Final Soccer Saturday

Yes, today was the final game of the soccer season for both my daughter and son. It has been a truly amazing time over these past few months. I have enjoyed the games and I have enjoyed watching my daughter and son improve as the season went on. Today the times of their games were very convenient; my daughter was first at 11:00 am and then it was my son's turn at 12:00 pm.

My poor daughter feels so much pressure and it comes from herself. She is very competitive and she is so hard on herself. She had a very tough time this morning during her game. She tried so hard to finally score a goal and she had two good chances but she could not connect. Also; she only played half the game as opposed to last week where she played the entire game. This week all 10 players showed up and most of the kids only played half the game but it was so hard on my daughter because she wanted to score a goal more than anything. She was very sad when the game was over even though her team had won the game and she played very well; the one she wanted more than anything else was to finally score a goal and unfortunately it did not happen.

My wife and I certainly do not put any pressure on my daughter because God knows my daughter puts enough pressure on herself. In fact my wife and I try to alleviate this pressure by praising my daughter for all that she had accomplished. She sat crying at the end of her game and I tried my best to console her but she wasn't hearing anything I said. She is a GREAT child and I love her dearly and I just want the best for her which is why it is so hard to watch her beat herself up. Hopefully, she will understand in a few years that soccer or just about anything is fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of life but I know this concept took me almost forty years to learn and I am still learning more and more as each day passes.

As we watched my son's game my daughter was still in a fairly bad mood when she said; "Jonathan (her brother) scores 100 goals and I can't score any." Again, I told her she did a great job this season and she got better and better as each game went by. I also told her she will score a goal because she is determined and committed to finally getting that goal but I also told her to try and have fun. I know she may not have understood this nor wanted to hear this but it is truly remarkable how much pressure she puts on herself for an 8 year old daughter.

I also know that she is going through a very hard time with my pending departure and her pending move. She is in a little turmoil but hopefully some type of normalcy will return before she knows it. I also understand the next few years will be very difficult for her and I really screwed up so I won't be able to be there for her during this time period. But I do know her mom my wonderfully amazing wife will guide her through this tough time and she will be fine.

On to my son's game; my son didn't score seven goals this week he only scored three goals and actually had an assist. The assist means he passed the soccer ball to a teammate who made a goal. This was the first goal scored by someone other than my son in a very long time and I was very impressed my son passed the ball. He has an instinct to shoot no matter where he is on the soccer field and my wife has named him the "ball hog". It is not that he is a ball hog but he just gets to the ball more times than his teammates and has more opportunities to shoot.

His team has gotten so much better over the past month it has been amazing. They have only played with four players which means there are no substitutes and those players play the entire game. Yes, they are only five years old but the progress and the fun these kids have is contagious especially seeing my son so enthusiastic about the game.

The games were great and I am so sorry to see the season end for a few reasons. The kids were getting better even though my daughter may not think so and this soccer season most likely marks the last time my children will play soccer in Southern California. In all likelihood they will be moving to New Jersey to start a new chapter in their lives and I will be away for an as yet undetermined period of time. But I do know that when my time is up I will be with them no matter where they are because having my family together means the world to me and they will play soccer and other sports no matter what state we live in.

Changing gears very quickly I ran across yet another article on how compulsive gambling can destroy a life. As you can see from the article it is an all too familiar story. Compulsive gambler steals to feed the addiction. Fortunately for this lady the judge has an understanding of addictions and recognizes she needs help and also she needs to make restitution. I guess this judge understands this lady has been punished already and needs help with her addiction and prison will serve no purpose. I pray this woman is truly working her recovery because I know by truly embracing my recovery life has gotten so much better and I love this life of being a compulsive gambler in recovery.

Finally in that article there was a quote from the mayor of the small town; "This is a very smart woman who over a period of five years out-figured the rest of us," Aplikowski said. "She could have, in my mind, figured out how to get some help. Even from the beginning, she knew what she was doing was wrong." All I can say is I guess this mayor has not been associated with anyone with an addiction.

I know for myself it was like an out of body experience and something took over me to make those same horrible decisions. Again; that out of body experience was mine and mine alone but I was compelled to keep making those bets no matter the consequences. I could not step away and take a breather; I had to continue the madness until the bitter end. It would have been great to just stop and say I am a compulsive gambler and I need help but I didn't realize this until it all came tumbling down on me. Now I am ever so grateful for being a compulsive gambler in recovery and I look forward to each and every day because each day is a gift from my Higher Power.