Acceptance

Before I get into the "nuts and bolts" of this passage I need to mention my children's soccer games today. Afterall it is Saturday and with three weeks including today remaining in the soccer season I would be remiss if I did not recap my son's and daughter's games this morning. My daughter's team which has struggled all season long finally found a team in worse shape. They were able to shutout this team by scoring three quick goals early on and holding on for a 3-0 victory. Even though winning and losing are not emphasized my daughter was very happy to finally get a win.

My son's team where keeping score is not really something these five years old and unders do (I wouldn't be honest if I didn't disclose that many people do keep score) won their game in spite of having only 3 of the 6 players show-up. Normally they play 4 on 4 but only 3 kids showed up on my son's team versus all 6 on their opponent. In spite of having the children play the entire game without having any substitutes my son's team won 5-4. My son scored four of the five goals and he was having a great game.

I have written about his athletic prowess before and I know I am biased but he was awesome today. He scored four goals and with a few breaks he could have scored 8 goals. It is going to be very interesting to see how he develops over the next 10 to 15 years. He has the foundation of an athlete and it appears his future is going to be very bright. I will not put any pressure on him and I want him to enjoy whatever sport he plays. Once he stops having fun then he will stop developing and I pray to God he has fun for a very long time to come.

Again I was thinking about our very powerful speaker as I was speaking to my sponsor in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. My sponsor who is a very wise person came up with a one word summary of the speaker; ACCEPTANCE. It is so true because the foundation of my recovery is based on this very powerful term. I have accepted I am a compulsive gambler, my life is unmanageable and I cannot recover from this addiction by myself. Once I accepted these terms my life started to get better. Much like the speaker who has 20 plus years in the GA Program and has had many difficulties in those 20 years outside of the Program yet never wavered. They never wavered because they accepted that bad things do happen and to NOT compound those bad things by going out and gambling.

Acceptance is a very powerful tool because if I accept the fact that I am a compulsive gambler and NOT do anything about it I am doomed for failure. I have accepted this fact and I am committed to my recovery. There is a very powerful psychological tool called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). A very good friend of mine in the GA Program attended a seminar on this powerful therapeutic tool a few months ago and was giving me the outstanding details. ACT--- is a unique and creative approach to behavior change which alters the very ground rules of most Western psychotherapy. It is a mindfulness-based, values-oriented behavioral therapy, that has many parallels to Buddhism, yet is based on cutting-edge research into human behavioral psychology.

I do not pretend to be a psychotherapist nor do I have a degree in psychology so these terms are certainly over my head. What I do know is what is working for me and others to recover from a very baffling addiction compulsive gambling. I do know that my recovery is based on a spiritual belief because there is NO way I can arrest this illness by myself. Just like the reading from "A Day at a Time" states; When we're troubled and can't see a way out, it's only because we imagine that all solutions depend on US. All solutions do NOT solely depend on me, yes, I am a part of the solution but there is something much higher than me that has control and I am grateful for letting go. When I let go I get back my control. Sounds crazy but it works because when I maintain control things will always go wrong. When I let go things will always go right. I like when things go right and I like how things have gone for the past 14 months.

One saying in GA is "Let go and let God". This is so true because I cannot control all things and I don't want to control all things. God has a master plan for me and I am forever grateful to be on this very positive journey. This very positive journey has taken me to some great places and given me so incredible gifts. These gifts will always be with me no matter where this journey takes me and I know there is more fascinating experiences as I make my way through this journey one day at time.

As long as I accept and stay committed my recovery will continue to get better. I must be diligent with this acceptance and commitment because there will always be bumps in the road. I must not exasperate these bumps by resorting to my old behavior. I must stay in the now and draw upon the tools that have given me my life back. I look forward to each and every day because my life is an exciting positive journey.