few years ago when the Catholic Priest scandal took hold. At the time I was involved in the Catholic Church in Las Vegas. I was a lecturer (reader) at Saturday mass but when this scandal hit I lost faith in the Catholic Church and some how returned to gambling. I don't believe the two are connected in a way that when I lost my way with the Catholic Church I instantly started to gambling because of it. I lost my faith and decided to put my energies elsewhere which was gambling.

Back to Step Two; the GA Program is very good at defining spiritual as a guide to moral progress in my life. My Higher Power which I choose to call God is a spiritual God and it is my own interpretation. My God is not allied with any religion or sect; it is loving, caring, forgiving and is always there when I need it. My God is neither male or female; it is a higher being than me and has shown me some very powerful things in this past year. One of the things is nothing happens as just mere coincidence; everything happens for a reason. Eleven and half months ago my world was turned upside down but through some tremendous people and a fantastic Program I found my God as I understand it and my life is on the right road to recovery.

I know I can't stop gambling by myself no matter how many safeguards I may put into my life so I need help and GA has provided this much needed assistance. I do know by constantly working Step Two in the Gamblers Anonymous Program of Recovery my life has gotten better and continues to get better. I firmly believe my God of my understanding has and will continue to restore me to a sane way of thinking and living. This is the essence of Step Two and I must not lose focus because lost focus will result in bad consequences. My God will continue to guide me back to sanity one day at a time.