The Tenet is Awareness

My goodness where do the days go?? I know I am getting a bit repetitive and I apologize but it does bear repeating; time goes by so quickly and it has certainly accelerated in the past two months. The last 24 hours have been a blur and I really haven’t done anything earth shattering, in fact, I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary yet the time has moved so quickly.

Last night was the Monday (actually every other Monday) evening Gamblers Anonymous speaker meeting and these are excellent meetings. These meetings have a dedicated speaker who shares their experience, strength and hope for a large majority of the meeting. The speaker last night has 26 plus years in GA and wow did I learn so much. This is the beauty of the Program because in my three years I seem to learn something at every meeting and last night was so very educational.

I believe the overall theme this member was trying to present was awareness. Awareness for me is such a key principle because for so many years I denied my compulsive gambling addiction and for me denial is the opposite of awareness. If I deny then there is no way I can address the problem because I am denying a problem even exists.

The inverse is also true with awareness; when I am aware of my misgivings and continue to take personal inventory (NOT inventory of others) I continue to grow with a positive purpose in recovery. Denial equates to negativity whereas awareness equates to living in a positive manner. Thankfully through GA I make the conscious choice to be aware of my decisions which are based on positive principles such as honesty, kindness, open-mindness and most certainly awareness.

The speaker also illustrated the huge difference between abstinence and recovery. One can “work” the GA program by being abstinent but they (in my opinion) are doing themselves a huge disservice because there is so much more to GA then just stopping gambling. The 12 steps of recovery which are universal in all 12 step programs provide an incredible way of living. I believe this has to be the foundation of my everyday existence in order for me to grow into becoming a much better person. So often members talk about “working” the steps which sound arduous. I prefer to “live” the steps in my daily affairs and this is what the speaker was saying last night. As long as I keep a conscious (incidentally this does slip in my unconscious) effort to live the 12 steps in fact it is more like the 24 steps counting the Unity part of the program my life has shown incredible growth.

Spirituality is another key tenet of the program which the speaker addressed. I love the spiritual part of the program because for years I would get so hung up on the religious aspect I would miss the big picture which living in and through Spirit. I certainly couldn’t see the forest through the trees but now with GA’s guidance I not only see the trees but the leaves, roots, and all things associated.

This was a remarkable speaker and to me it was a learning experience. I have so much more to learn and thankfully I continue to learn each and everyday. There was a point in my life not too long ago that I thought I knew everything but I certainly don’t know everything and in fact I have so much more to learn. This is a learning process and much like living one day at a time it is a daily process of learning. I love to learn and in GA there is no shortage of learning. Early on in the program I sought out the “old-timers” because they “had” what I was seeking which is recovery. I have such a long way to go but with incredible people in the program such as the member who spoke last night I am certainly on the proper path.

Speaking of awareness I have been following the story about the compulsive gambler who is suing a number of casinos for her losses. I am sure everyone has seen this story but if you haven’t please click on this link to read more http://www.mycasinolawsuit.com/copy_of_casinos_response. I have seen lawsuits like this in the past and these usually fade away which means the casinos are almost always successful. It all goes to the tobacco lawsuits with the deceptive and manipulative ways of the tobacco industry.

I have my doubts regarding this lawsuit because the burden of proof is squarely on the plaintiff and the fact that she knew to prove the casinos knew firsthand she was a compulsive gambler yet continued to let her play. It does all come down to personal responsibility but this is an insidious and baffling illness which makes people do irrational things as I can attest to.

This woman who also is an attorney is in treatment for her compulsive gambling addiction and I do hope she continues with her recovery one day at a time since life does get better. It does bring me around to my original point of awareness; at the very least this lawsuit brings the awareness of compulsive gambling to the mainstream. Most “normal” people just don’t understand the compulsive gambling addiction and I can’t blame them; there response is “why don’t you just stop?” This is such a simplistic question and one I cannot answer having been faced with the opportunity to stop multiple times before it was too late. Gratefully as long as I have a breath it is never too late and my particular situation had to happen the way it happened since everything happens for a reason.

I couldn’t just stop or walk away until I had the handcuffs around my wrists but thankfully I have found recovery and in three plus years despite some strange “surroundings” my life continues to improve one day at a time. Hopefully someone will read the story surrounding this lawsuit and stop the madness. It is quite simply madness to gamble compulsively. I know I am wired to gamble like a crazy person even though most things in my life are measured. I have an obsessive compulsive personality and gambling is one thing I cannot do like “normal” people. I have found a program of recovery which is restoring my sanity and I am eternally grateful.