"Unfinished" Stuff

There have been a few items which have remained “unfinished” over the past few years. Of course all of these items are in regards to money. I have had three different scenarios where I needed to obtain some type of closure. Today I was able to close one of those items and the conclusion is not exactly as I envisioned. This had to do with something that allegedly transpired over three years ago. As the years passed the legend of this item grew and today that legend has been put to rest.

I had to make a telephone call to a place where I did a great deal of “business” (for lack of a better word!) in the past. I had to go to their website to obtain the telephone number and the mere sight of the website sent shivers down my spine. I have come a long way in three years because I can remember when I would visit this website everyday multiple times a day. I didn’t want any part of the inner workings of the website so I obtained the information I needed and quickly closed the browser.

It was worth it to me to make the telephone call because it certainly did not hurt anything to ask. I spoke with a very nice gentleman who after a few minutes of being confused did remember the situation. As it turns out something I thought had happened over three years ago did not happen which makes more sense to me. I received information that the infamous bank wire was returned to my bank account; however; that bank account had been closed so supposedly this wire was sitting in limbo for the past few years. This was not the case because the bank wire was never sent in the first place and the money stayed with the business that it was intended for. This may sound a bit convoluted but it really is simple as something never happened and it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

I did have some delusions of obtaining this bank wire after all these years but after receiving the word from the “horse’s mouth” I felt better. Sadly, I was offered something by the very nice people I spoke with that wasn’t an option. I am happy to report I have three years, one month and five days since my last wager and I wasn’t even tempted after hearing the offer. I know where this would all lead and I am not willing to go down that road for any amount of money. I really enjoy life without gambling and I do know my life is so much better now then it has ever been. The lack of money has made me do stupid things in the past and I am not about to relive those mistakes.

Interesting enough none of the “unfinished” business is working out as I would like. I have two other items which needs to be addressed. I have started working on those and they are not going in the direction I thought they would. It really is only money and I do firmly believe everything will work out for the very best. I am at the stage where I am not sure what the very best would be but I am sure I will discover this very shortly.

In the Gamblers Anonymous we talk about how compulsive gambling is NOT a financial problem rather an emotional problem. The financial problems do cloud over the real issues and I realize I do have an emotional problem. Of course I created a “few” financial problems do to my activities and I doing my best to address these financial issues. I owe a lot of people so much and yes, that does include the financial owing. I was hoping to get a head start on paying everyone back by addressing these issues but right now it is not going my way. It really isn’t about going my way as I created this mess and know everything is working out the way it should.

My life is indeed wonderful and I continue to see great things happen. There is no doubt in my mind these great things will continue to happen and they will happen one day at time. These issues of mine were created over a significant period of my life and the resolution won’t happen overnight. The resolution will happen but in due time.

Anyhow, I had another wonderful day and I even got out of bed when I was supposed. I continued to work on another proposal for that same state agency I have become very familiar with. This bid is much better then the one I worked on yesterday and hopefully we will be successful in obtaining the bid. As I was working on the bid I came across a website which I had no clue existed. This website laid out all of the bids for the State of California and I was surprised how many different proposals there were. My particular company can only address a minor percentage of these proposals but for a state that is supposedly out of money they are creating work for many people.

As usual I was able to speak with my family today and my daughter was very talkative. She asked me several questions from where would we live when they come out in July to can she get a cell phone when she turns 11 next year. These questions were really unanswerable as my response was “I don’t know yet” and “we’ll see”.

Also my daughter wanted to confirm with me that I would not be able to come out to New Jersey for her communion and I said, “Unfortunately I cannot”. My daughter is an amazing child because she said, “that’s okay we will have someone videotape the communion so you can see it”. I told her I would be with her in “spirit” and she completely understood. I am so blessed with an AMAZING family and I love them so much!!!!!