Crack of Dawn---Not Really

My intention was to get up very early and start my day just like I have in the past. Even though I don’t “go” to an actual office I wanted to start a routine where I would be going to an office even though I would be just returning home. This was one of those best laid intentions because the time rolled around when I wanted to get out of bed but my brain “forced” me to stay in bed a little longer.

There was a point in my life where I would get up at 3:30 am (which is either very early or very late depending on your point of view!) in order to get to the gym before going to the office. I had this routine for about one year because my work schedule had me working 4 nine hour days and one 4 hour day essentially having a half day on Fridays. I didn’t mind this schedule probably because I was much younger and at the time didn’t have any children. As I left that particular job for another job with a more “routine” work schedule I adjusted my departure time in the morning to a more reasonable 5:00 am. I continued this for quite some time until my sojourn into the California Prison System.

I developed a very good routine while I served my time and once again I was awake well before the “crack of dawn”. Over the past 7 months since my release (yes, it is approaching 7 months and I am officially past the half way point of my parole) I have struggled with the early morning routine especially since my family has returned. I want to spend as much time with my family as possible and seeing my children wake up is very rewarding. Either I wake up very early and return home in time to see my children wake up or I wake up when my children wake up then go to the gym. I have gone with the ladder over the former but this week I wanted to change this; well; this will have to wait because I wasn’t getting out of bed this morning.

I was able to wake up the children and waking up my son is very easy since he comes into our room very early where he snuggles with us until it is time to wake up. My daughter is always another story but the tickling routine continues to work very well. I turn her frown into a smile with the tickling routine each time and today was no exception. Everyone was awake and off to school while I had some things to do prior to departing for the gym. I completed those tasks and got in a very good workout.

I am always concerned when I return to my training routine after I depart from the regimen like I did on Saturday. This is truly a “mind of matter” issue and I had my mind in the right place this morning. The regimen called for an 11 mile run and I had no problems with the run. I am a bit leery about my goal for the upcoming marathon since my legs are at the “tired” stage right now but I got through today’s workout very well, feeling great.

I returned home where I had a writing day planned. I am in the process of producing some written materials for my new position and today was the day I needed to get these done. I did all I needed to do and I find when I am writing no matter what it is I am at peace. I get into a mindset where it is me and the keyboard. Sometimes the words flow freely while other times the words are hard to find. I had one of those in between days where I was flowing and ebbing at the different times. The bottom line is I got things done and scheduled some appointments for later in the week.

On Friday I will be at a casino which is probably not the best place for a compulsive gambler but it is part of my job. No, this won’t be at my old employer since I am very reluctant to enter that establishment even for work related events. In fact last week I past on attending a work related event since I don’t know if I am “legally” able to enter the premises. I passed this on to a co-worker and it was just as well. This Friday is a different establishment where I had played golf several times. The last time I was there was for a charity golf event with the bank that ultimately turned me in. Let’s face it my life is filled with ironies and these ironies will be with me for a very long time.

I would be remiss not to mention the Gamblers Anonymous meeting from last night. My hope was to attend 2 GA meetings per week but with the softball and baseball schedules being what they are I am down to one meeting per week for the near future. I made the point to attend last night since I wouldn’t be able to attend the rest of this week. It seems the folks that “get it” were in attendance at the meeting and those new members of the past few weeks were nowhere to be found. It really is ashamed but I can’t work anyone’s recovery other than my own and I was very grateful to attend the meeting. The meeting was very good and it is my nutrition for week. The reason is clear why my life is progressing so well and that reason is recovery.