Wonderama

Yesterday evening was the every other week Speaker’s meeting in Gamblers Anonymous. The speaker was a dear friend of mine and even though I had heard parts of the story previously I enjoyed the meeting immensely. Not only did this dear friend speak but there were two more new members which makes four new members in two days. The meetings do go in cycles when new members arrive and lately we are in an “up” cycle with new members. One of the new members from the previous night came back for their second meeting which is always a positive sign. The younger member from Sunday evening was not expected back as their job has them hundreds of miles away; hopefully I will see this person again next week.

Gamblers Anonymous would be a very strange fellowship if new members stopped arriving. I fear recovery would be hindered because when new member do arrive the focus is solely on them and how the program changes lives for the better. I am grateful for the new members and there is a small part of me that would like to know why they stop coming along with how their lives are going without Gamblers Anonymous.

I do believe I garnered a tremendous awareness of myself and my compulsive gambling problem when I entered that room over three years ago. However; I know I cannot walk away from this program because it is what I need to survive. I tried to stop gambling without GA and it was an utter disaster and I certainly don’t want to replicate that disaster which is why I am committed to the Program one meeting at a time.

The format of the Speaker’s meeting is different then any other meeting we have in the area but I do enjoy the change of pace. It is great to hear the full story on some of our members and I have been shocked by most of what I have heard at these meetings. This shock is very positive and not judgmental whatsoever. I continue to learn to only take inventory of myself and I have to remain mindful of this fact each and everyday. I do find myself slipping into judging of others and I do have a long way to go in this area of one of the many character defects I possess. I have found it always easier to cast stones on others instead of looking within myself; however; this is detrimental to my recovery which is why I catch myself often from passing judgments on others.

The meeting went very well and I returned home for the rest of the evening. Mondays are long days along with Tuesdays but I am grateful for these long days and I am so grateful all I have to do is walk down the hall to attend the GA meetings on Monday and Tuesday. Another grateful thing in my life are my dear friends who have put a roof over my head for these past two months and with the way things are shaping up it will be another two months before I can venture out on my own. These are very special people and I spent the remainder of the evening talking with them and watching videos of the “Wonderama” on You Tube. If you are under the age of 40 you probably don’t remember this program but I remember it will and so did my friend.

I thought “Wonderama” was only a regional show broadcast in the New York area but my friend who grew up here in California remembered watching it many years ago as a child. You Tube is quite fascinating as there are so many videos available and my friends were able to pull up clips from Wonderama broadcast over 30 plus years ago. We also perused through old childhood shows such as the “Banana Splits” amongst others and these were tacky shows. The children’s shows have come along way and watching these shows now may explain why I am so screwed up now!!! Just kidding I have so many other issues not withstanding “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters”!!!!

The evening went by so quickly and it was time for me to go to sleep. I woke up ready to work out and when I got to the gym I did see my friend who was having all the problems last week. I was happy to hear his mother was improving but he had other issues to deal with. This conversation does add to my workout but I don’t mind in the least. I am helping this find out next week as they go in for surgery and I am very happy to finally give instead of constantly receiving.

The workout was very good and it was on to work. Things are happening at work and the ironies in my life continue as my old employer may save my current employer. It is truly amazing as to how life works and some of this stuff are stranger then fiction. I can’t really go into details at this point and if I did it would be like reading fiction but I am hopeful things will continue on the proper path.

I had an interview of sorts today and it went well I just have to decide if this is what I want to do and put all my efforts into this. As I was driving to the interview my Parole Agent called and informed me she would be coming by the house shortly. I told her I was not near the house and wouldn’t be there for at least another two hours so we agreed I would come to her office on Thursday for the monthly check-in meeting. Once again I will continue to do what I am told and I will do it very cheerfully. Sure the price of gas is exorbitant but if I have to drive 60 miles then I will drive the 60 miles with a smile on my face. The smile on my face continues and I am looking forward to a great GA celebration this evening when we celebrate a dear friend’s of mine birthday/anniversary in the Program.