Is this the "One" Person?

During yesterday’s GA meeting there were several newer members which always provide mixed feelings in my opinion. It is good that these people have recognized they have a problem and are seeking help. However; it does show the perils of compulsive gambling and how destructive it can be. If the statistics are correct between 2 to 5 percent of those who gamble do so compulsively which is a staggering number considering 80% of all people have gambled at one point or another. I do enjoy when new members come to the meeting because it is the life blood of GA in people helping people overcome their compulsive gambling addiction.

I was speaking to one of these newer members during the break of the meeting. This member had an interesting story how they came to get help. This member works in the gambling industry in a nearby casino (not the casino I used to work at). The member went on to tell me that they were reading a magazine article about a person who also worked in the gaming industry that was a compulsive gambler, embezzled from the casino they worked at, went to prison but this person entered recovery and has been recovering for the past three plus years. (Does this sound familiar?) If this does sound familiar that is because it is my story this new member had read!

As the new member was telling me this my good friend was listening and he gave me a little wry smile. I didn’t have the nerve to tell the new member that I was the one they were reading about and I surmise this new member will find out soon enough if they come back for more meetings. Maybe this was the “one” person who my story could help and it was strange hearing this member recount my story to me. It was as if I was an observer of my own life.

The details of my story were a little mixed up as the member recounted this “person” as getting into trouble for “writing bad checks”. The details really aren’t necessary as much as the overall theme to my story; compulsive gambler out of control who did illegal things to satisfy that compulsive gambling addiction. However; there is a happy side to my story in recovery as my life continues to get better with each passing day.

I also need to add that this new member had entered a recovery facility when he read my story. The story did mention this recovery facility which I worked with prior to my sentence. I do need to follow-up to see if a referral fee will be forthcoming!!! Just joking; and I am happy that this person is seeking help for their gambling addiction.

I didn’t have much to do yesterday so I decided to head into the office for the afternoon. I had some paperwork to catch up on and some filing to be done. I do have an aversion to filing and if I don’t file right away my office turns into a mess. This is no different then my office in my previous job. I do have some bad habits which need addressing and this is certainly one of those bad habits. I didn’t file yesterday but I did work on the paperwork. I also fiddle faddled around on the internet follow the Masters Golf Tournament. I was hoping to be able to watch it on the internet but for some reason I was unable to connect so I just followed through the official website.

I was able to talk with my father about an issue that has been outstanding for over 13 years. It is amazing how the past sticks around for a very long time but instead of running away from my past I addressed the situation. I don’t know if this will ever go away and there is something about this particular situation that really doesn’t make sense to me but that is neither here nor there. I did so many stupid things when I was gambling compulsively and I don’t have full recollection on many of those stupid things. The key however; was I was able to talk with my father about the matter and our relationship continues to rebuild along with getting much better then it was over three years ago.

Not only did I speak with my father I spoke with my wife, daughter and son. They had a day in nature back in New Jersey. They visited a state park which may seem like anomaly in New Jersey but there are many very nice places in New Jersey. In fact it isn’t called the “Garden State” for nothing. It truly is a “Garden State” in about 80% of the state but sometimes that other 20% of ugliness overrides the 80% of beauty. They visited Stokes State Forest which I remember visiting when I was around my son’s age. I believe my elementary school used to take an annual class trip to this area and now some thirty plus years later my daughter is doing a school project on the area, yes; things do come full circle!!

The day came to a conclusion as I watched television with my dear friends and we had a great time just making fun of the shows. There really isn’t much on television of note and we were watching a few of the CNBC shows. This was indeed fun then I retired for the night. I wasn’t ready to fall asleep so I channel surfed and came across a program called “Lockup” which is a series on prisons in the United States. This particular episode centered on a California State Prison and when I saw the clothing the inmates were wearing it brought back some very strong memories.

I was transfixed with the program because it was very accurate. As I watched I thought to myself how very fortunate I was in my 19 ½ months of incarceration to not have to deal with these very real things that these inmates were dealing with. The program illustrated the racial divide that exists in the California Prison system very well. I had to decompress for a few minutes after watching this program before falling off to sleep.

I woke up this morning focused on a workout morning. I was thinking about doing my 16 mile run outside but with the temperature approaching 100 degrees I thought I would be better served running on the treadmill at the gym and this is what I did. Not only did I run but I also did my normal weightlifting exercises as well. I completed the 3 ½ hour workout and felt very good. I made my way back to the house for some lunch and to spend the afternoon watching the Masters Golf Tournament. It was a lovely Sunday and my life is wonderful.