Horrid Story

I came across this story earlier today and it tells of a horrid tale of a young man and his daughter. The story also touches on the man's gambling debts. I don't know how much the gambling debts weighed on this man's mind but to me this brings a very salient point home; the disease of compulsive gambling is very powerful and will lead seemingly "normal" people down very dark paths. The principles in the Gamblers Anonymous Program constantly speak of how this addiction is progressive in nature and if left untreated it will lead to three things; prison, insanity or death (suicide). This man in this story appears to have many demons and I am fairly positive the compulsive gambling demon was at the head of the list. I pray for those left behind by this horrendous act.

Today being Wednesday means it is our Wednesday GA Speaker's meeting. We started this meeting back in February and I am so blessed to have been a part of these meetings. I am doubling blessed because in my "bonus" time I have listened to some incredible speakers who have given me so much hope. Today was another one of those tremendous speakers.

The speaker gets about 30 minutes to tell their story and we have really gotten to know fellow members on a deeper level because of this meeting. The speaker today came to Gamblers Anonymous through a court order several years ago and even though the court order has been lifted this member still regularly attends meetings. The Judge in this member's case saw how bad a compulsive gambler this person was and realized prison would not do this member any good. So the Judge ordered them to attend GA meetings as a condition of probation. This Judge was amazing because as the speaker mentioned coming to GA not only saved their life but it changed it completely in a very positive manner.

It was a truly inspirational meeting because life can change if I make the effort to change. No matter how bad I or any member has it the Program provides some extraordinary tools to get our lives back together. I know the GA Program has a very high drop out rate and I read somewhere that 91% of people that enter the room don't make one year of abstinence and thus drop out of the Program. All I can say is those people are missing something very special. I know GA is not for everyone but I am so grateful it is for me. There are great people in those rooms with exceptional stories.

Many people have horrible childhoods and horrible adulthoods but when they start to really work the Program their life turns around in a very powerful manner. These people I admire because they have showed me there is a very positive life after the insanity of gambling. This very positive life after gambling is maintained by working the Program each and everyday. It doesn't come easy but it is not impossible in fact it is very possible. Through diligent effort and being extremely mindful of my actions towards others and myself my life continues to get better and better. I know that no matter what happens in three weeks I will maintain this positive outlook because the Program has showed me the way to a much richer life than I could have ever imagine.

I am so honored to be in the company of such great people. These are the winners in life not the losers. I know I came into my first meeting fourteen plus months ago with my head down and my tail between my legs. However; what I realized in that first meeting was I am NOT alone in this battle. I have some very powerful ammunition; in the Program and the fellowship which comes with the Program. As long as I follow the Program to the best of my ability life is better and as the speaker said earlier today they are forever grateful to the GA Program. I too am forever grateful for this Program and I thank them each every day for giving me my life back.

Finally, changing gears a little I wanted to touch on sentencing hearing I read about earlier today. This one did not have anything to do with compulsive gambling or embezzlement. It had to do with negligence which led to 100 people dying. Many of you may have already read about this story because it has been a nationally covered story for a few years now. I don't know the particles in this case and I don't know if the negligence was committed purposely (judging by the sentence I would say it was not).

Reading this story struck a chord with me because in my sentencing hearing the Judge referenced a case where someone committed a crime (homicide) as a result of a terrible one time accident (driving while intoxicated) and was punished by going to state prison for 2 years. I am still searching for an answer as to what this had to do with my case because yes, I committed a crime but the crime was of stealing not murder. Maybe it had to do with the number of times I embezzled which was many more than one time.

It really is hard for me to compare what I did even though I do know it was a crime to someone who has committed murder through negligence. I don't know if a crime is a crime is a crime to my Judge no matter the charges but I would hope that in the interest of justice that each type of crime has a different meaning. Today a man was sentenced to four years of involuntary manslaughter of 100 people. Yes, I know I am facing a maximum sentence of the same four years for my crimes which doesn't include any murder victims.

When I read stories like this sentencing story it gets my mind thinking in a negative manner. I do know that my fate rests in one man's hand and I will respect whatever decision this man makes. God has given me the serenity to accept the things I CANNOT change and whatever decision is rendered in three weeks there is nothing I can do to change it. I must accept it and continue to move forward with my life in a positive manner which I will do.