February 8, 2001

On February 8, 2001 my wife and I welcomed our second child Jonathan into the world at 10:00 pm Pacific Time in Las Vegas, Nevada. He weighed 8 pounds 9 ounces and was 21 inches long. My wife went into the hospital at 5:00 pm and five hours later we welcomed our blue-eyed son. It was a remarkable delivery because it was very different from our daughter three years earlier. (I will write more on her birth this coming Saturday my daughter's birthday.) The delivery was remarkable because my wife had Super Nurse. There is no other name for this lady because she was SUPER.

My wife had problems delivering my daughter three years earlier and this nurse knew what to do so she could avoid those problems. She had my wife sit on the bed in very interesting positions to induce the labor naturally. My wife did not need any of the inducing drugs that she had needed for my daughter because this Super Nurse knew her job. When I look back at that night I can't help but be amazed at this nurse because she was doing God's work. At the time I didn't look at this way but over the years this is how I believe it to be.

I have no idea if I had a bet going on that night or not; all I was concerned with was the health and welfare of my wife and new born son. I am sure I had some type of action going on the day before and most likely a few days after. I was able to go a few days without placing a wager but inevitably I returned with so much force it really was ridiculous. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter who covered an NBA or college basketball game five years ago but it matters that my wife brought our new born son into the world. Why I didn't know those things then may remain a mystery for my lifetime. However; the fact that I can say my gambling was beyond ridiculous is a very good sign and also the fact that now I have the tools to know the difference.

A quick aside; as we were driving to the GA meeting on Monday one of the long term members had said something. This member stated that when they were gambling they always knew they had a choice; however; once they stopped gambling they now know the right choice. The other long time member made a reply to this statement; when they were gambling they didn't realize they had a choice and when they stopped they realized that they do have a choice and they have continued to make the right choice for the last 16 years which is to NOT gamble. I was thinking about these two statements and how it relates to me. For me I am somewhere in the middle and will try to explain. When I first started gambling I knew I had a choice; however; as I continued to gamble I didn't have a choice and did not know how to get help. Once I fully committed to getting help; I know I have a choice and I pray to God each and every day I make the right choice because making the wrong choice would be a deadly decision.

Back to my son's birthday. Today we celebrated his birthday in a local park with some of our friends. It was a great day and the weather which has been unseasonably warm even for Southern California cooperated with a temperature of 86 degrees with 8 percent humidity. Yes, it is the middle of winter and even by Southern California standards this is very warm. There were 13 children and 7 adults. The children had a great time decorating their own cupcakes, hitting the pinata and playing in the park. It was a great afternoon. I know in a previous life I would have gone to the party for about an hour but would have had a plethora of things on my mind. Today was very different because I took it all in and it felt great.

Also; as I was watching the children play at the park I got to thinking that five years ago when my son was born we didn't know any of those people at the party today. Each one of the people know my current situation but have not abandoned our family. There are some truly remarkable people in the world and I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many of them. It would have been easy for someone to pass judgment on me and my wife; however; none of these people have done this and in fact there has been nothing but words of encouragement. I know where ever the next five years takes my family and me I will still be touched by these incredible people.

As I tucked my son into bed this evening it didn't matter to him how simple his birthday was. What matter to him; was that we were all there together. I know I will miss a few birthdays in the coming years due to my situation but I do know even in prison I will still have contact with my family because they are the most important factor in my life. I know to cherish the now and today was a fabulous day with fantastic people.