Flying East Once Again

It really does seem like yesterday when I last sat on an airplane and typed. It has been almost one year since that very special day I made my way from Southern California to New Jersey in order to reunite with my wife and children. Yes, we have been all together for almost one year all living together enjoying each very special moment. Today we are making our way east for our annual trip to New Jersey. This time I didn’t need any special permission and it does feel wonderful. We are traveling to New Jersey to celebrate the birth of a new cousin/niece. My wife’s brother and his wife welcomed a beautiful baby daughter this past April and we will be celebrating her christening this weekend.

In the past trips to New Jersey did cause me consternation but ever since reuniting with my family last year I am welcoming this trip with open arms. I do need to provide a disclaimer since I am not staying very long only four days but this is due to work. I realize that life is not about work; however; there does need to be a balance and that balance seems to be a “work in progress”. I was hoping we would be able to take other vacations this summer while the children were off from school but this summer seems to be packed already.

My wife is staying in New Jersey for an extra week and the children are staying another week longer. They will return with my mother and hopefully my niece where my mother will stay another week. This puts us into the ladder part of July and then my brother-in-law’s family will be visiting us for one week. By the time all the trips and visits are completed the children will be back in school; wow summer does move so quickly!!! The children “only” have 8 weeks off for the summer since school starts in the early part of August. Their school year is 10 months long and there has been talk about shortening the school year due to the fact that California is going broke but no definitive word has been released.

In the meantime I am sitting here with my wife on my right and my children on my left. The children are GREAT travelers and the amazing thing is that the two of them are actually sitting next to one another. I can’t stress that enough because on the first leg my son sat next to me and my daughter sat next to my wife as we were across the aisle from one another. The option was given to my children on this flight and it was my daughter’s idea to sit next to her brother. I do think she had an ulterior motive but hey I will take what I can get and yes, they do like one another!!

The trip has been uneventful so far and this is always a good thing. The flight from San Diego to Houston went quickly and now we are headed from Houston to Philadelphia. We are flying into Philadelphia for cost reasons and it really isn’t that far from where my mother resides. In any event this isn’t our “normal” travels but really what does “normally” mean????

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to speak at the Monday Gamblers Anonymous meeting. This marked my third time as a speaker and each time the program’s principles are reiterated loud and clear. At this meeting there was a first time member and it was obvious this person wanted to be anywhere other than in the room. A friend had basically coerced this person to attend and I believe the friend got more out of the meeting than the other person. It certainly “takes what it takes” to fully surrender to the baffling hideous addiction of compulsive gambling. God knows I am a prime example of this foolishness. It did take handcuffs to finally drop me to my knees knowing that gambling took over my life and it was totally out of control. The signs were there for years yet I ignored them and the disease continued to grow.

The analogy to cancer has been made time and time again in the program and I do believe that compulsive gambling is a disease of the brain which manifests itself in many other areas. The only treatment for my disease is practicing the principles of the program which is to live life one moment at a time along with a embracing the GA Program into my life. Thankfully I walked into that room over four years ago and life continues to be incredible. There isn’t any shortage of great days and really each day is a great day.

The question of me putting on a “façade” was posed a few days ago and the only way I can answer this question is with my actions. Yes, I have been extremely fortunate how well everything is working out and I do believe that is a direct result of doing the right things. If I didn’t do the right things none of this would happen and life would be very different. This doesn’t mean that I still have a long way to go because I most certainly do have a long way to go. I still have a great deal of unfinished business which definitely relates directly to my recovery. I have amends to make both personally and financially and I have been postponing this for awhile. If I am going to “walk the walk” I need to do these things or else I can see myself repeating the mistakes of my past. I am far from “amazing” and for now all I can do is the right thing. These “right things” are completed moment by moment for a lifetime and as long as that is the case life will continue on its wonderful path.