Very Special Day

Today was one of those very special days in my life and I am so happy to have been given this "bonus time" so I could experience the blessings in my life. The day started out with "Parents & Pastries" at my daughter's second grade class. My daughter's class has been planning this day for over one month and it was a day to celebrate mother's and father's day. Last month when my daughter's teacher first announced the date my daughter was very sad because she thought I would not be able to attend. I didn't think I would be able to attend because I would have been away on my self-imposed "vacation"; however; my Higher Power was not ready to let me go just yet. My Higher Power wanted me to experience some more blessings in my life so I was given the opportunity to experience these blessings and experience this very special morning.

The "Parents & Pastries" Day was meant for only mothers and fathers so no siblings could attend. The morning was devoted solely to my daughter as my son was at school. It was a wonderful morning the children in my daughter's class performed two songs; the first song came from the animated movie "Tarzan" called "You'll be in my Heart" written and sung by Phil Collins. The children did a remarkable job with their performance. I would be remiss if I didn't share the words because as they performed the song I had tears in my eyes, here are the lyrics;

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be herein my heart always
Always

As I listened to these lyrics and watched my daughter I tried not to completely breakdown. All of my family is so very special and knowing that next week I won't be around for an undetermined period of time really hurts. This song hit me particularly hard because I am the one who will protect my daughter (and family) but my illness (compulsive gambling) got the best of me and will cause me to miss a significant part of their lives. I know I am so much better today than I have ever been and I thank Gamblers Anonymous for this.

However; no matter how much I work my recovery it still hurts knowing what I have done to my family. Because of my compulsive gambling my family will pack up the rest of the house next month and move 3,000 miles away. They are moving away because it is the best thing for my family. I wouldn't be truthful if I said it didn't hurt because it really hurts. I know I cannot have a pity party and must deal with what is ahead of me in a positive matter. I am trying and I know whatever is ahead of me I will get through it and so will my family and we will all be better for it. We are already better than we were over 15 months ago and it will keep on getting better as long as I stay in recovery which I intend to one day at a time.

It was a very heartfelt emotional morning and I am so blessed to have experienced this. I am a blessed man with a fantastic family and I am forever grateful for their unconditional love and support.

After the gathering at my daughter's school my wife and I headed home. While I was at home I received an unexpected telephone call from my attorney's office. My attorney's office called and asked me to come in and see my attorney which is very unusual. So after setting the appointment for tomorrow I called my attorney directly and asked him what he wanted to see me about. He talked about some old business regarding my case and he also brought up something that was very unexpected.

This unexpected news was a pleasant surprise but I won't go into any details until I see him tomorrow but I can say it made me feel so much better and I actually felt a weight lifting off of my chest. With this news I do believe next Wednesday will be the final day because everything should be settled by next week. I don't know if I will post more tomorrow but I will be able to sleep this evening knowing this news.

This evening continued this very special day because my wife who is a member of Gam-Anon was celebrating her one year birthday in the Program. It has been a truly remarkable journey over these past 15 months and I owe most of it to my incredible wife. She has not only supported me but she joined a 12 Step Program designed for those who have been affected by compulsive gambling. Boy has my wife been affected by compulsive gambling and she has been a faithful member for little over one year.

Tonight was a joint meeting between Gam-Anon and Gamblers Anonymous to celebrate my wife's one year birthday. There were great people in that room who came to support my wife. My wonderful GA friends were there in force to support my wife and by supporting my wife they were supporting me as well. Also; the tremendous people in the Gam-Anon Program were there to show there support for my wife. There were great things said about my wife and I am forever grateful for her positive inspiration and incredible support.

I put this poor woman through a horrible ordeal that will not end anytime soon yet she stays positive and focused. She is a great mother, wife, and my best friend. I love her so very much and I am so proud of her. I know we will continue to get through this horrible ordeal and finally get to start living a life. It is not going to be easy in fact it may get worse before it gets better but I do know everything will continue to work out for the best. I have faith in my Higher Power to guide us through this rough time so we can become better people. I know my wife has become a better person and so have I; with the support and unconditional love of our fellowships we will be able to get through anything.

Today was a very special day in so many ways and I am so thankful to have been given the opportunity to experience all these blessings. Today I got to spend a quality morning with my wife and daughter and tonight I had the honor and privilege of celebrating my wife's one year birthday in a very special Program. Life is not about accumulating wealth; it is about happiness and today was an incredibly happy day in so many ways.