Lovely Lunch

The movie “Forrest Gump” was profound in many ways and the writing was dead on. I realize this as I continue my life in recovery. My nickname in prison was “Forrest” for the obvious reason I seemed to always be running; hence the calls of “run Forrest run”. I’m not sure if that is where the similarities to Forrest Gump ended with me?? Anyhow borrowing a line from that movie; “life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get”, is as true as it relates to my life. I remember when I was a child and when I used to eat boxed chocolates I would always stay away from a certain kind of chocolate mostly those cherry filled ones which I thought tasted disgusting. I would often time bite into one of those and actually put it back in the box. I got so good at not piercing the chocolate that no one could tell the chocolate actually had been tried, sorry Mom!!!

In my life I don’t get to put back what life brings and to try again; I get to live life where I sort of don’t know what it will bring. Obviously I would have not designed my life in this current fashion with the whole “convicted felon thing” on my record, among losing most everything and other issues; however; I am very happy with the way my life is transpiring. I was feeling a little down because I will be unable to attend my daughter’s Communion this coming Sunday as it is another event I have missed in the lives of my children.

I did all I could to possibly make this happen but unfortunately that decision is completely out of my hands and I do accept this. I have had a difficult time accepting the manner in which this has transpired over the past week but hey in those words of that great philosopher; “it is what it is”. The truth of the matter is I removed a few options from my life when I began stealing to fuel my compulsive gambling addiction. I am slowly moving toward regaining most options and not having the need to ask permission to do certain things such as leave the state. I am forever grateful for the way my life is transpiring in recovery. I am finally at peace with myself and that compulsion to gamble has been “arrested” (pun intended!!).

My week got so much better today all thanks to a very dear friend who has done so much for me I am eternally indebted. I went to sleep after speaking with this dear friend for awhile about so many different topics. I woke up to the sounds of little feet and yes, it seemed much too early to hear these sounds and I am very happy my children are well past this stage. Interesting sidelight; it seems things due turnaround as my wife informs me she has such a hard time waking up my daughter each day for school. This is the inverse when she was much younger and would get up much earlier. My son continues his happiness in the morning and doesn’t have the difficulty my daughter has in waking up during the early hours of the morning.

I was awake and ready to start my day with my usual morning workout. When I got to the gym I was ready to workout but first I stopped to speak with a friend. This friend looked very depressed and with good reason his mother just had a heart attack. I did my best to just listen as this friend was emotional shaken. It is fascinating how it does no good to “judge a book by its cover” because this friend is a “man’s man” and very tight-fisted with his emotions but when it came to his 84 year old mother he welled up. This reaction made complete sense to me and I did just listen. It was a very sad tale; however; it does appear his mother is going to be okay.

I spent most of the time talking with this friend and my workout could wait. I did feel helpless because there wasn’t anything I could do. I offered my services in anything he may need I would be there and he graciously thanked me. After my friend departed I started my workout but couldn’t stop thinking about this friend and how life is “like a box of chocolates”. No matter the age it is so difficult to see a loved one suffer and I am very fortunate because both of my parents are still young.

In life comes death but this is never easy under any circumstance. My wife’s father passed away 11 years ago this week at a very young age and my Grandfather passed away in 1977 at the very young age of 56. My other Grandfather passed away in his 90’s but my Grandmother passed away in her 50’s when I was a baby. I think I am getting to a point somewhere??? I guess my point would be I have been fortunate that I haven’t had many deaths in my immediate family.

Anyhow I couldn’t stop thinking about my friend and how he was dealing with all the issues. He did ask me what I would do and this question always poses a challenge for me because I really couldn’t answer the question since I was in his situation. I would hope to apply the principles I continue to learn in recovery to these types of situations but that maybe easier said then done. This is the key for me which is to apply the principles into action. I do my best to do this each and everyday.

My workout was finished and it was more brief then usual but still a very good one. I went into work knowing I would be leaving early to join my very good friend for lunch. I did what I needed to do and did join my friend for lunch; and what a lunch it was. We had a lovely lunch on the San Diego Bay directly next to the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Midway and across the Bay from the U.S.S. Reagan (I think?). We ate at a good seafood restaurant and enjoyed the picture perfect San Diego weather. As usual we talked about a variety of subjects and the time went so quickly. Here I was less then two months removed from prison having lunch on the San Diego Bay; my life is most certainly wonderful and I am very blessed.

I returned to the office where I got to speak with my wife and children as part of my daily telephone call. All is well in New Jersey and my children received their report cards which were excellent. My daughter was upset with herself for receiving two B’s from here straight A’s of the first marking period. I told her she did very well and to keep up the great work. My son who is in first grade did receive straight A’s but he had two X’s. I was unaware of the X grading score but apparently he was having difficulty with his reading and math word problems (the two do go hand in hand in my opinion) so he received X’s in these subjects. My children are doing extremely well and I am so blessed by them.

Prior to the telephone call with my family I was able to speak with an old friend and my concerns regarding where we will live come July maybe resolved very soon. I do believe everything will work out for the very best because this is exactly what happens each and everyday in my life. I should have a better gauge tomorrow or over the weekend. I remain positive because in my opinion there is no other viable alternative. My life continues on a wonderful path.